The Jokes Thread
 

Add jokes, that is all. :pipe:



My mum bought a rape alarm the other day:




What do you call a chicken with lettuce in its eyes?

Dear God!

Holy **** they were awful :laugh:

*waits on Niamh saying "whats brown and sticky?"*

I have recently been battling with a tough hokey cokey addiction, thankfully though I've turned myself around, and that's what it's all about

I don't see better jokes from you wenches. :idc:

Don't give up your day job.

(Or night job in your case xo)

A man is asked to give an after dinner speech at his local Rotary Club stag dinner, and decides to give a witty talk on oral sex. When his wife asked what he was going to speak about, he panicked and said “Oh… erm… sailing”. A few weeks later his wife sees one of the other Rotary club members in town and asks him how he liked her husband’s talk. He said it was brilliant and brought the house down! “Funny,” said his wife, “he’s only ever done it twice; once he was sick and once his hat blew off”.

Smithy

that's the joke

How i charmed my GF

Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill??









TO GET TO THE BOTTOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Been together for 2 years

why did the chicken cross the road

what's the difference between a dead baby and a horse

whats brown and sticky?

:joker::joker::joker::joker::joker:

Doctors say that masturbation is a natural, healthy, and normal thing to do. That's a relief.

ukturtle

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back?

why did nathan cross the road

I got in touch with my inner self today.

:sad:

a lady walks into a butchers shop and says

'have you got a sheep's head?'

the butcher replies

'no, it's just my hairstyle' :)

I called the hotel management from the hotel room and said, "Please, come quick. I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she'll jump out the window of your hotel".

"That is a personal matter". answered the hotel manager.

"**** you!" I screamed. "The window won't open so that's a maintenance matter."

How do you make anti-freeze?

How do you make a sausage roll?

I went to see the Red Arrows today.

There were gasps of "Ooh" and "Aah" as the crowds watched on in amazement. Near miss after near miss had some people covering their eyes and shaking their heads in disbelief.

It was a good half hour's worth of entertainment, but in the end, my wife finally managed to park the car and we made our way to the air show.