ThisisBigBrother.com - UK TV Forums - Some Christmas Advice from Novo

1) Safe sex is a must this Christmas so I advice members such as Harry, Jarrod, Jords and Mock to wear protection if they don't want to get their missus up the duff and always remember to pull out no funny business like trying to say you had forgotten

2) Mentioned this one to Drew before and I can't emphasise enough the importance of pretending you are Bugeyes Ozil when you are stuffing a Turkey, nice and smooth silky and all you have to do is pretend Theo is making a Run into the box and then slide a through ball into his path and he will do the rest for you

3) if you have brought **** presents for your siblings i suggest you replace the tags on the presents with your parents one and it all ways works a treat come morning time

4) Make sure to buy The Princess Bride on DVD and get it set up for the afternoon when the family come over, its all an all time Christmas Cracker that is sure to entertain and bring a tear to many eyes in the room

5) get Sky 363 on in the morning and have a good sing along whilst wearing your Christmas hat and preparing the food

6) instead of praying to Jesus before Dinner were going to mix it up this year and pray for purdy as he enters a dark era as a supporter of Liverpool , I suggest you spare as few prayers just for him tomorrow as well

7) get drinking a few tonight so tomorrow you can be a bit hungover and get out of doing the Christmas Dinner if you can't be assed with it

8) Vegetarians I suggest you give up being a vegetarian for tomorrow and just enjoy the taste of meat and bin that nut roast asap, you will never enjoy Christmas properly otherwise