|
The Institute for Depressed Football Fans
Currently staying with us Locke Brought in on the 6th May 0:59am 2012 On Saturday 5th May Locke was getting ready to go out and enjoy the Fa Cup Final with little doubt in his mind that his beloved Liverpool would bring the trophy home, a few people had warned Locke for weeks before that Liverpool didn't stand a chance against Chelsea but the warnings were ignored and off to the pub he went with a big smirk on his face, on the 11th Minute that Smirk was soon wiped off his face when Ramires embarrased Reina to make it 1-0 Chelsea.. at this moment in time the Patient was on the verge of depression but he was hanging in there.. an eye witness by the name of Doogle who was also watching the game in the pub said he was foaming at the mouth and shouting " Please Stevie save us again!! " at the screen before being dragged back to his chair by an angry Chelsea fan.. the start of the Second half was going well for Locke.. Liverpool were gaining control but then out of nowhere The Drog struck and Locke's depression hit sky high.. again another eye witness this time a young lad called Salman said Locke fall backwards of his chair and cracked his head on the floor when Drogba found the net with a perfectly placed shot, Locke who could now barely watch anymore carried on watching anyway and some hope in the form of the long haired jobber Carroll came along when he he got 1 back for Liverpool.. and soon after Locke thought Carroll had levelled things up but was denied by the great Petr Cech.. Depression was now at a whole new high for Locke and the Beers rolled in for him, he could hardly keep himself awake as the final whistle blew.. soon after the match he started a fight with the same Angry Chelsea fan who dragged him back to his seat during the match, another eye witness this time an old lady called Piddles said she heard Locke shout " Oi you ****ing Chelsea **** come and have some!! " Piddles also said how she witnessed the Chelsea fan picking Locke up by the collar with one finger and tossing him across the bar like a rag doll, 12 minutes after the Incident a depressed, Injured and very drunk Locke left the pub and decided to try and walk home he didn't make it very far, we found him when we were driving past in a farmers field foaming from the mouth and uttering something along the lines off " Always next year.... next year..... please.... kenny.... please..... " Myself ( Doctor Novo ) and my Assistant ( Doctor Leon ) are running tests on him now to see if he is fit to return home anytime soon, it's not looking likely at the minute though, i'll update you all later. |
Also joining us tonight are Novo (yes, somebody really does take Scottish football seriously), whos Rangers team have not only found themselves bankrupt but also having ten points taken off themselves. Andrew was spotted earlier begging for 3 points when Rangers took on Motherwell, but chance after chance went by and Mothwell continued to dominate the game. Rangers managed to hang on for a point at home and scraped a point to the much better Motherwell side, but Celtic have once again ran away with the league title.
Join us again tomorrow, for Part 3: Leon the Gardener. |
But it's not all bad for our patient Novo because he supports the worlds most successful club who have won more trophies then any other team in the world and they are still 11 league titles ahead of Celtic.. but for dear old Locke things are grim indeed, 20 years ago it looked impossible that anyone would overtake Liverpool's league title haul but what do you know? Fergie did it last year with that magic number 19. Locke will need plenty of medicine to recover from that one, Maybe 5-10 years in the Institute will do the trick and if Liverpool haven't won the league by then another 30 years will do the trick for him and if Liverpool haven't won the league by then ( very likely they won't ) 50 years is it.
|
Things really are looking bad for Novo and his Rangers team at the moment as it looks like they will be going out of business a bit like that team a few years ago... what was there name again... oh yes, Chester FC I think.. remember them? Well Rangers will be following in the same footsteps it appears, soon forgotten and replaced by Heart of Midlothian who will take up that long endowed spot of the second best team in Scotland by the genius that is Neil Lennon good old Celtic
|
Well spam Novo :idc:
|
Things are looking great for Novo and Rangers at the minute, a new buyer is on the Horizon and Aluko is banging them in, McCabe and Ness look like the new Xavi and Inestia and Walter has all the makings to be the next Fergie.. meanwhile Locke finds his beloved Liverpool in 8th place in the table which could end up being the worst finish for them in a long time.. the manager looks like he hasn't got a clue their 35 Million pound striker can't even manage to head a football over the line from 5 yards out and their " Star " keeper Pepe Reina can't even make a save when the ball is hit straight at him. but what can you do.. keep on being second best to United.. suppose that's all they can do nowadays.
|
Knocked silly old worn out Utd out of the cup on our way to the final, along with Everton, even more reason why we deserved to win :pipe:
Anyway, Carroll's shot crossed the line, plain and simple. I can't wait until this happens to England in the world cup, and good old Uruguay go on to win it |
Wishing your own country to be knocked out the world cup in such a cruel way.. is this how sick Liverpool fans have become.. think it's time to make them sing the national anthem next time at Wembley as well instead of booing it :pipe:
|
That has just reminded me actually, who was the woman singing the national anthem today
|
The Hymn girl > The anthem girl
|
Quote:
|
Hang on a minute...... is that a Utd fan with a Newcastle avatar I see :pipe:
Things appear to be a bit desperate down Fergie ways |
Next season is the one for you.
If not that, then the one after etc. etc. |
Let's be honest, City are gonna dominate the league for the next few seasons to come anyway, til then it's just about waiting til their big players get sick of England an wanna go back to the sunny weathers. So, sit back and get ready to wait around for a few years
|
As long as Fergie is at United they'll remain top dogs he knows them inside and out now
|
Yeah, because they have dominated this season, while we have had one of our worst squads in a while....and that is without considering Vidic has been out since like October :laugh:
How City are not champions yet :laugh: |
The table says otherwise am afraid
|
Anyway, am off to bed to have nightmares about that Cech save/Carroll goal, when I return tomorrow City will hopefully be league champions
Spoiler: |
Quote:
|
it's a gradual process. City went from barely qualifying for the champions league last season to embarrassing United at the Etihad (and almost winning the league there and then). No one said City would become overnight champions in league, but expect further dominance next season - the kind which we all witnessed pre-December.
|
They will win this league, an then we will take our trophy back next season :idc:
|
Amazing how the only thing that can stop Fergie is an unlimited amount of money and even then Fergie is fighting it til the bitter end with Key Players injured
|
Well said Novo.
If only Vidic was here :( |
City have been really lucky with injuries this year, have they even had any key players injured?
|
They had Kompany suspended/Injured for a few games and that was when we pulled away :laugh:
|
| All times are GMT. The time now is 03:42 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
User Alert System provided by
Advanced User Tagging (Pro) -
vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.