Lying To Kids?
 

In another thread, LeatherTrumpet (in one of his more grumpy moods) raises a very intriguing question about whether we should 'lie' to our kids or not. Whilst I have never consciously lied to my kids on 'serious' matters, I delighted in 'lying' to them when they were young in order to 'enrich' their childhood.

For example, I not only always told them that Father Christmas really existed, but I also went to great lengths to convince them of it, doing the whole dressing up and creeping in to their bedroom stuff, and even faking reindeer hoof prints, boot prints and sleigh print marks on the snow covered back porch roof in snowy years.

Around Bonfire night, I used to tell them that at this time of year the night sky was full of Evil Witches who were flying on their broomsticks but had turned themselves invisible so we humans couldn't see them. I used to set off sky rockets after telling my children how, whenever one of these 'special' rockets hit an invisible witch, they would 'explode' into a burst of stars.
I'll never forget cuddling my kids close and the pure excitement on their little faces as each rocket 'hit another witch'.

What do you think? Is convincing kids of such stuff really 'Lying'?

You could say that all fiction is lying so we shouldn't tell children stories. While convincing children that Santa exists isn't telling the truth, I wouldn't go quite so far as saying it's "lying". Like everything else, it's the intended consequence of the lie that's important.

Not sure I'm down with the 'witches' thing... what about Guy Fawkes? Witches belong at Halloween... but it's all personal.

Well I believe that it's ok to lie in general if it's a good cause (telling someone who is clearly just about to bleed to death they are going to be ok/someone coming to the door with a machete asking for someone you have hiding in your basement etc) I don't personally see the harm in playing the whole Santa Claus/tooth fairy trope to stimulate the minds of the child.

I enjoyed it and when I grew up to realise it was a load of bull I also knew the context it was in and that it happens all over the place. Much a do about nothing.

Well, I don't agree with properly lying to kids, like saying their dad went to buy milk after he has been gone for three months. :hehe:

With some things, like christmas, you want the child to feel the magic, some people go a bit overboard, but I think it's fair, kids usually appreciate the effort when they find out it's all a scam.

The ones that really bother me is when people lie to their children and scare them because they don't know how to punish their own child.. "The security guard is going to kick you out", "The bogey man will get you if you leave your bed in the night", "the man will take you away if you don't stay with me when we go out". :bored: I think all of that is very idiotic.

(my sister uses harry potter to convince my niece to be good because she is scared of him :rolleyes:)

If largest LT girl asks me who this present is from I still say Santa. My Chrimbo lies will be with me till the grave.

But if say smallest LT boy child says "what happens to me after I die?" I say nothing, you will rot or burn. If he says is Granny in heaven I say no, she is dead and that is that.

Life is hard and kids dont need sugar coating, apart from Chrimbo

oh and telling them their mum is great and not a scheming passive-aggressive self obsessed narcissist...






serentity now, serenity now, serenity NOW...

Who is mummy LT? I don't feel like I know her.

I agree with this although as Livia said the witches probably more for Halloween ,Guy Fawkes for Bonfire Night,but I'm all for the stuff that makes kids lives magical,they lose that all too soon,so enjoy it all while they are kids I say,who could deny a childs face thinking they have seen Santa?

:joker:

I must put these wedding pics away now

You got what you deserved then pal, I thought most succubus's hide their true form until after the honeymoon. Looks like she had already turned before you got to say I do.

I should have guessed when instead of turning up to the church in a vintage Rolls she rose from one of the sunken graves at the side of the Vestry

:suspect:

Not mention she had cousin IT fetch her vows :think:

I look after a little boy every single day and when he's bad I tell him Slenderman is going to come get him and take him to the dungeon of bad children and that he will never see his mum again if Slenderman gets him. He eventually stoped being scared of him so I showed him a clip of the American version of The Grudge where the ghost is under the womans cover so tell him now that the grudge will get him in his bed if he doesn't start doing what he's told. It makes him be good and it's really funny for me when he's bad 'cause I get to tell him these things and he gets really scared and says sorry. My parent's used to scare me all the time when I was little and so I'm just passing on my family values lol. Is it wrong of me to do this? Probably.

:joker::joker::joker:

Children lose their innocence too fast now, Father Christmas, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy are all good in my opinion.

My son is nearly 4 and if he asks questions that need an truth or lie question, I won't lie. He is at an age where accepts that people die and you won't see them again without fully understanding the implication and moves on but I don't want to lie to him. He is very inquisitive and doesn't forget anything so I will be caught out if I try to lie and sugar coat things.

It's a lie by definition but I wouldn't put it in the same league. Have no issue with letting your kids have a bit of fun!

As parens we are duty bound to try and gve our kids a magical childhood.
We even had Pixies at the end of our gaden.

:love:

Bloody hell I hope your kids never accidentally walked into your wardrobe :hehe:

Because they'll find LT in there dressed in a PVC catsuit, 'Marilyn' wig and full make up. :hehe:

:laugh:

I saw him more as Mr Tumnus :hehe:

https://www.stanwinstonschool.com/up..._592_large.jpg

:joker::joker::joker::joker:

I think in terms of what you are sayig lying to kids is acceptable. There are things kids need to be lied to about.

For example, spoiling the magic of Christmas, having them believe in Santa is a wonderful thing and I know that when I was a young believing in Santa was the best thing ever.

Also children have to be lied to about serious matters because sometimes things are too graphic, or too explicit for their little ears/eyes.

lucky guess


:hmph: