Paul & Sarah: Psychological View
 

These two REALLY seem to get to each other. There is something in them both that triggers the other one, and all too easily. Whether you are team Paul or team Sarah, no one can deny that they both go in hard on the other one. Why?

As the old saying goes: "We hate in others what we hate in ourselves"

There is one major demon that they both share: Alcohol.
They admitted as much in the bedroom, in one of their nicer, more open and honest conversations.

The trouble is they project their inner struggle onto each other.

We all know those relationships with a certain someone who rubs you up the wrong way and you keep arguing. It goes round in circles. It can be very destructive.

As philosopher/psychologist Eckhart Tolle puts it, everyone has something called a 'pain body': "This accumulated pain is a negative energy field that occupies your body and mind. If you look on it as an invisible entity in its own right, you are getting quite close to the truth. It's the emotional pain body. It has two modes of being: dormant and active.

The pain body wants to survive, just like every other entity in existence, and it can only survive if it gets you to unconsciously identify with it. It can then rise up, take you over, "become you," and live through you. It needs to get its "food" through you. It will feed on any experience that resonates with its own kind of energy, anything that creates further pain in whatever form: anger, destructiveness, hatred, grief, emotional drama, violence, and even illness.

So the pain body, when it has taken you over, will create a situation in your life that reflects back its own energy frequency for it to feed on. Pain can only feed on pain. Pain cannot feed on joy. It finds it quite indigestible.
Once the pain body has taken you over, you want more pain. You become a victim or a perpetrator. You want to inflict pain, or you want to suffer pain, or both. There isn't really much difference between the two. You are not conscious of this, of course, and will vehemently claim that you do not want pain. But look closely and you will that your thinking and behavior are designed to keep the pain going, for yourself and others."

Seem to me Paul and Sarah's pain bodies have locked sights on each other and get triggered easily. Sadly this is quite classic alcoholic behaviour, which is why alcohol is at the root of their most fierce arguments: Sarah accusing Paul of taking a med really hit a nerve; Paul accusing Sarah of ruining herself when she was drunk also hit a nerve.

Wish they could build on their shared struggles and help each other out rather than lock horns and attack.

Judy James on TiBB? :clap1:

Ha. I wish! :blush:

There's not enough psychs on BOTS like there used to be, so we have to do it ourselves!

Well your post was a breath of fresh air :love:

I'd be interested to see how Paul's and Sarah's relationship could potentially develop without the awful Jemma being there.

Without Jemma I think they would get on better. She's the one spreading poison about Sarah.

Obviously the both have had meltdowns and failed at appearing like they've beat their demons so now they're at war in trying to make the other one look worse in the hopes of taking the spotlight off their own addictions and problems.

Thanks Ja$e, I appreciate that :love:

Yeah strangely I think they have the makings of a decent friendship and could potentially be quite good and supportive for each other (in the right circumstances)

Like in rom-coms when the boy and girl start off hating each other. No romance for Paul & Sarah but I think they 'get' each other on some level. And yeah take Jemma out and they could develop pretty well as mates on BB.

They trigger each other, but can also be the closest of mates. It's Jemma that is stopping that.

I agree. They get on each other's nerves. But without Jemma interfering I think they could be friends.

There's not enough time in CBB for them to work out their issues.

I think Paul thought he would have someone else who wasn't drinking and he's disappointed.