Can you be gay & homophobic at the same time?
 

The reason I say this is because there's this guy on Facebook who is gay, but he's such a puzzle because he's so aggressive towards other gays and uses homophobic language to describe them. He treats them like crap, pretty much, and I just don't really understand it.

Is it just a defence mechanism or something? Or maybe he's just overly passionate about how gay people *should* be more like him. It's really annoying me though.

Yes you can. Internalised homophobia is a known thing especially within closeted gay people

Of course you can.

Tbh I think I have tendencies of it.

Yeah I've noticed that. It's so weird though! Like there was this guy who I went to school with who absolutely hated my other openly gay friend, and was always homophobic towards him behind his back and felt very uncomfortable sitting near him. Then he turned up at my graduation four years later with his boyfriend!

I'm so going to research this. I'm a psychology freak. :laugh:

Yeah, a lot of gays really annoy me.

Yeah sure look at Emin.....

But really yeah you can I wouldn't say I'm homophobic but overly camp people annoy me. It's a reason why I avoid the gay scene.

I annoy myself when I see myself on video

I can't stand feminine gays. Is that homophobic?

some gays are self hating and have to hate on anything they consider to be "too gay"... also you have the typical belongs on grindr with both "discreet" and "straight acting" perched in the bio :yuk:
not sure if i would call it homophobic tho...

Terms like 'Homophobia' and 'Racism' and 'Sexism' etc etc are waaaaay too overused these days. It makes genuine cases go unnoticed, because someone made one tiny little comment that isn't the most PC.

I say that you're only homophobic, racist, sexist, Xist, if you constantly preach your dislike of someone, based on that one reason.

Anyone can be homophobic. Anyone can be racist. Anyone can be sexist. There's HUGE difference between that, and the one comment though. There are so many people out there who will literally jump at the chance to call someone Xist, because it's not something anyone wants to be. I hate that. You can call someone whatever you like, but don't label them with something like Xist, just because you've heard ONE opinion off of them.

When people throw insults around like 'You're so Xist!!!' it sometimes does more damage than good. It's an insult to people who have suffered true Xism.

Obviously if someone has an opinion like 'PEOPLE WHO ARE X SHOULD DIE' etc etc, then yeah, call them whatever. But when someone says something like 'I hate when gay people do X' then plz... just don't call them homophobic

(hope that made sense. I'm so hungover)

-was confused what xist meant until the last line-

-rereads-

:clap1::clap1::clap1: Superb post - hungover or not. :laugh:

I don't go to pride because I would feel uncomfortable because that's not who I am. I'm not ashamed I just don't feel like I associate with that scene. That might change though.

Yeah I went to pride for a night. Not my thing at all.

lmao Its just easier than typing out racist/sexist/ageist or whatever every time. by X I mean anything... so any of those examples above, if you get me

I used to drag gays to others behind their back before I came out saying stuff like 'its wrong', i didnt mean it obviously, but it was because i wasnt here for being one but im now comfortable and dont care who knows

Only the ones who hate themselves can be homophobic, other gays who accept themselves and love themselves for who they are can't be homophobic imo, judgemental and biased yes, but not homophobic, I'm not a big fan of extremely camp gays, does that make me homophobic? No.

I live for the camp gays <3

idgaf if you're butch or camp, masc or femme, whatever. If you're a decent human being then it shouldn't matter.

From my experience, observations and knowledge from media...


I dont think its homophobia - its a differnt kind of ignorance/narrow-mindedness. I think within the gay community there is a presence of fear with associated stigmatization. Gay men who identify more as masculine (e.g. deep voice, toned bodies, enjoy non-camp activities), "straight-acting", as opposed to identifying more as feminine (e.g. squeaky voice, overly groomed, enjoy camp activities) fear being associated as the latter when they "come out".

Similarly, feminine gays resent other feminine gays
a. for being the same sexuality but not sexually appealing
b. by relating with them and self-resenting
c. through fear that society accepts gay couples where both partners are feminine/feminine least as opposed to masculine/feminine and moreso masculine/masculine couples

can a woman be sexist?
can a black be racist?
can a fat person be disgusted by other fat people?
can an american be anti-american?
can a politician hate the government?

yes.

Russell Tovey vibes.

In all seriousness, you can, however I'm lucky not to be so stupid to be homophobic :p

I think white gay males can probably be the most prejudiced group around. The sheer volume of people who're so openly discriminative under the name of kinks or types is a little bit alarming, and the whole "no fems" thing you see so often just irks me, even if I can understand why it'd play into gender identities we carry in our heads.

A lot of it is internalised homophobia I think - a kind of bargaining that gays who identify themselves as "masculine" will use on themselves as if to say "Yeah I'm gay... but look, guys, I'm not that gay" *points at picture of Louie Spence* And it's hard to see that and not think it as homophobic. And sexist, really, as though effeminacy is beneath them or weak. Jords put it well. I just think the community (I'm not saying LGBT community because I can't speak for the L or T, as much as the G likes to) compartmentalises itself too much and plays off against each other as if they're commodities in a store rather than a group. But then, wanting all gay people to share the same beliefs is obviously naive.

I'm also still conflicted about using the word fag colloquially. That's definitely a context issue rather than an out-and-out social one though.

What a load of bull.

The only people i see typing "no fems" are Fem guys!! they are the ones that only want masculine guys and bitch about other feminine guys not being attractive.

And do you honestly think that straight men don't prefer feminine women over masculine women? so why is it okay for straight men to want feminine women, but it's not okay for gay men to want masculine men?

Gay men preferring masculine men is not homophobic in any sense of the word. because being feminine has NOTHING to do with being gay. so how is that homophobic?

And you bringing race into it, i'm not even gonna bother with that nonsense. You make no points at all that make any sense. i can't even tell you the number of times i;ve heard straight blacks say they only want to marry another black person, or a straight jewish person say they would only marry another jew. but for a white gay man to want to marry another white man, he's racist? kiss my hairy white ass.