Would you rather your partner...
 

Poll coming

1. Admitted to having feelings for another person
or
2. Admitted to having sex with another person

Basically I was thinking to myself how distraught i'd feel if my partner were to tell me they had feelings for another girl. And then I realised that i'd actually much rather he told me he had sex with another girl. Like I could actually forgive him if he cheated physically, but not if he cheated emotionally.

To clarify:
If you choose option 1: Your partner just has feelings for another person, they haven't actually acted on those feelings.
If you choose option 2: Your partner has no feelings for the person they slept with, it was just sex, it didn't mean anything.

I don't think someone merely having feelings for someone else means they've "cheated emotionally".

But I'd rather they admitted to having feelings. You can't control how you feel but you can control what you do, and if they tell you that they've developed feelings for someone else then they clearly still respect and care for you enough to be honest instead of being unfaithful and you can then end things amicably.

I could never forgive him if he cheated physically! I mean, doesn't everyone cheat emotionally in some way, like when you see another good looking person and you think "the things I'd let you do to me"? :shrug:

You can't control how you feel, but you can control who you sleep with. So with that in mind I think I'd feel less betrayed and hurt by Option 1 than I would Option 2.

Yeah but if they're with you and they're thinking about someone else because they have romantic feelings for this other person, surely that's emotionally cheating? If not, what is?

True, some wise words there.
But the thought of another girl stealing my man's heart is more damaging to me than another girl stealing my man's body for a night, if that makes sense. I think that stems from me being super insecure though.

See I don't see that as emotional cheating, because like you say everyone has those sort of thoughts where they desire somebody else, but that's based on their looks alone, not their personality. Where as emotional cheating = they enjoy spending time with them, they enjoy their personality, they make them laugh, etc.

To be honest, I think cheating has to involve someone actually acting on their feelings. If they're not, they're not cheating in my eyes. The only situation I'd actually believe emotional cheating even exists would be if they're telling the other person how they feel and how much they love them etc. If they have feelings for someone but they're not acting on them in any way, I can't see how they're cheating in any form.

For me, it's all about respect. If someone I was with fell for someone else I'd of course be heartbroken but if they showed me enough respect to tell me instead of going behind my back, I couldn't hold that against them.

I'd rather I had a partner in the first place

Slept with someone else I guess
I wouldn't forgive any kind of cheating though

Physically seems less worse since it can be put down to them being foolish (and horny) Emotionally probably means they would rather be with that person than you, so yeah I'd say physical

2

Neither, if he had feeling for someone else but wasn't planning on acting on it, why tell you?


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I'd dump him either way tbh

:bawling:

I'd feel heartbroken either way :(

Emotionally, but I'd get rid either way

I would rather he remained the lovely loyal faithful fella who only has eyes for me. :lovedup: