Anyone ever been "Ghosted"?
 

This is when in a relationship or friendship, one of them breaks off contact with no word or indication as to why. They just simply stop communication etc. It's an extremely spineless way of ending a relationship or friendship.

I've had it a few times. One was a friendship of 10 years, in that time I had seen her do it to other people but she was close to me so I didn't even imagine she would do it to me, but one day I noticed she hadn't replied any texts, sent a FB message, no reply even though she had seen it. Weird thing is that no disputes/arguments/disagreements or anything happened, so I didn't rack my brains as to what I did because I know she doesn't like confrontation. But it's completely mental and doggy, at any rate.

The other time was with a workmate, we were close as friends at work, one night he had a slight argument with another co-worker and as an in between person I thought I could provide the other person's perspective in a normal, calm way. The next day he ignored me when I first said hi, then said it sharply when I repeated my greeting. He never made eye-contact with me again after that or spoke to me. I can't imagine what I did wrong but ok.

With another, closer mate workmate after his contract ended, I invited him out for a night out but it was raining so he cancelled soon before it was to happen. Fair enough, I didn't show much annoyance. Later that year I invited him to my birthday night out - completely blanked through text. A couple of times I've seen him on the street or in clubs and he'll very obviously see me but look away. Again, no arguments or BS so I can't blame myself for anything even if I wanted to because nothing of any sort actually happened.

So, anyone had this happen to them? Or have you ever been undignified and slimy enough to do it to anyone else? If so... why?

I got ghosted a year ago by an amazing friend, she didn't delete me anywhere, just completely stopped communication, I just deleted her off everything last week when I finally made peace with never having a friendship with her again. :(

"It's an extremely spineless way of ending a relationship or friendship."


Yes Evil
infact

Yeah I have actually. Being the needy mess that I can sometimes be I went through a period of wanting to still make an effort to salvage things (even though that shouldn't really be my job) but I recently just decided that I can't be arsed. I have other friends who do actually appreciate me so why waste time on those who clearly don't?

One in particular for some reason decided to not invite me to her wedding, and like the doormat that I sometimes am I still sent her a message wishing her a good day on the morning. (Although I think part of me was trying to guilt trip her a tad there :whistle:).

Nearly everyone from school and college

Probably more my fault than theirs

Yeah and I've Ghosted people too

That's like my worst fear and no I haven't or have done

I asked why? :)

no comment

Lots of times! Particularly when you go from primary to secondary school though, major ghosting goes on!

i do it as i am not very good at friendships

dont take it personally

Yeah, but I'm sure they had very good reason for it.

Yes absolutely, on both sides. I think a lot of it stems from just plain awkwardness really. I've made peace with it a long time ago, I think it can be really upsetting when you're younger because it makes you question your self worth but I think now that I'm in my mid-20s I've accepted that people will do it to you and you will do it to people and regardless of which end you're on, it's clearly for the best if one or both of you doesn't want to put effort into the friendship/relationship anymore.

But if someone's proper messaging you and trying to make it work, why not have the tact to at least tell them why you don't want to be their friend instead of slyly blanking their messages?

Yeah, one girl I was friends with from when we were teenagers, she'd kind of done it to me once before and then we started being friends again and then she did it to me a year later again just started ignoring my texts etc this time I'd reached a point in my life where I don't tolerate people treating me like s**t so i decided that that was it. A couple of years ago one of my other friends bumped into her and she told told her that she'd moved to Canada and lost my number (because there's no other way of contacting a person nowadays lol) so my friend gave her my number and she texted me. I'm not rude so I did reply but I made sure I replied with no open ended questions and just kind of wished her well and good bye :laugh:

It's never been where people have messaged me and I've completely ignored. Friendships have faded and I haven't done anything to fix them.

I was ghosted royally, my ex moved out while I was on holiday with my sister when I was 24 and pregnant. No indication, he was fine the night before rang and had a chat on the phone ..next night no answer... next night he answered and he said he'd left me for someone else, it was a bad time as I'd lost my lovely dad 3 months earlier to cancer.
It instantly switched any feelings I had for him off though, as he just wasn't the person I though he was for 6 years so it made it easier in a way.
He did ask to come back when his relationship failed, he had been a rubbish partner and a rubbish dad so I said no. He hasn't seen the kids, sent them a birthday or Christmas present in 16 years.

D:

Scumbag

That's horrible. I really get what you mean about him not being the person you thought he was for so long but fair dues to you for being so strong and standing your ground when he decided he wanted to come back

Oh, well that's not ghosting, so no harm done. :)
It's so scary to think you know someone but you just don't... =/