Family Planning
 

Don't shout at me for this one.....blame OH who sent it to me!


After having their 11th child, a Scouse couple decided that enough was enough,
as they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would
solve the problem but there was an 18 month waiting list to have it done on the NHS.

The man knew this would be too long, and that they would by then have their twelth child and possibly be on their way to the thirteenth.

He asked the doctor if there was any other way, and was told he could go private to have it done but it was expensive.

The man told him that there was absolutely no way they could afford this.

The doctor then suggested a less costly alternative:

to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Scouser replied;

"Look Doctor, I may not be the smartest bloke in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me, it will do the job," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can.

He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5..............." at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.


NB This procedure also works in Manchester, Birmingham, Coventry, Newcastle and absolutely anywhere in Wales


(Ducks and rapidly leaves the thread)

Love it, ROB. So glad you didn't mention Scotland. :laugh::laugh::laugh:

Well done ROB - it sure is a new way to deal with the question of family planning.

Glad to see you didnt include Bristol in your list - might get to be a granny yet!:thumbs::joker:

One of your best RoB!! But missing out the whole of Scotchland I realise was an oversight, since they would have held the tin in their teeth so as not to spill any McEwans...........................:colour:

:shocked: :mad: :shocked:

You're treading on dangerous ground now, Splodge!!!!! :nono:

:colour:

moi?

Aye - you, Jimmy! :laugh:

I think Mairi's going to be having some stern words with you later. :shocked:

And you sorted out my penguin.......awww:love::love::love::love:

:shocked:PARDON !:shocked:


There's just NO answer to that ........!

:joker:

Splodge0, Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid!!!

http://www.smilies.org/basesmilies3/pinguin2.gif:colour:http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/mica/shk.gif

Do you think I should delete his penguins as a punishment, Mairi?

http://www.smilies.org/basesmilies3/pinguin2.gif

:laugh:

:bawling::bawling::bawling::bawling::bawling::bawl ing::bawling::bawling::bawling::bawling::bawling:: bawling::bawling::bawling::bawling::bawling:
:bawling::bawling::bawling::bawling::bawling::bawl ing::bawling::bawling::bawling::bawling::bawling:: bawling::bawling::bawling::bawling::bawling:

Oh for heaven sake....... :bawli ng:?????????????????

What's the matter Splodge?

You've still got your penguins!


http://monyscurry.tripod.com/anim-peng.gif

Well said, ROB. :thumbs:

Stop snivelling at once, Splodge . . . . . or I might change my mind. . . . . . . . .

:devil: :love:

But :bawli ng:????????????

What am I doing wrong, Kaz??

Just one :bawling: too many without a space between them, I think Splodge.

Now dry your tears, there's a good chap. Your penguins have a reprieve - I promise . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . for now, anyway! :laugh: