Things never to say during sex...
 

• Is it in yet?
• (phone rings) Hello? Oh, nothing, and you?
• Do I have to pay for this?
• You look better in the dark.
• I thought that goes in the other hole...
• Hey! My mom has that same bra...
• I hope you don't expect a raise for this...
• Hurry up, the game is about to start.
• I've smoked bigger joints than that!
• ZzZzZz
• Are you trying to be funny?
• Can I have a ride home after this?
• Are those real?
• Is that smell coming from you?
• Haven't you ever done this before?
• Do you know what some female spiders do after sex?
• You're so much like your sister....
• Your mom is really cute.
• What's your name again?
• Do I have to be here in the morning?
• A second time? I barely stayed awake the first time!
• But you just started!
• Don't touch that!
• Smile for the camera, honey!
• Get your hand out of there!
• I knew you wore a padded bra!
• Cover me boys, I'm going in!
• Hold on, let me change the channel...
• Hope you don't mind I left my boots on.
• Hurry up, the motor's runnin'.
• Stop breathing...you're fogging up the wind-shield.
• Stop interrupting me!
• It's okay, honey, I can imagine that it's bigger.
• God, I wish you were a real woman.
• Why can't you ever shave your legs?
• Your "happy trail" led me to a dead end.
• Don't make that face at me!
• How much do I owe you?
• How come we each have a penis?
• Just use your finger, its bigger.
• Does your family have to watch?
• We'll try again later when you can satisfy me too.
• Get off me, I'll do it myself!
• Can you hold this sandwich for me?
• Watch...my mom taught me this...
• Damn girl! My tits are bigger than yours!
• Should I ask why you're bleeding?
• I haven't had this much sex since I was a hooker!
• Wanna see me take out my glass eye?
• Is it okay if I tell my friends about this?
• I'm sobering up and you're getting ugly!
• You wanted me to use a condom?
• Fire in the hole!
• I wanna see how many quarters I can fit in there.
• I'm out of condoms, can I use a sock?
• Don't squirm, you'll spill my beer.
• You don't sweat much for a fat chick
• Did I tell you where my cold sore came from?
• Is that your chest or an ironing board?
• Do you have a license for that?
• No, the blindfold is for me. The handcuffs are for you.
• Can you wash that real quick?
• Did you just **** on my leg?
• Stop playing. That was just a warm-up, right?
• Beige. We should paint the ceiling beige.
• WHAT?! I wouldn't even eat your cooking!
• Wow...that rash cream really worked!
• Look...shadow puppets!
• Do you mind if I start without you?
• No, I don't think 'naked' is your look.
• NEXT!!
• Does this come with instructions?
• You want me to go where?!
• Is it supposed to be that color?

PMSL!!

Thanks Linda, I will umm.. take note!:hugesmile:

Pmsl at the first one:laugh2:

Lmao!Some of them are hysterical!

I have to admit.... i've had to say that once...... needless to say...... I didnt see him again :whistle:

I never heard you say that kizwiz

"How come we each have a penis?" <--my favourite one.. I was PMSL at that one!

Not at you my darling......... :wink: a long long time ago

LMAO. some of them are just lol

• Just use your finger, its bigger.

LOL.

lmfao their really funny

*True Story*

A friend of mine pulled a girl and had sex with her in his car. He put some music on to set the mood. They got down to it and, naturally, he thought it was going well. He finished and she said 'You're left speakers not working'. Not surprisingly he was crushed.

*True Story*

LMAO thanks for those Linda.... They made me laugh. :bigsmile:

"A friend of mine" - Sssuuuuuuree. :whistle:

LOL I should expect that from you. Think what you want to think no woman would ever be concentrating on the music if I was sexing her up.

Don't you think the story was funny? She tells him that his speakers ere not working. It cracked me up when I first heard about it.:whistle:

lmfao Linda you always no how to give us a little help
lol

That made me laugh so m,uch :D

Haha yeah it's pretty funny.

I don't know why he told you it though :laugh: Wouldn't he be too ashamed?

Yeah, I do feel sorry for "your friend" *wink*

LMFAO! PMSL! thats made me laugh to hard!

Linda, I love 'em.

How many have you said then Lindy lol?

Um.. this one for a start:

"• Damn girl! My tits are bigger than yours!"

:wink:

His friend told us in confidence. He doesn't know we know.

Lmao just use your finger it's bigger, how insulting would that be :laugh2:

omg how embarrasing are they :bigsmile:

haha! :laugh2: