What they don't know
 

When a person is brain damaged, before they are discharged, their families/carers are extensively briefed on what to expect. The person isn't doing nothing because she's lazy, but because she's got a kind of brain fog. Sadly, things like hygiene slip away because of this passivity. This is why Gary so readily agreed to take a shower--when it was brought up by someone else, the fog lifted.

The shushing is part of the difficulty of remembering what is appropriate in social situations. What person without brain damage would sit there and listen to James go on and on and on about how helpful and wonderful he was?

So, to sum up, I really think that BB should have briefed the HMs somewhat about what to expect, and I think that it would be a much different house, although some of them still would have been mean and nasty. After all, they're treating Gary like he's a nasty version of their granddads. I think Audley, for one, would make allowances. Then we'd see the real villains.

Another poster gave a really good source about brain damage.
http://synapse.org.au/get-the-facts/...act-sheet.aspx

The bit in bold is hilarious :laugh:

Yeah maybe they should have briefed them, and I think you're right. Ignorant people like David would probably still argue that Gary is "manipulative".

What person without brain damage would sit there and listen to James go on and on and on about how helpful and wonderful he was? :laugh2:

They really do need to be told.

Criticising Gary for his not showering or his inappropriate comments is the equivalent of criticising someone in a wheelchair for not moving round the house quick enough.

But the housemates can't see it. Are they just not bright enough or do they not care?

This is why Audley stands out to me....I haven't seen him attack or join in with the others against Gary.
I know he hasn't done an awful lot but...he dislikes James and hasn't jumped on the Gary bandwagon...that's why he is my second favourite.

Oh please. I don't believe what I'm reading some days... you guys..
:idc:

What did I get wrong?

Criticising Gary for not showering is like criticising a person in a wheelchair for not moving quickly enough?

Surely sweeping overgeneralisations about brain injuries are not relevant and do more harm than good.

TBI's can cause many different social, cognitive, emotional and physical defects.. you cannot generalise on the type of injury Busey had and what his own personal problems are relating to the injury. The brain is a very complex organ. If Gary DOES need reminding to shower, or reminding that basic functions are necessary, if indeed your assumptions are true, then Big Brother has an obligation to provide Gary with that kind of support... IF indeed he is incapable of living without support, which is kind of what you are suggesting, Big Brother should either a) provide him with that support by calling him to the Diary Room... Hi Gary... it's time to have a shower and change your clothes... that kinda thing.. or b) Don't put him in the house.

The other housemates are there to provide entertainment and have fun. They are not there to be Busey's carers. But please, don't generalise about his brain injury. Unless of course you were his physician and you have access to his records..

I liked the way Audley told Gary not to go into the shower alone, and when Gary started getting his back up, Audley said it was because of his knee injury, which could cause him to slip.

A lot depends on what part of the brain is affected. It doesn't mean every bad trait a person may have is due to the damage.

I thought it was spot on.

That was James.

BB should have not asked him to go the show in the first place, the housemates are not trained carers, if does need special help then he needs people who trained to provide it.

Was it? They were both there, but I thought it was Audley. Oh, well, I've been wrong before.

^^^^ THIS^^^^ :clap1: :clap1: :clap1:

Absolutely right, but since they did accept him, they should do something to ameliorate the situation. I'm sure some of the HMs wouldn't come off so badly if they understood the situation.

I think it was James.

For those of you who have not yet experienced a family member with some form of dementia, wait until you do and then cast judgement on how the housemates 'should' act. I'm not saying Gary is in this category, but just that nothing quite prepares you for it. You spend a life time building mental models of 'expected/anticipated' behaviour only to have them shattered. Try as you might, it's very easy to get annoyed with them and them with yourself for getting annoyed.

You don't need to be a carer to show some decency when talking to a person & let's face it, they have showed far more respect to Kellie who has been much more difficult to live with than Gary.

I appreciate what you are saying, but don't think it is relevant in this case. I have dealt with dementia, brain damage, and brain injury of people close to me, each of them very different and there are no 2 cases the same.. its a very individual thing.

I love the forum, we learn each day and thanks for the information. No matter what the reason is we only have the HMs word that Gary does not shower. As I have said, maybe he does not shower but it doesnt mean to say he doesnt wash. To me it is all just a little bit picky.

He has every right to be there otherwise he would not have been chosen. His Agent along with BB and their aids, would have made sure that he was fit. As it has been said, the powers that be are watching Kellie and Gary to make sure they are ok, I guess these are the obvious two with problems, Gary his hearing and Kellie her own need to be accepted. Having said that though, Kellie, at this moment, is the favourite to go tomorrow. Gary and George look quite safe and believe it or not Stephanie looks pretty good.

Yeah I agree, but not sure why you've put this in response to my post?

When I said David would think Gary is manipulative I was referring to the fact that he seemed to think Gary is using his hearing impairment to manipulate the other housemates in his interview last night... Or something like that anyway, he wasn't making much sense :laugh:

This is what I was trying to say the other day, I cant help wondering why though everyone goes on about a brain injury. Gary is very competent in his VTs. I wonder what sort of questions Emma will ask him when he comes out?

You are absolutely right. If he needs help, both physically and mentally, he shouldn't be in the house. It's unfair to him and unfair to the others. At the very least, the other HM's should have been fully briefed about any possible problems. Which makes me think he doesn't need any particular help and his brain is working fine, thanks very much...

I think we have to bring it all down to the nitty gritty factor of the show, to be nominated is their fear so, it is best to stay with the crowd and not to fall out of the fold. Thus Gary and Frenchie have been the two obvious ones to pick. Leslie made this very clear in the beginning, then we have the likes of James and Stephanie saying that they should be caged like animals, titter, titter. One hears, one catches on and there we go we have the bulk of the show. Sheep followng each other....