discovering you have an adopted brother?
 

who is in his 50s? how on earth does one deal with that?

it seems he was adopted straight from birth but I don't know a great deal more

any advice ? experiences?

I cant compare ,but I was abandoned as a small child with my older brother,we went on to be happily adopted,but have found out we have 5 other siblings which we have never met,to be brutally honest,I don't really care,they are strangers to me,although it would be nice to see them I think it would start off as you do when you meet people for the first time,I don't think there would be that bond,but it may be different with you.Good luck anyway.

I wonder if I have any half siblings and my parents are lying to me...

They were both married to other people and divorced them before meeting each other.
I know that, I have asked them if there's any half siblings that I should know about and they both said no.

I wouldn't think they would lie to you ,would they BBfanUSA?

How have you found out? Has he contacted you? I'm so nosy :joker:

no an adoption agency has

Do you WANT to meet him?

I'd probably be quite interested to know about them. I don't really buy into any of that "blood is thicker than water" crap so it wouldn't really be an emotional issue... If they weren't worth knowing then I'd just cut them loose.

As for having been "lied to", don't think I'd be bothered about that either. People have their reasons for doing all sorts of things. I'd be interested to know what the reasons were, though... For the adoption in the first place, and for the secrecy.

Is there no one to tell you of the circumstances of his adoption? Personally I would want to meet him, if only to help him know something of his past.

:smug:

As someone who's adopted, and know I probably have biological siblings out there because my mom was only 15 when she had me, i really don't consider them family and have no desire to know them. If they contacted me i would be friendly, but I probably wouldn't put much effort into making them part of my life.

To me they would be like the cousins i only ever see at funerals and weddings. Im friendly, but they really aren't a part of my life at all, and i don't want them to be.

Everyone's different though. Some adopted people are desperate to know their biological family.

at this stage he has my deepest sympathies

it's totally your choice "the truth" if you don't want to have a relationship with them, you don't have to, and no one should make you feel pressured into it.

you absolutely have a right to say "no , i don't want to know you"

because of what he would be getting himself into by contacting the family, or because of what he missed out on?

what he missed out on

Ooh that's tricky, just go with your gut instinct but I have a feeling if they kept you and had him adopted he may be a tad resentful?...

The OP isn't clear - you have a 50 year old brother but you've discovered that your parents adopted him or you have a 50 year old brother who your parents gave up for adoption? I'm assuming it's the latter. How did you discover you have a 50 year old brother after all this time? Did your parents tell you? Has he contacted you because he's found out who his biological family are?

I'm guessing it's the latter too unless they kept him locked in the attic? :laugh:

I think you misunderstood what Z meant by the former Kizzy

No I didn't, he's not met the brother.

He actually hasn't said that in any of his posts though

iginally Posted by Cherie View Post
How have you found out? Has he contacted you? I'm so nosy

no an adoption agency has

yes but that is not your fault.

It depends on the circumsances, he may just want to know his medical history :shrug:

Well from what I can gather reading the OP he hasn't met him.

Well I don't know, there could be 101 questions he has I guess.