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-   -   Sarah and her saying that she would be attracted to guys with money... (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=277162)

Ammi 15-05-2015 05:51 AM

Sarah and her saying that she would be attracted to guys with money...
 
..I know that this will not endear her to the public and makes her seems shallow..for me though I think it has the exact opposite effect in that it makes me think that she's quite deep and she intrigues me a lot more now...she did say that she wouldn't have said that/thought the same at 18yrs old and I think has had an experience of love deeply hurting her...she also seems to be generally guarded and defensive around guys and maybe guys that she could be physically attracted to or who may remind her of something/someone who has hurt her..?...someone who has taken away her belief in love..?...also, I think the money thing might also be partly to do with her child and security etc but I don't know...and I know that a lot of people have been hurt by love/relationships in their lives but things like that effect us all differently/leave different scars which have different controls over how we think and see things and people...

..she seems like a smart, intelligent, clued up person so I'm sure that when she said that to BB, she would know that it would pretty much be a negative thing and may turn the public against her, thinking that she was shallow but she was still open and honest about it....and that's the thing as well, her honesty with this is only something that will hurt herself and the public perceptions of her, it doesn't hurt anyone else in that her honesty doesn't insult, offend in her opinions of someone else/another housemate so it's odd that the public 'hail' honesty like they did with Helen by voting her the winner because she was 'honest' and yet with Sarah that isn't a good thing..?...honesty that hurts and offends, makes people feel bad about themselves etc is ok but honesty that doesn't and only harms the person who is showing it is not ok..?...anyway, for me she's probably the one who could potentially have the biggest 'journey' in the house and maybe totally changed herself and more trusting because of her experience in there and I would say very far from being a shallow person.. so I would really like her to stay...I would like to see her initial guardedness and defensiveness, which I think is something that she's built to protect herself and the hurt she has experienced in her life start to be replaced a bit by the real bonds and friendships I think that she could make in there and especially with some of the guys....


...thoughts..?...

Northern Monkey 15-05-2015 06:32 AM

I actually agree with all of your post.I said in another thread that she seems bitter and i think it looks like she's been hurt either recently or by somebody she loved deeply.It has happened to us all.When it happened to me for the first time i was young(around 18) and i did the typical lad thing of not really getting too attached to anyone and playing the field quite alot until i was around 26 when i found the woman i wanted to be with and now have a family with 7 years later.We all handle things differently and sorry to use this word but Sarah seems quite vulnerable and has her guard up.I don't think she's a bad person imo.She just needs to find the right person who may or may not have money in the end.

(This may be the one and only serious post i make this series:laugh:)

Gusto Brunt 15-05-2015 07:23 AM

She 'proudly' says she only interested in guys with money?

But she wants to take a good look in the mirror. She has baggage. She might think she's a catch but not for all guys she's not.

She should be looking for decency and commitment in a man, not how thick his wallet is. Unless she is aiming to be an escort which is what a gold digger like her is when she seeks out money + man.

y.winter 15-05-2015 08:42 AM

I'm not buying what she's trying to sell. It would've been better for her to say that she's turned on by abs and biceps - less shallow than saying that money it is.
Getting pregnant at nineteen with her then-boyfriend, engaging one year later just to make sense of it - I can't appreciate hasty young people (hello buildup to Farrah Abraham on CBB16).
Of curse you need money as a single mom, but you were "enough" adult to get pregnant, so good for you - take responsibility for your actions.
There's no reason for money being the answer, no matter how skint you are.
You can't be victimized by your own words.

Gusto Brunt 15-05-2015 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by y.winter (Post 7771237)
I'm not buying what she's trying to sell. It would've been better for her to say that she's turned on by abs and biceps - less shallow than saying that money it is.
Getting pregnant at nineteen with her then-boyfriend, engaging one year later just to make sense of it - I can't appreciate hasty young people (hello buildup to Farrah Abraham on CBB16).
Of curse you need money as a single mom, but you were "enough" adult to get pregnant, so good for you - take responsibility for your actions.
There's no reason for money being the answer, no matter how skint you are.
You can't be victimized by your own words.

She'd get more respect if she said she was aiming to pass her law degree, get a good job and provide for her child. Then maybe a nice man would follow.

just thinkin 15-05-2015 08:52 AM

I think this was all taken out of proportion by the guys - first of all she has a small dependent - that must be her main concert - I would totally agree with her. There comes a stage in someones life where playtime is over and messing around is over especially when there is a small child depending on her - she's just growing up and looking out for herself and her child - of course she wants a stable environment for her and her child with a man who can support her - who wouldn't. It's called growing up and taking responsibility and putting your child first. Of course the guys (who never really grow up) don't understand that - they usually are the ones with a get out clause when it comes to kids and failed relationships - girls are the ones left struggling. don't find anything wrong with what she said at all. the young boys just probably don't understand yet.

Crimson Dynamo 15-05-2015 08:56 AM

women interested in men with money shock


i have yet to meet one that only went for guys with no money


:idc:

y.winter 15-05-2015 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by just thinkin (Post 7771248)
I think this was all taken out of proportion by the guys - first of all she has a small dependent - that must be her main concert - I would totally agree with her. There comes a stage in someones life where playtime is over and messing around is over especially when there is a small child depending on her - she's just growing up and looking out for herself and her child - of course she wants a stable environment for her and her child with a man who can support her - who wouldn't. It's called growing up and taking responsibility and putting your child first. Of course the guys (who never really grow up) don't understand that - they usually are the ones with a get out clause when it comes to kids and failed relationships - girls are the ones left struggling. don't find anything wrong with what she said at all. the young boys just probably don't understand yet.

I totally disagree. She's female, not disabled.
As a man myself I don't feel like I'm "gifted" with supernatural forces making me unstoppable - I work, I do my best and I earn what I deserve, I don't look for excuses if I fail (aka age and gender).
Having a bit of common sense, it's all what it takes.

Mokka 15-05-2015 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet (Post 7771253)
women interested in men with money shock


i have yet to meet one that only went for guys with no money


:idc:

My youth Teas... I only ever went for the broke hippie idealist :hehe:

On topic, They probably gave her a list to choose from, like in those quizzes Niamh always hooks us up with... I myself today would have to agree with her if she had to choose out of looks and abs and all those other superficial things.

When wanting to spend your life with someone and knowing that financial difficulties is one of the leading causes of divorce, a financially stable guy can be a big turn on...

She never said rich, and she never said money is everything... just a turn on.

MrWong 15-05-2015 09:10 AM

Women are biologically wired to look for secure, resourceful men. Men are biologically wired to look for beautiful, fertile women.

Can't see an issue here.

just thinkin 15-05-2015 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by y.winter (Post 7771269)
I totally disagree. She's female, not disabled.
As a man myself I don't feel like I'm "gifted" with supernatural forces making me unstoppable - I work, I do my best and I earn what I deserve, I don't look for excuses if I fail (aka age and gender).
Having a bit of common sense, it's all what it takes.

I don't think any man or women are gifted with supernatural forces - I didn't hear the girl saying that she wanted to sit back and let a man take care of her. I'm sure she's very capable of doing that for herself and her child already - didn't hear her looking for excuses either to be honest - to me she basically said she's at a time in her life where she's looking for stability and security for her and her child and not some young kid that hasn't grown into responsibility yet - to me she talks a lot of common sense. She's a smart cookie.

Niamh. 15-05-2015 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by y.winter (Post 7771269)
I totally disagree. She's female, not disabled.
As a man myself I don't feel like I'm "gifted" with supernatural forces making me unstoppable - I work, I do my best and I earn what I deserve, I don't look for excuses if I fail (aka age and gender).
Having a bit of common sense, it's all what it takes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by just thinkin (Post 7771290)
I don't think any man or women are gifted with supernatural forces - I didn't hear the girl saying that she wanted to sit back and let a man take care of her. I'm sure she's very capable of doing that for herself and her child already - didn't hear her looking for excuses either to be honest - to me she basically said she's at a time in her life where she's looking for stability and security for her and her child and not some young kid that hasn't grown into responsibility yet - to me she talks a lot of common sense. She's a smart cookie.

Exactly just thinkin. Sarah is a mother, the last thing she needs is another child to look after, by her explanation, it sounded like she meant she wants someone who is capable of looking after themselves and not some sort of a waster :shrug:

Jamesy 15-05-2015 09:23 AM

This has been overblown completely.

Simply money isn't a priority for her, it's not the first thing she looks for in a man. Although if they happen to have money then that's a bonus, a turn on, it shows that guy will be stable in the long term and therefore safer to be with.

She never said rich, she simply said money.

I really don't see why an issue is being made out of this. When you're an adult, with a child, have bills to pay etc of course someone with money will be a turn on. That's the real world, you need money to live and knowing a partner earns money, has an income, that provides stability.

Most people want a stable relationship one day, and in the real world finances will be a part of that.

Really no issue at all. People seem to just be reading it as money is a turn on = heartless person who has no feeling for you unless you're loaded. It's not, and since half the public will now take it that way Sarah will be evicted early on for no reason.

y.winter 15-05-2015 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by just thinkin (Post 7771290)
I don't think any man or women are gifted with supernatural forces - I didn't hear the girl saying that she wanted to sit back and let a man take care of her. I'm sure she's very capable of doing that for herself and her child already - didn't hear her looking for excuses either to be honest - to me she basically said she's at a time in her life where she's looking for stability and security for her and her child and not some young kid that hasn't grown into responsibility yet - to me she talks a lot of common sense. She's a smart cookie.

So stability and security it is, phrasing it as "money" is wrong from the root.
Money is the sign of $ in bank, not a sign for stability, and I basically refuse to see it like this - looking for a decent and stable guy is what she needs to look for, all good things will follow. Don't confuse...

just thinkin 15-05-2015 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by y.winter (Post 7771302)
So stability and security it is, phrasing it as "money" is wrong from the root.
Money is the sign of $ in bank, not a sign for stability, and I basically refuse to see it like this - looking for a decent and stable guy is what she needs to look for, all good things will follow. Don't confuse...


we'll agree to disagree so y.winter - if you 'refuse' to look at it more openly there's no point. for most people stability and security comes with growing up and taking responsibility which like it or loathe it involves having enough money to do so. I have never seen stability and security without the use of money. If there is a way to do that it should be bottled and given out. :laugh:

Pink Pegasus 15-05-2015 11:03 AM

I'm another person who also think she meant stability and not necessary just somebody rich, and that she may have been taken up wrong.

When herself and Harriet were trying to explain it to Danny, (with Harriet 100% backing what Sarah had said yet nobody criticizes her for it), I really do think she just meant someone who had his own money and who was stable. Herself and Harriet both even clarified to Danny that they didn't mean someone who would give them money, that they would both work to earn their own money and look after themself, but that a partner should also have his own money.

I don't see much wrong with that. She is in 2nd year of her law degree, if she completes it she will hopefully get a good job for herself. She has a 4 year old daughter and if she does get in a relationship with somebody she is looking for it to be a man who is slightly older than some of the young guys in house, who has also worked (like her) to build something of a career for themself.

So basically she is mid twenties with a young child, building her own career and is hopeful that if in a future relationship it will be with a man who also earns his own money. She would find this preferable than a younger lad who is just starting out in life as she would prefer a more stable environment for her child.

That is just the way I understood it anyways, could be wrong?

She didn't say she was looking for a rich man or someone to shower gifts on her.

She didn't say she wanted to be a kept woman, in fact she insisted to Danny that she would earn her own way too.

She was asked a common question in the Big Brother applications about her biggest turn on in a man, and as she explained to Danny she had no interest in starting listing physical attributes such as "ooh big biceps" etc., but unfortunately for her the first thing she said was "money" when I think (from what she later clarified) that she should have just said stability as that seems to be what she meant when she said it.

I don't know anything about her past relationship that fell apart, but she said money wasn't always a concern for her in the past but it is now. Perhaps she has experienced a relationship where she ended up being the sole provider for her daughter due to somebody who was feckless with money or who sponged of her and that this has made her more wary and sure of what she wants for her future?

It doesn't fit in with the idea of "true romance" to consider financial aspects in a potential partner, and it wouldn't be something I am interested in myself. But then again, I don't have any children and maybe I would feel differently if I did.

Regardless, I don't think it was a completely unreasonable or terrible thing for her to say when I take it in the context of her meaning stability.
The poll on this site is 73% to 26% in favour of Sarah after that disagreement so I think other people must feel she just meant stability rather than wealth too.

I didn't vote on poll because the question asks who you prefer after the episode and I can't say I "prefer" either of them at the minute. I think Christian got offended because it hit a very raw nerve for him as his last relationship ended over his lack of money, and I think Sarah got defensive because she felt she was being made to look like a gold-digger when she just meant a stable guy. So the disagreement didn't make me prefer either of them.

I'm giving all the housemates a chance so far. The 2 I disliked on launch I don't mind at all now really. The only one I'm questioning a bit is Danny so far because he called my fav cutie pie Joel fake. :rant: :p

Other housemates have described Sarah as a firecracker, feisty, very snappy, etc., she could turn out to be a megabitch, but I haven't seen anything she's done that has annoyed me yet or anything she did that was mean to others. Her money comment certainly didn't bother me.
And anyways feisty characters often make great entertaining housemates!

So yeah, giving everybody a chance for now. Will see what I think of them more after tonights and further episodes. :)

kolyrad 15-05-2015 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by y.winter (Post 7771237)
I'm not buying what she's trying to sell. It would've been better for her to say that she's turned on by abs and biceps - less shallow than saying that money it is.
Getting pregnant at nineteen with her then-boyfriend, engaging one year later just to make sense of it - I can't appreciate hasty young people (hello buildup to Farrah Abraham on CBB16).
Of curse you need money as a single mom, but you were "enough" adult to get pregnant, so good for you - take responsibility for your actions.
There's no reason for money being the answer, no matter how skint you are.
You can't be victimized by your own words.

She mentioned that they were together for 4 years before they had a child together so I don't think it was a hasty relationship.

I agree that she used the wrong used and really meant stability instead.

Dash Darington 15-05-2015 02:42 PM

The question was "what is your number one turn-on?" Her answer was money. She's tried to back track because of how the answer was received, and many people here are trying to pretend she said something other than what she actually did.

She's followed the well-established pattern of reproducing with the most genetically fit male possible, and then seeking to siphon resources off lesser men to support that child. This is a viable mating strategy. It's in her best interests if she can pull it off, but it will naturally repulse men who are sophisticated enough to understand the arrangement and strong enough to do better for themselves. She's panicked a bit because she realizes men will be put off her if she's that honest about what she's trying to do.

She's a clumsy grifter, which I always prefer to a slick one.

Jemal 15-05-2015 02:44 PM

Lets think of the question and answer here..
She was asked what is your number one turn on and her answer was money. Whatever way you look at it, its kind of a put off.

I like her but she defo tried to backtrack.

Kizzy 15-05-2015 02:53 PM

Helen made her own money... she didn't attempt to marry into it.

y.winter 15-05-2015 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dash Darington (Post 7771885)
The question was "what is your number one turn-on?" Her answer was money. She's tried to back track because of how the answer was received, and many people here are trying to pretend she said something other than what she actually did.

She's followed the well-established pattern of reproducing with the most genetically fit male possible, and then seeking to siphon resources off lesser men to support that child. This is a viable mating strategy. It's in her best interests if she can pull it off, but it will naturally repulse men who are sophisticated enough to understand the arrangement and strong enough to do better for themselves. She's panicked a bit because she realizes men will be put off her if she's that honest about what she's trying to do.

She's a clumsy grifter, which I always prefer to a slick one.

yes, it is what it is!
http://i1.mirror.co.uk/incoming/arti...-672173396.jpg

Brother Leon 15-05-2015 06:35 PM

I'm not a huge fan of people who say they would only date people earning a certain wage when they are not even at that level themselves. It just comes across badly to me. That said, Each to their own. She's entitield to be attracted to what she wants.

My long term girlfriend's family is more wealthy than I will likely ever be, but it's never really been a problem for us.


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