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-   -   Can you stay friends with an ex..?... (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=221349)

Ammi 19-02-2013 11:13 PM

Can you stay friends with an ex..?...
 
..I know every situation is different and I’m sure that some people can maintain a successful friendship with an ex-partner...but from what I see with my friendship groups, on the whole a no-contact thing seems to work best..I have some friends who have had a very good relationship with their exes for quite a while after the break-up..but eventually, one of them has met someone else, and that has caused problems that could have been avoided if they had made a ‘complete break’ in the first place...

..do you think you can have a deep and lasting friendship with an ex..?...



..obviously I’m not talking about when there are children involved because that contact and a reasonable relationship is very beneficial then....

Annie 19-02-2013 11:15 PM

Depends why you broke up.

Black Dagger 19-02-2013 11:16 PM

It'd all depend.

I've never had to experience it. If he cheated on me or like physically abused me then ofc not.

If it was a mutual, best to split decision ofc.

King Gizzard 19-02-2013 11:17 PM

end on good terms, be friendly but I don't think whatever the circumstance you could remain close friends

Ramsay 19-02-2013 11:19 PM

Every girlfriend i've had, its been a civil break up and we be nice when we see eachother, but i would hardly count any of them as a friend now, certainly not like we used to be

Joseline 19-02-2013 11:25 PM

Once we break up, It's either **** buddies or nothing.

InOne 19-02-2013 11:27 PM

Unless you have kids with them probably no. They would be an ex for a reason.

Kizzy 19-02-2013 11:31 PM

No, my ex was a nightmare... I was glad to see the back of mine, god i'm a heartless cow lol!

Drew. 19-02-2013 11:32 PM

id say iv stayed mutual with them but i haven't spoken to any of them in ages.. id speak to them if i saw them but times have moved on and we've all met new people. I'm only at a young age so iv had no serious relationships to really look back on any way

GypsyGoth 20-02-2013 12:16 AM

Anyone I've considered an ex, nope I've never stayed friends, I still avoid places they might be.

Munchkins 20-02-2013 12:23 AM

Depends on circumstances
My bf cheated on me, so i prefer to pretend he never existed, i dont even count it anyway we were young so whatevs

AnnieK 20-02-2013 05:33 AM

I think you can.... I would still consider my ex a fairly close friend. I could still go to him for help and we catch up all the time. It was a really sad break up though, there was no big fight, no cheating just sadness as we both knew it was the end but we had been through so much that it was time to move on from the relationship.

Ammi 20-02-2013 05:38 AM

..that's kind of nice and sad at the same time Annie..it's good that you feel that you can talk to each other about things and that you both have a good friend but sad that it didn't work out as there was obviously a deep connection between you...that's sometimes the way it works though...there just isn't that thing that makes a 'complete' relationship...and sometimes you both really want that but you can't make it happen, it's there or it's not...

joeysteele 20-02-2013 08:33 AM

No experience of this myself yet, however I do know of someone who split with the person they lived with and then they both met someone else.
They now regularly go out together and even all go on holiday together.
Accepting they were better being friends than being romatically linked.

I think as others said above, it depends why you broke up in the first place.

Jesus. 20-02-2013 08:38 AM

Nope - nuclear option every time. No calls, texts, meeting for drinks etc. When people break, up it's very rarely like Annie's where both people genuinely believe it's time. There is always one person that wants it more. It's really just dragging it out and making it more painful.

Cut ties, deal with the ****, then move on.

Roy Mars III 20-02-2013 08:53 AM

depends on how serious the relationship was when it ended, and how it ended

Vanessa 20-02-2013 09:12 AM

Sometimes you can. I'm still friends with my ex husband. He's a lovely guy.

SharkAttack 20-02-2013 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesus.H.Christ (Post 5844667)
Nope - nuclear option every time. No calls, texts, meeting for drinks etc. When people break, up it's very rarely like Annie's where both people genuinely believe it's time. There is always one person that wants it more. It's really just dragging it out and making it more painful.

Cut ties, deal with the ****, then move on.

This, unfortunately. Very happy to hear about others in more forgiving relationships though.

Ammi 20-02-2013 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesus.H.Christ (Post 5844667)
Nope - nuclear option every time. No calls, texts, meeting for drinks etc. When people break, up it's very rarely like Annie's where both people genuinely believe it's time. There is always one person that wants it more. It's really just dragging it out and making it more painful.

Cut ties, deal with the ****, then move on.

..yeah, I think that's the thing..it's often one-sided and can only lead to more pain in the end...

Niamh. 20-02-2013 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nathan (Post 5844433)
end on good terms, be friendly but I don't think whatever the circumstance you could remain close friends

This pretty much ^ I don't think it's fair on future partners to be too friendly with an ex and it's always very likely that one of the two of you will still be hoping for something more again

thesheriff443 20-02-2013 09:19 AM

its funny how people end up cheating with their ex.

Vanessa 20-02-2013 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesheriff443 (Post 5844701)
its funny how people end up cheating with their ex.

It happens a lot! :hugesmile:

Z 21-02-2013 12:32 AM

I don't think you can ever be friends with an ex, because at one time they got to experience a side to you that you would never share with any of your other friends... so even if you can get on with them as you did before, I don't think it's right to call it friendship, because it's something else.

Z 21-02-2013 12:33 AM

I'm not friends with any of my exes. I'm friendly with some of them, but they're not my friends. I try my best to move on with my life rather than fester in the past and I think being around an ex is very damaging to that process.

lostalex 21-02-2013 05:42 AM

I'm good friends with all of my exes. I have good taste in men, so all of my exes are really awesome guys. I can't say a bad word about any of them. Some of my exes i think we should have just been friends from the start, but sometimes it's confusing whether or not it's friendship or a relationship. I've never had a nasty breakup though.

If you hate your exes, just remember, you're the one that chose them. Unless you are a pakistani or indian that had an arranged marriage, you picked them,. so you really can't complain.


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