Her new collum: Why i don't believe in Monogamy
 

Although its controversial she makes some very good points, why do we all strive to find that one special person who will make us eternally happy?

I think she's bang on when saying that making cheating taboo just makes it more exciting but if you lay your cards on the table and both agree to be in each others life and see what happens then temptation wont be as thrilling therefor is less likely to happen and ruin a potentially great relationship.

She posts

"consider the one person that may shatter your idealistic world to pieces when lack of trust leads to snooping through texts and emails"

I think 90% of people can relate to that moment when you go crazy in a relationship and start snooping through your partners phone. Relationships can be unwanted stress and for what? Just trying to find that perfect life you see in the movies or how we feel we are supposed to be. Those are my words.

Here's her full article.

After all, that tantalising temptress of tease is what butchered our furry feline friend… as well as those cripplingly complex relationships us mere mortals create and cling to so dearly.

Yet we as humans are creatures of spontaneity, impulse, and that seductive little bitch, temptation.

So why as a nation are we so enchanted by the magical allure of monogamy? The need to mate with a sole lone ranger? On finding that ONE person to spend the rest of your life with? Zzzzzz…

Question yourself why the Disney fairytale has translated into real life, forever in quest of the one person you can never share, as if s/he is a shiny trinket to admire on the mantlepiece.

I ask that you challenge our ideals of why we are content perpetually searching for the one person who will never falter, as if s/he is immune from the eye candy they will inevitably cross paths with.


Instead, consider the one person that may shatter your idealistic world to pieces when lack of trust leads to snooping through texts and emails… and you discover you're definitely not the only ONE.

Call me a cynical skeptic. I call it reliable realism.

And besides, you’re the one missing out on instinctive and salacious hook-ups…

When I enter a relationship, I categorically do not dive blindly in thinking, 'This is it!'

My eyes are wide open – like ‘Homer Simpson realising there's no beer in the fridge left’ open – and my heart is definitely not worn on my sleeve. Lee Ryan, take note.

And I truly believe I would forgive my partner if he had a one-night stand, not because I’m a doormat, but because I just don’t see how you can only be with one person forevermore.

Eve ate the apple because she was tempted and I think we will be grabbing juicy, succulent, mouth watering fruit from trees to satisfy our needs throughout our whole existence.


So now for the twist, if we could learn to be open and honest with each other, then there would be no such thing as cheating. Hear me out...

There would be less broken hearts, less paranoid people, more trust in a relationship. And maybe K-Stew and R-Patz would still be together.

Besides, if the fruit is not forbidden, would you still grab it?

I always say to the guys I date, 'Let's be together for now and see what happens. If you want to see other people or sleep around, fine – but it works both ways.'

Weirdly, once having a licence to thrill becomes acceptable, it essentially becomes less exciting.

If anyone has cheated – yeah, you with the inbox you keep deleting – you'll know the excitement of sneaking around lies at the heart of the fun.


Once that's stripped away, the whole thing falls a bit flat and seems less appealing… and you realise you're just banging your ugly boss in a suit.

On the flip side, two loving relationships co-existing does not appeal to me.

The idea of my partner 'dating' someone else simultaneously gives me that raw throat lump we get when we try not to cry Not because of the sex, but because the idea of someone I cherish having an emotional attachment to another bed-buddy sends my stomach into rollercoaster flips.

You can’t be in love with two people at the same time, and I certainly wouldn’t want to be the one on the wrong side of rose-tinted domestic bliss; rejection isn’t really my forte.

While everyone has their own views on relationships and how to conduct them, I can’t help but think if monogamy was a non-issue and we were free to do what we wanted to, more severed bonds might survive the dreaded inevitably of broken hearts due to wandering eyes… and hands.

So, singletons or taken totty, call me maybe?

In which publication can I find her relationship advice? Cosmo for porn stars? Her advice is dire.

I don't agree with every thing but she makes some really good points if you actually read it with an open mind and not your ideal ideas on how your life should be. If you did infact even bother to read it.

I wouldn't fancy it myself tbh I don't really agree with any of her points either, I mean :

I think 90% of people can relate to that moment when you go crazy in a relationship and start snooping through your partners phone.

90% of people? really? I doubt it

Why the attitude? What make you think I haven't read it and do you think this can be taken seriously?

Her advice does not take into account people with lower sex drives than her. Her advise doesnt take into account people with a higher emotional attachment than her. Her advise is basically advise she'd give herself. So do you know where I can find her astonishing insight or do you just want to ask daft questions? Sorry for the attitude but you started it.

Actually it does.

"On the flip side, two loving relationships co-existing does not appeal to me.

The idea of my partner 'dating' someone else simultaneously gives me that raw throat lump we get when we try not to cry.

Not because of the sex, but because the idea of someone I cherish having an emotional attachment to another bed-buddy sends my stomach into rollercoaster flips.

You can’t be in love with two people at the same time, and I certainly wouldn’t want to be the one on the wrong side of rose-tinted domestic bliss; rejection isn’t really my forte
"

I *think* Girth is saying people who don't separate sex from love and therefore would have a higher emotional attachment to their partners

'Instinctive and salacious hook ups' are not for every one but she gives the impression that you're missing out if you don't engage in this activity. Some people dont care about missing out and she doesnt take them into consideration. She's basically giving advise to people just like her

:worship:

Its not advice its her opinion and asking people to look at it from a different perspective and after reading it a lot of it does make sense.

Don't get me wrong I couldn't deal with my partner sleeping with someone else but that's not because of the sex its the worry of them falling in love with them.

I think it only makes sense if your partner having sex with other people wouldn't bother you though :laugh: And I'm willing to bet it would bother most people!

But like she also says that taking away the taboo of cheating makes it less appealing/exciting and therefor what I took from it is eventually this would lead to a stronger relationship where you realise the grass isn't greener.

I agree with you that most people couldn't deal with it but it does kind of makes sense if you think about it long term and not just quick hook-ups.

Opinions or advice its still very focused on her personal preferences. Why is she giving sex tips anyway? What qualifications does she have other than having had multiple cocks at the same time?

Meh I don't buy that logic I'm afraid and I don't think that most people cheat because it's exciting either, maybe some do but I don't think it's the only or the most popular reason people cheat at all, I think mostly people who cheat do so because they fancy someone else and don't have the self control to say no :shrug:

Where are the sex tips? If so having multiple cocks woud make her qualified on sex lol plus ofcourse its personal preference its her column but she's asking people just to think of the idea and not telling them how they should be.

I just think there's nothing worse than being in a relationship and worrying that your partner will cheat which most people do, its a head ****.

If you go into a relationship without expectations and actually take a chance that eventually you will both tire of the whole temptation or lifestyle and just be in love with each other that would be a much better relationship eventually seeing as its totally open and honest.

The worst thing about monogamy is in my opinion how destructive it can be. Most couples cant even admit to even looking at another person without extreme jealousy and paranoia. That's a miserable relationship to be in and I think most people have experienced that.

God I sound like Carrie Bradshaw lol.

Its her stunted views on relationships and like Niamh said she doesn't seem to realise that sex and relationship are to some people all part of the same thing. I dont think its admirable that she so easily differentiates between sex and relationship cuz I think most men would not be of the same opinions as her. Personally, I doubt she's even has had multiple cocks at the same time as many times as she like to give the impression. She's 25 or 26 right? She must have started young, possibly underage, and been going at it hammer and tongs to be as sexually experienced as she likes people to think. I doubt she's had many meaningful relationship even though she has a kid as I think most men would be put off by her eventually.

If you've got a great relationship where you're friends as well as lovers, can make each other laugh, trust each other 100%, have no self esteem issues and don't crave attention continually, monogamy happens naturally IMO.

Exactly :love:

I agree. :thumbs:

But her opinions aren't for you. You're missing out, as far as Luisa is concerned, on the instinctive hook up. Luisa doesn't seem to realise that sex can still be exciting even of you've know each other for ten years. Luisa seems to think Sex is only exciting when its with randoms. Sorry but the column and her opinions are dire.

But how often does that happen? That's a lot of great qualities which anyone would love to have but lets face it people aren't that simple and perfect. Yes its ideal to have 100% trust and be best friends and in love but people end up being disappointed seeing as this rarey happens.

How many relationships break up or how many people get divorced, in my life more people are divorced than married and all have had multiple failed relationships where they have strived for everything to be perfect and given up on each other because it fails to materialise that way.

It happens a lot.. Every single one if my friends is in a happy monogamous relationship.. Obviously there's no guarantee that every couple will be together till death do them part, but to most people shagging around won't make them any happier.

Agreed.

I have no idea why the OP can't seem to let go trying to convince people it will make relationships better if we 'pretend' not to care about our partners having sex with other people.

I don't believe that at all, you are saying every single one of your friends are in perfect relationships where theres 100% trust with no slight paranoia or issues?

How can every single one of your friends be in a relationship? Plus we don't know what goes on behind closed doors, all couples are on their best behaviour in public and feel the need to look happy imo but ofcourse that's not true. Couples try to be perfect and when it doesn't work out I think that destroys relationships.

I don't agree that having lots of sex with different people is ok and I couldn't do it but I see her point that being open and honest from the start and not expect everything to be perfect is spot on.

I think going into a relationship its probably more healthy to take the approach of seeing where it goes and not pressurise it by commiting to each other straight away.

Im not im just discussing something I had never considered before and a lot of points do actually make sense.

I don't agree that having lots of sex with different people is 100% ok and I couldn't do it but I see her point that being open and honest from the start and not expect everything to be perfect is spot on.

I think going into a relationship its probably more healthy to take the approach of seeing where it goes and not pressurise it by commiting to each other straight away.

I guess I just have the ability to look at both sides of an opinion.

Surprisingly interesting read

Doesn't matter what she'd have said though, it's Luisa, some people will refuse to take her seriously. She could find the cure for cancer and some people would still go 'dirty ****ing ***** she sleeps with multiple men I ain't trusting her the ****ing slag'