Should I tell?
 

Basically a woman I work with has been off for about 2 months with agoraphobia, loads of people in work have had to change their rota to accomidate her one of the other ladies was saying the other day her husband is going mad as she is having to cover the other womans shifts and yesterday I went to the cinema and she was there with 4 kids. She didn't see me but she looked perfectly comfortable in there and it was pretty busy and surely somebody with agoraphobia would freak out in such a small busy dark room?

Baring in mind she apparently cant come back to work because she claims to suffer panic attacks when its too busy.

Should I mention I saw her or just leave it alone?

hhhmm tough one really, If i was pretty sure she was taking the piss and all of you were suffering because of it, i probably would though

anonymous letter on desk of boss

Yeah I wouldn't be having that.

If it wasn't affecting you I wouldn't say anything but it does so you should.

Might be worth a mention so they can investigate it if they want to.. but as I understand it, not all agoraphobics are housebound for life. They can, and do leave the house sometimes, its usually anxiety about specific places (usually supermarkets, or somewhere escape isnt easy, could you leave your place of work within like 1 minute at every given place if you needed to?). There might be something about the cinema, or about being surrounded by her children that she finds comforting.

Seeing her out the house once doesn't mean she's faking it, could just be a step she's taking to help overcome her issue.

Yes you should, that said she might be better in some places other than others, like in a darkened cinema

I can't be 100% sure but if she has such bad agoraphobia that she cant come to work as she panics how is she able to take 4 kids and herself in a busy cinema?

if i was the boss I would have her watched with a camera for the next week

agoraphobia my arse

To stab someone in the back, you have to be right behind them!.

You could never be fully sure of course, that's the thing with mental health issues like this, very hard to prove or disprove and you'll have people fake and take the piss, would make you feel sorry for genuine cases

I thought of this but she literally comes to work for meetings with occupational health and sits upstairs saying even going in the room to have the meeting makes her anxious...but a crowded cinema doesnt?

dob her in. If she has a legit reason then let her say it, you are doing all your co-workers a service here

That is why I am so unsure, if it was a random day off I wouldn't say a word I don't care but this is an ongoing thing and if she genuine I would feel so bad mentioning it :worry:

I would mention it to your boss. If she really has agrophobia, she must have paperwork from a doctor to support it? If it weren't affecting everyone else at work it wouldn't be so much of a problem, but I still hate the thought of someone cheating anyway.

What is agoraphobia?

Many people think that agoraphobia means a fear of public places and open spaces. However, this is just part of it. If you have agoraphobia you tend to have a number of fears of various places and situations. So, for example, you may have a fear of:

Entering shops, crowds and public places.
Travelling in trains, buses, or planes.
Being on a bridge.
Being in a lift.
Being in a cinema, restaurant, etc, where there is no easy exit.
Being anywhere far from your home.

https://patient.info/health/agoraphobia-leaflet

:suspect:

....hmmm, if she's still coming to work for meetings and having to be accompanied..?..then it's sounding more like it could be specific stress/panic related to work and anxieties/stress there but possibly only in her job or mainly in her job...?...she may be ok with other situations which don't cause her anxiety due to stress etc...I don't know obviously but a general 'agoraphobia' may also be something that HR have said as way of explanation but it may be that her issues are specific but it's not something that either she or her employers want to be generally known by other employees....sad for her anyway, work anxieties are awful...I've known quite a few people who have been unable to work because of them....

Are you agoraphobic LT ?

I am not

Maybe having her children with her is a comfort and enables her to go out.
You can have good days and bad days as well.
Some people just can't face the world on their own and need accompanying.

The only cure for anxiety related mental illness is to go out and do the thing(s) that you are frightened of.Even with medication and counselling it all boils down to facing your fears and doing it over and over again until it's not a fear anymore.
It could be part of her recovery...

She could just be taking the piss though.

surely the first place she should be going out to as a trial is her fecking work and not the cinema?

It's definitely strange that she's took so much time off, yet can feel the need to go to a cinema with four kids.

On the other hand, agoraphobia =\= claustrophobia, so she could have been perfectly fine where she was but still have been unhealthy to work. idk, it's tricky, do you want to find yourself caught up in the situation?

I do not see what you have to gain from this tbh?

I wouldn't get myself involved. Mental illnesses are very tricky subjects and whilst her doctor is willing to provide sicknotes from her, no amount of people telling the bosses stuff like this will make any difference.

If she's got the documentation to back it up then one out of context sighting of of her at a cinema doesn't mean much. Mental Illness is a constant battle, you have good days and bad days. It's very likely you saw her on a good day.

I personally wouldn't get involved, you could end up doing some real damage to this woman when you don't fully understand the situation and it will likely look bad on you if you try to push the issue.