Fortunately, Unfortunately
 

Example:

Fortunately: New filters mean our children are safe from pornography
Unfortunately: All of the horny teenagers will now impregnate one another and mean we have even more teenage pregnancies

I'll start:

Fortunately, Zac Efron is making new movies which means more shirtlessness xx

Unfortunatley Zac Efron is a Bad Actor

Fortunately: A lack of talent doesn't affect your looks, otherwise Katie Price would be screwed

Unfortunately Katie P is married :bawling:

Fortunately... probably not for long.

Fortunately: It means that there's one less sex addict on the streets x

Unfortunately katie h becomes a sex addict to take her place

Fortunately: Her sexual activities in fields are an idealist opportunity for doggers

Fortunatley she is great at sex

unfortunately perez watched and uploaded it to his blog

Fortunately Perez was then arrested for his role in the Fappening

Unfortunatley Nobody has given Perez a black eye since the last time

Fortunately: someone will give him a black dick in prison

Unfortunately, that person is Alexander O'Neal.

Fortunatley Alexander will be knighted

Unfortunately he won't, because he's American.

Fortunately it will be a honoury knighthood

Unfortunately, it's still not official and Alexander is executed for treason

Fortunately Nadia is also executed for nagging

Unfortunately, no one except the Loose Women attended her funeral

Fortunately they all fell in and were buried alive

Unfortunately they all came back as Zombies

Fortunately Ken Morley takes them down

Unfortunately Ken was secretly bitten by a Zombie so they is no hope in saving the world.

Fortunately the zombie Ken is less offensive than his regular self.