| Headie |
14-08-2016 01:09 PM |
"Big Brother ruined my life" says BB12 housemate Alex Lee
Quote:
Former Barbie wannabe Alex Lee had a £60k makeover after watching herself back and show fans said she looked like a transvestite
https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/...3272.jpg?w=709
Despite splashing tens of thousands on her looks, Alex still says she feels ugly
SCROLLING through the comments, I couldn’t believe how cruel people could be.
‘She looks like a transvestite,’ one said, while another declared: ‘She’s so ugly.’
They were such hurtful things to write – and they were referring to me.
Until then, I’d always been super-confident.
I never had any body image issues, even when I developed my 32F boobs at just 12.
With my tiny waist, I had a lovely size-12 hourglass figure in my teens and began modelling myself on Barbie, dying my long brown hair peroxide-blonde and filling my wardrobe with pink clothes.
I loved how I looked.
When I was 18, I got a job as cabin crew for an airline, but gave it up when I was selected to go on Big Brother in September 2011.
I’d been a massive fan of the show, so couldn’t wait to take part, and didn’t spare a thought about how I’d look on TV.
When I entered the house, I was thrown by how gorgeous the seven other girls were, but I shrugged it off, thinking that must have been why I was picked, too.
Right from the off, I forgot about the cameras and threw myself into the experience, loving every minute.
On the penultimate day, I won £30,000 in a task, which was more money than I’d ever dreamed of.
I managed to reach the final three, and when I left the house in November, I felt awesome.
Back in the real world, I was treated like a celebrity – people stopped me in the street to say how much they’d liked watching me.
It took a couple of months for life to calm down and it was only then I watched footage of the show.
My excitement soon faded to horror.
At the time I thought I was girlie and glam, but watching it back I saw myself as ugly, overweight and disgustingly tacky in head-to-toe pink.
I was mortified and cancelled all public appearances. I even stopped going out.
Instead, I stayed in to read the comments about me online.
There were more positive ones than negative – people said I was lovely and had been entertaining – but I focused on all the horrible comments about my looks. I felt such a laughing stock.
My confidence crashed, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone why – not even my family or boyfriend.
Instead, I decided to spend my £30,000 winnings plus earnings from interviews and appearances overhauling my look.
I started with lip fillers in August 2012, as seeing myself on TV I thought my lips were thin and ugly.
I’d never considered cosmetic procedures before, but at the time it seemed like my only option.
As I booked an appointment at a Harley Street clinic, I wasn’t scared – I figured they couldn’t make me look any worse.
At first, they did lift my confidence. But after a few weeks, I began finding more faults.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/...6306.jpg?w=960
In March 2013, I had my eyebrows and lips tattooed.
Then came facial fillers, Botox and top-of-the-range hair extensions.
In July 2013, I had liposuction on my tummy.
I threw out all my Primark clothes and bought designer stuff from Chanel and Louboutin – all in black as I couldn’t stand pink any more.
My boyfriend asked me why I was doing it as I was beautiful already, but I ignored him.
In the end, he couldn’t bear to see me put myself through all that surgery, and we split up in October 2014.
Of course, my winnings didn’t last forever, so I went back to my job as cabin crew last summer.
As I look so different from when I was on Big Brother, no one recognises me, which I’m glad about.
Although I was trying to fix my broken self-esteem, the more plastic surgery I’ve had, the less confident I’ve become.
The bright, bubbly girl I used to be vanished, and I’ve been left feeling broken.
A year ago, after telling my GP how ugly I felt when I looked in the mirror, I was diagnosed with body dysmorphia and referred for therapy to help me learn to believe in myself.
But I still feel like I have to get hair extensions and fillers – it’s like I’m being injected with confidence.
However, it soon wears off and I need regular self-esteem top-ups.
Last November, I had a chin reconstruction, while this year I’ve already had a nose job to fix a tiny bump.
I’ve also had filler in the marionette lines around my mouth and in my nasal folds.
I’m currently planning my next procedure.
I’d like to say it will be my last, but I said that after my very first lip filler.
I am trying to move forward and focus on other ways to be happy, but it’s hard.
Even when someone tells me I’m beautiful, like my mum, Michelle, 52, who says it all the time, I think they’re making fun of me.
While I loved Big Brother, I had no idea that going on the show could wreck my self-esteem.
I think that if I hadn’t done it, I’d still be happy and wouldn’t have put myself under such scrutiny.
I look back and can’t believe how confident I was then.
I’d do anything to feel like that now.”
Alex’s BB Blowout
Lip fillers: £6,000
Cheek fillers: £6,000
Liposuction: £3,000
Botox: £3,000
Marionette lines: £250
Nasal folds: £250
Nose job: £5,000
Chin construction: £4,000
Hair extensions: £9,000
Designer clothes: £30,000
Total: £66,500
Despite all the work she’s had done, Alex still feels ‘ugly’ and has been diagnosed with body dysmorphia
https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/1579...-transvestite/
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