Jake's Horror Film Review Thread
 

So I've started getting into horrors again and I've decided to do short reviews of the ones I watch! Atm I'm pretty antisocial so it might be updated weekly, but we'll have to see :laugh:

First up from last week, Don't Breathe & Lights Out :pipe:

(please be aware of spoilers etc!)

(Warning - Spoilers Ahead!)

21/01/2017

Don't Breathe (2016)

A home invasion with a game changing difference: the "victim" is blind. In an age filled with "torture porn" and shakey hand-held footage based films, once in a blue moon comes something which really shakes things up.

Three burglars break into the home of an Army veteran in the aim of stealing $300,000. It sounds like an easy enough task given that the man has lost his sight. It's one last job which will give them enough money to move on from the business. However, things do not go as planned as they learn that they are very unprepared for the man they are dealing with.

Filled to brim with twists and turns, enough (but not too much) gore to sink your teeth into and most of all, plenty of toe-curling suspense, this is exactly what you need if you require thrills that modern day horrors cannot fulfill. You might srart off not caring for the characters, understandably, but the dread you feel is undeniable and you yourself will feel the panic.

Rating - 8/10


Lights Out (2016)

I was half annoyed after finishing this that I'd watched Don't Breathe before it. Perhaps it had set my standards up too high; or perhaps Lights Out just isn't a scary film at all.

The premise is simple: the lights go out, a figure appears, which you can guess means cheap jump scares abound. Obviously the film delves into what the figure is & why it's there (an hour and a half does need to be filled, after all) but it's not really worth the ride.

Those seeking quick jumps might want to give this a look, but it's been done before (and better too).

Rating - 4/10

And what makes you think that you're so special you deserve your own horror thread instead of promoing the horror discussion thread?!

(I'll perch anyway)

28/01/2017

Blair Witch (2016)

I was very reluctant to watching this; I cannot stress how much of a fan of the first film I am (I'm aware it's a film which has divided opinion for the last 18 years and that is fine) and the thought of a sequel (negative reviews aside) wasn't comforting to me. I knew that, for me, the original was never going to be topped but I went in with an open mind, whilst also expecting a crap rehash. And I was right...

Kind of.

Originally titled "The Woods", Blair Witch follows James Donahue and his close friends enter the woods near Burkittsville where his older sister Heather (along with her two friends) disappeared in 1994.

The film picks up pace rather quickly; whilst the first film had quite a bit of an introduction, ten minutes in to this and they were already setting up camp for their first night. I guess hearing about the legend of the woods again after it was delved into so deeply in the original would be unnecessary, but half hour in & I was struggling to remember their names.

So, what's changed this time around? Well, our campers are equipped with some of the latest technology, the most impressive being GPS devices (which obviously turn out to be useless when the group quickly get lost) and a drone (which I shall go into a bit more shortly). These gadgets aside, it's more of the same from before: spending the day walking around in a circle, being woken up at night by strange noises, mysterious twig figures/rocks randomly turning up and of course, the odd person disappearing. These are all fine and work to a degree, but the biggest problem is that these have all been covered before in the original, and better too. The relationships in the first seemed natural, as did the desperation when they realised they were lost. This film lacks the above, mainly because it seems to be over too quickly.

Saying that, it's not all bad news. The scares do work more often than not, and there are some really clever ideas going on here, some of which are probably a bit unutilised. The drone is a stand out case of this; although it (obviously) goes airborne a few times, it doesn't really lead to much in the grand scheme of things, apart from one nerve wrecking scene (and one of the highlights from the film) , in which it gets stuck in a tree... I won't give any more away. Another interesting aspect is that of time; just like the helpless heroes getting lost, both day and night do too. What they believe are hours passed turn out to be days, and whilst I would have liked a bit more development, it was an intriguing idea.

The last fifteen minutes manage to answer some questions fans have been wondering all these years whilst providing some heart pounding scenes of dread. Whilst its predecessor was over very quickly, this finale drags out long enough (but not too much) to keep you sank underneath a blanket. If you're claustrophobic (like me), some parts of this will eat away at you (a scene in particular involves a narrow tunnel and whilst I shan't say any more, it had me covering my eyes with my fingers).

So, does this deserve a watch? Yes. It's by no means perfect, but it does its job at providing more of the same. Just don't go in expecting something amazing, especially if one of the things you loved about The Blair Witch Project was its subtlety.

Rating: 6.5/10

Us with our own BBUS watch threads teas

I forgot about those :joker:

Jake I recommend The Shallows, if you haven't seen it. I watched it last night and I mention it because it would fit in with all your reviews so far being horror films from 2016.

oh okay cool, noted!

My BBUS/Survivor watch threads shade?

I recommend The Descent if you have not seen it

and The Unborn.

I've seen the Descent quite a few times

Recent ones I've enjoyed/would rec

The Shallows
The ReZort
Hush
Split
The Belko Experiment
The Neighbour
Fender Bender
Howl

Omg I'm going to see Split on Friday :amazed:

I'm so jel, I NEED to see that so bad. Deffo going to see Rings and Resident Evil The Final Chapter in cinema though.

btw chicks dont bother watching Girl with all the Gifts it's complete bollocks

Yep agreed not even horror

Honestly it's great. James McAvoy deserved an Oscar nod for thar imo

29/01/17

The Invitation (2015)

More of a mystery thriller than a horror, The Invitation sees Will and his new girlfriend Kira invited to a dinner party by his ex-wife Eden and her new husband, David. Will and Eden broke up following the death of their son and Eden met David at therapy in Mexico. Along with her ex-husband, Eden has also invited a bunch of friends who she nor Will haven't seen in two years. Up to speed so far? Good.

The Invitation is essentially a look into paranoia, doubting those who think it's "nice to be nice" and whether those doubts are justified. Just off the back of therapy, Eden and David are overwhelmingly positive about everything, casting aside negativity in their lifes, including the death of her own son (much to Will's suspicion, although lapped up by the other party guests). Although odd in their behaviour, everybody (Will aside) braces the couple and thinks nothing of some of their unusual tendencies (like David locking all the doors, or all of the windows having iron gates on them stopping anybody entering... or getting out). The film starts off very slowly, and I was left wondering whether things would eventually pick up. They do, but it's a question of whether it was worth the wait.

Like a lamb shank, the "main course" of The Invitation takes a while before it's ready to be served. Is it worth it? Yes, if you can stay awake long enough for it to feed your appetite.

Rating: 7/10

30/01/2017

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

It might have paved the way for dozens of sequals and reboots of hit horror films from the 70s-80s, but was this a worthy remake or an unnecessary retread? Probably a bit of both.

Take the cult 1977 original out of the equation and what you're left with is a good slasher, with plenty of gore and a few twists and turns to keep you on your toes. However, it's hard to ignore the emphasis the first film had on tension rather than blood by the bucketload and how this reboot went for a far less subtle approach. Limbs are mowed through, faces are carved off and there are pieces of head to scrape off the car interior. All in all, a very different picture is painted from the one 40 years ago. Then again, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

If you can go in with an open mind, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a gory treat.. Just make sure your stomach's empty before hand.

Rating: 7/10

I really enjoyed the TCM remake. It has nothing on the original but it's still pretty good by remake standards and one of the better ones imo.

Agreed

Remakes wise, Evil Dead is massively ahead of the rest

The Hills Have Eyes >

It's very good (& I'll probably rewatch soon), but Evil Dead was perfection

I liked the remake a lot but a few things have never sit right with me.

• i never found Jane all that sympathetic. I felt worse for the people trying to help her more than I ever did her.

• it isn't scary at all

• the poor dog being added to make viewers feel sad

My favorite part of Lights Out: (and probably about the only good part)



Also, I think The Blair Witch Project is soooo overrated (I know it gets plenty of hate too though). I get that you kinda have to leave it to imagination and stuff like that but the entire movie is filled with "what was that?!" moments and shaky camera angles. It's just an unscary travel through the woods for way too much of the film. The ending was fine but dragged on and predictable. Makes me hesitant to watch Blair Witch but I might give that a shot eventually.