The Crappiest Ever situation to be in?......
 

100% inspired by the thread about 'urinating outside'.

For those who drive: and have found themselves stuck on country roads/motorways that stretch for miles and there is a massive traffic jam / accident / hold up - those ones that you are stuck in a tailback for hours, moving about 100metres every hour....- especially in the case of a motorway.

Suddenly you realise that you have serious 'gut rot' (ie: you need the services of a loo...and a whole lot of toilet tissue.... within the next 30 seconds). What the hell do you do there!:o

Cars are bumper to bumper for miles: moving nowhere, stuck in the middle of the motorway with no services or facilities within miles.

Now ....... how do you deal with that one? !!!

Just let it go, or run out, abandon the car, and run as far as you can get in those 30 seconds before your 'arse collapses!'. :conf::devil:

get out of the car and run straight to the nearest field

very tasteful for teatime :D

I know... I excel myself at times Kate !

:D


I'm with Karl - there is no way I could let go in situ - but I DO wonder if anyone has ever found themselves in such a position - not necessarily from Tibb - but generally - surely there must be lots of people that have had this hellish situation arise!

Yep very true Pyra. Nightmare situation.

I've had a sudden thought: imagine if it was a hunky guy you were on a date with, had been for a lovely meal - and you were heading home, got stuck in the traffic............ :o then you felt the excriating cramp signifying the inevitable !

:laugh2:

would certainly be an ice breaker !!! Or a date breaker ! ;

I think I'd have to jailbreak and sprint for the nearest field. This reminds me of the time my dad was driving up the motorway with my friend and I in the back, and I suddenly needed to pee. I was getting frantic but he thankfully managed to pull into a McDonald's and I just about made it in time. We get back in the car and set off again and, literally about 10 minutes into the journey, I needed to pee again. Well this time there were no fast food places conveniently springing out onto the road, so I had to pee into the empty bottle of Minute Maid OJ my friend had just finished that he'd thankfully bought from McDonald's, while sitting in the back of the car. Horrible and hilarious. He's somehow still my friend :laugh2:

The only time i've ever soiled myself was while mountain biking. Very unpleasant.

i soiled myself once but i was practically dying at the time idk how i survived tbh i was drinking vodka straight and i had like a litre of it i was on holiday and i collapsed on the floor and had to be dragged down a corridor using a bed sheet

'crappiest ever situation' lol i just got it

Oh Mids :D I always carry a decent supply of tissues with me anyway, if ever using Supermarket, Restaurants, Hospital loos, and there is no loo paper, but now you have me wondering whether to carry an airtight plastic container also for such an emergency :o :joker: Thankfully I haven't found myself in that situation, and touch wood I won't :D

My ex was cycling to work when he had an 'attack', so he turned round and cycled home...but didn't make it in time. I found the offending boxers in the washing basket and made him handwash them himself

ROFL.

Have always like you on here but by god, you've just went right up to the top of the tree Bollo with that one. 'Superb !!

:laugh3: