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-   -   High-flying woman barrister who tried to shame solicitor, 57, for praising her looks (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=288140)

Crimson Dynamo 10-09-2015 10:32 AM

High-flying woman barrister who tried to shame solicitor, 57, for praising her looks
 
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/...1820857327.jpghttp://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/...1820866805.jpg
  • She accused male lawyer of sexism for complimenting her LinkedIn photo
  • Married Alex Carter-Silk, 57, told Miss Proudman her picture was 'stunning'


A 57-year-old lawyer was accused of “unacceptable and misogynistic behaviour” after he sent a barrister half his age a LinkedIn message complimenting her on her “stunning picture”.

Alexander Carter-Silk was named and shamed on Twitter by 27-year-old human rights lawyer Charlotte Proudman who posted her reply to the message online.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/COUOyrRWoAAUCBK.jpg:large


He has since apologised for the message, in which he told Ms Proudman he was “delighted to connect”, adding “I appreciate that this is probably horrendously politically incorrect but that is a stunning picture !!!”

The lawyer, a partner at international firm Brown Rudnick continued: “You definitely win the prize for the best Linked in picture I have ever seen
“Always interest [sic] to understant [sic] people’s skills and how we might work together”.

Her response, which prompted praise on social media, read: “I am on linked-in for business purposes not to be approached about my physical appearance or to be objectified by sexist men.

“The eroticisation of women’s physical appearance is a way of exercising power over women. It silences women’s professional attributes as their physical appearance becomes the subject

“Unacceptable and misogynistic behaviour. Think twice before sending another woman (half your age) such a sexist message.”
Ms Proudman said she had received similar messages about her appearance before, although not from anyone as senior as Mr Carter-Silk. Unlike her male peers, the barrister said she has never received a job offer through the professional networking site.

__________________________________________________ ________


Was she right or was it that he wasnt attractive enough or useful enough to take the compliment?

MTVN 10-09-2015 10:38 AM

She seems to be relishing the attention of having herself plastered all over the internet and she's now written an article on the Independent website about what a hero she is for 'speaking out for all women'. It's now become a circus of her own making which she is indulging. It's a bit of an inappropriate comment by the guy but it's hardly the massive affront she's making it out to be.

kirklancaster 10-09-2015 10:39 AM

Much Ado About Nothing.

Livia 10-09-2015 10:45 AM

Attention seeker.

I would not have been offended by that message. Maybe it's not politically correct, but it wasn't misogynistic and it did not touch on "eroticism", so why she implied that it did I can only assume is that she is trying to make an issue where there is none.

I like a compliment, who doesn't. If he's said "great tits" or "really nice arse" it would be been unacceptable... but he didn't. If she found it unacceptable, she should have told him and moved on instead of creating a massive brouhaha. This woman says she's speaking out for women. Well, she doesn't speak for me.

lostalex 10-09-2015 10:48 AM

Would he have complimented a man and commented on his physical appearance in the same way? if not then she is totally right to call him out.

she kinda looks like Rachel from Orphan Black..

Niamh. 10-09-2015 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia (Post 8131074)
Attention seeker.

I would not have been offended by that message. Maybe it's not politically correct, but it wasn't misogynistic and it did not touch on "eroticism", so why she implied that it did I can only assume is that she is trying to make an issue where there is none.

I like a compliment, who doesn't. If he's said "great tits" or "really nice arse" it would be been unacceptable... but he didn't. If she found it unacceptable, she should have told him and moved on instead of creating a massive brouhaha. This woman says she's speaking out for women. Well, she doesn't speak for me.

He probably would have if you could have seen them in the picture :smug:


but yeah, I think it was inappropriate in a business setting to make comments like that on a persons appearance, sure a compliment is nice but there's a time and a place

Kizzy 10-09-2015 10:51 AM

It was a silly sexist message to post on her linked in, what was he thinking?

MTVN 10-09-2015 10:53 AM

They do say that linkedin is basically a dating website these days

Livia 10-09-2015 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh. (Post 8131096)
He probably would have if you could have seen them in the picture :smug:


but yeah, I think it was inappropriate in a business setting to make comments like that on a persons appearance, sure a compliment is nice but there's a time and a place

It wasn't appropriate... but her reaction was disproportionate to it's appropriateness. Her reply to him should have been enough instead of ridiculing him in public.

Livia 10-09-2015 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MTVN (Post 8131101)
They do say that linkedin is basically a dating website these days

Yeah, LOL... I know a couple of who got together on linkedin.

Niamh. 10-09-2015 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia (Post 8131107)
It wasn't appropriate... but her reaction was disproportionate to it's appropriateness. Her reply to him should have been enough instead of ridiculing him in public.

true enough

Crimson Dynamo 10-09-2015 11:06 AM

to be fair she should have made a full body pic and then we could at least see her tits and arse

My intuition says they would be good.



But I bet if the guy had been 28 and as fit as a butchers dog and a lawyer she would have been all .....:fan:

Niamh. 10-09-2015 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet (Post 8131125)
to be fair she should have made a full body pic and then we could at least see her tits and arse

My intuition says they would be good.



But I bet if the guy had been 28 and as fit as a butchers dog and a lawyer she would have been all .....:fan:

I doubt it tbh

lostalex 10-09-2015 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet (Post 8131125)
to be fair she should have made a full body pic and then we could at least see her tits and arse

My intuition says they would be good.



But I bet if the guy had been 28 and as fit as a butchers dog and a lawyer she would have been all .....:fan:

but he wasn't, so how is that relevant?

If a guy was being harassed online by a gay guy and he got offended, you could just as easily say "if it was a hot 18 y/o female with a perfect body he wouldn't mind"... so what?

rubymoo 10-09-2015 11:15 AM

After her reaction to being given a compliment, i bet she could remove a mans genitalia with a flick of her eye lashes!

Yes i think he stepped over the line, but she could have graciously received the compliment, it seems everything has to be a big thing nowadays:idc:

lostalex 10-09-2015 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rubymoo (Post 8131138)
After her reaction to being given a compliment, i bet she could remove a mans genitalia with a flick of her eye lashes!

Yes i think he stepped over the line, but she could have graciously received the compliment, it seems everything has to be a big thing nowadays:idc:

maybe instead of blaming the person reacting to someone being stupid, we should just blame the person being stupid.

Newsflash everyone... stop doing stupid things!

rubymoo 10-09-2015 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostalex (Post 8131140)
maybe instead of blaming the person reacting to someone being stupid, we should just blame the person being stupid.

Newsflash everyone... stop doing stupid things!

We all do stupid things:laugh:that's what makes us human.

Kizzy 10-09-2015 11:27 AM

I wonder how many times she's been propositioned by some stuffed suit, maybe it was just one too many?

Cherie 10-09-2015 11:30 AM

Completely inappropriate if this were an older female on a young guy and he called her out there would be applause all round, it's a professional site so keep it that way

user104658 10-09-2015 11:31 AM

"You definitely win the prize for best linkedin picture I have ever seen"

...Note to self: Linked-In is not a very good dating resource.




Being serious though... no it was not appropriate for him to be sending messages like that, and it's also more than a little bit... err... sad. Guy's a sad-sack. Boo hoo.

On the other hand, it's not really a case of either "she should accept the compliment" or "how she responded was fine". She could have told him - firmly, politely, but discreetly - that he was being an inappropriate greasy creeper and hopefully he would have gotten the message. She didn't really need to go full nuclear on him, and it certainly didn't all need to be made public...

Cherie 10-09-2015 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier (Post 8131156)
"You definitely win the prize for best linkedin picture I have ever seen"

...Note to self: Linked-In is not a very good dating resource.




Being serious though... no it was not appropriate for him to be sending messages like that, and it's also more than a little bit... err... sad. Guy's a sad-sack. Boo hoo.

On the other hand, it's not really a case of either "she should accept the compliment" or "how she responded was fine". She could have told him - firmly, politely, but discreetly - that he was being an inappropriate greasy creeper and hopefully he would have gotten the message. She didn't really need to go full nuclear on him, and it certainly didn't all need to be made public...

As Kizzy says maybe it was the final straw?

Tom4784 10-09-2015 11:38 AM

Inappropriate but she should have just dealt with it privately, by going public in such an opportunistic fashion she has sadly cheapened any valid points she may have had.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie (Post 8131157)
As Kizzy says maybe it was the final straw?

Maybes don't make for compelling arguments.

Cherie 10-09-2015 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dezzy (Post 8131162)
Inappropriate but she should have just dealt with it privately, by going public in such an opportunistic fashion she has sadly cheapened any valid points she may have had.



Maybes don't make for compelling arguments.

Whatever made her react she was completely within her rights, receiving a message from a complete stranger is creepy she did right to nip it in the bud and also by broadcasting it, she has effectively ensured no one else will be approached in that way, male or female :clap1:

Kizzy 10-09-2015 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dezzy (Post 8131162)



Maybes don't make for compelling arguments.

We don't know her so we can't know her reasoning can we? :/

She could be a ball breaker she could also be the victim of years of sexual harassment, who knows...
Waiting for #pervshaming to be a 'thing'.

Tom4784 10-09-2015 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie (Post 8131164)
Whatever made her react she was completely within her rights, receiving a message from a complete stranger is creepy she did right to nip it in the bud and also by broadcasting it, she has effectively ensured no one else will be approached in that way, male or female :clap1:

Such naïveté.

I never said she wasn't within her rights to nip it in the bud so I'm not sure what you've been reading to suggest I haven't but nothing she has done since will benefit anyone in her situation, she's took the opportunity to make some money from it and that's all.


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