No Garys left in Britain by 2050
 

GARYS could be wiped out within a generation after it emerged there have been no children named Gary since 1992.

Once common across Britain, experts believe the country could be at ‘zero Gary’ by the year 2050.

Tom Logan, a Gary campaigner, said: “Thirty years ago our playgrounds were teeming with Garys. Simple, straightforward boys who just wanted to be radio DJs.

“But they have been driven out by Kyles, Noahs, Jordans and Masons. Foreign sounding names for suspicious, unreliable children.”

Logan, who tours maternity hospitals promoting the name Gary, said: “We’ve already lost Alan, the last Ken is living in a shed in Farnborough and the Lees that were once at every party claiming they knew martial arts are increasingly rare.

“Please, name your baby Gary. He’ll grow into it.”

In other shocking news, all the current Gary's are being culled at age 58 a la Logans Run D:

He's even called 'Logan' D:
He has far too much free time tbh

The U.K. Life expectancy is 58 now?

There is literally someone called Gary in my maths so this story is trash

Its much lower in Glasgow

This is false

I went to school with a Gary

Baby Gary, straight out the womb and becomes a bald taxi driver, with a Hibs tattoo on his left arse cheek

Lmao I thought of that tweet as soon as I saw the title :joker:

Exposè!!!

I have a nephew called Lee who knows martial arts :nono:

Scottish Twitter is the best

I keep reading this as "No Gays left in Britain"

This is what I first saw too :joker:

:joker:

I keep reading that too


:fc:

A mess @ the site this is from http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/s...-2015030696029

The story next to it is better :joker:

Wenger quits to become tortoise
http://i2.wp.com/www.thedailymash.co...engtort425.jpg

ARSENAL manager Arsene Wenger has given up football in order to become a tortoise, it has emerged.

The Frenchman made the announcement in an airing cupboard at the Gunners’ London Colney training ground: “Football is too much hurly burly and the weather does not suit me. I have long called for a winter break.

“Now I am going to have one, in a nice box filled with fresh straw. Over time I will grow a shell and my hands will become paw-like scaly things with little claws.

“Please remember to leave me water and food in case I wake up early. We don’t want a repeat of that horrible business with Frida off of Blue Peter.”

Frenchman has become increasingly slow-moving in recent years, and more prone to falling asleep under heat lamps and trying to mount lumps of tree bark.

The last football manager who quit and become a tortoise was former Aston Villa boss Ron Saunders in 1987. However Saunders was unavailable for comment due to being in the middle of having his name painted on his shell.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/...20160302106756

Ha ha ha ... clearly a quality press outlet :joker:

But there will be a Gary still in Bikini Bottom by 2050 right?

..the best Gary ever..:lovedup:..


https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...6daecd96ff.jpg

:joker: