DanaC |
19-08-2013 10:28 AM |
I do have a recurring dream. One of those that happens as you are waking. Not every night, but often.
It's quite a simple dream. I wake, I do not recognise my surroundings, I am somehow enclosed. The setting isn't always exactly the same, and it's difficult to describe. But it is usually an empty space, with smooth curved walls, or it is a tentlike place. Flowing cloth with no gaps, no way out. All of this is known but I cannot actually see more than slight impressions. A sense of mounting claustrophobia and panic. There is something. A presence of some kind. Or the fear of a future presence, imminent, dark and threatening. Not sure...it shifts from dream to dream.
I know if I can get the light, I'm ok. At some level I must know I'm waking and if I can get the light switch near my bed I'll be awake and will be able to see...see what, of course is not known.
Usually, this is only a momentary thing. Sometimes it goes on a little too long for comfort and I am at near panic by the time I get the light switch and am reconnected with my actual location.
Verrrry occasionally, it goes on long enough to become dread. This happened a few weeks ago. I was trying to find the switch, it wasn't there. My hand didn't come up against the reasurringly cold and hard surface of my bedroom wall or the rough-hewn and solid wood of my bedside table. There was just air. Just..space. It was real. An impression (never more than that) of smooth curving walls. A cold sense of shock as the dream didn't end. A much deeper panic. And, somehow a sense of having returned to somewhere. And again the fear of a nearby or future presence.
And then I did get to the light. Bit vague about the details and chronology, or how that chronology felt to me...but it seemed to take a longer time than usual to get my bearings again. I stumbled off to the loo, then got back in bed and fell back to sleep for an hour or so.
When I was getting up later that morning, though i hadn't had the dream again, and had slept well in the interim, I still felt unsettled, a bit jumpy. At which point I noticed that instead of it all just going on in my head until the moment I reach for the switch, this time I had actually got out of bed because the radio ipod dock on the other side of the (admittedly quite small) room had been knocked to the floor, its wires trailing behind it.
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