Those who shout the loudest, get heard the most.
 

Well, is it true?

If you have a LOUD voice and some consider you to be a real extrovert who is gobby and can turn up the volume with their voice and because of that, they get heard above others.

The quieter ones who are shy and say very little can get trampled on, or just not heard.

Any thoughts?





nodisharmony :angel:

Some people may think I have a loud voice. I don't really. I just air my views. When I need to. Sometimes, I agree, maybe quieter members do shy away. I would not disrespect any members views, and whenever I see a new members thread, I always welcome them. Is this going to be controversial? Again.

I know that shyness and being reserved can make it quite hard to get heard and sometimes many people will keep quiet about their opinions.

When someone is loud and shouts, screams, creates or simply comes over as agressive, as they do get heard, that can cause the quieter ones to just shy away and many will stay together.

I saw a lovely girl the other day. She was really beautiful, but oh-so shy and I could easily tell.

My girlfriend is quite loud and gobby and is certainly in your face and very up-front with her opinions and doesn't hold back.

But, many are not that way and just can't be like that.

Appreciating that fact is important.

Just because someone is shouting loudly and is very noisy, don't forget the quiet ones, who also be nice and may have something nice to say.

Even though, the loud ones will trample over them.




nodisharmony :angel:

You know what I like about this forum? I get to know more about members every day, And the more I get to know them. The more I like them. And I hope it is the same with everyone else. I have not been here that long. But I have learnt a few things in my time here.

Yeah it's true, definatly. In school for example, people sit there wanting the teachers attention, hand up etc but because i'm too impatient, i just shout her name as loud as i can and it always seems to work because she hears me and comes straight over. It's a very handy quality to have, a big mouth.

As for having opinions etc, i've always got something to say on most things and i always do and some people class that as 'loud' etc but it's not in the slightest IMO, i know some 'loud' people and i'm nothing like that, those people really are 'in your face' and the kind you want to punch whearas i'm not (well the odd one will want to punch me but you know :laugh:), i just have opinions on stuff and i'll always give my opinion which some people class as 'loud'.

In regards to getting peoples attention and stuff, i do find it 10x easier just to shout as loud as i can, i know it's childish but it's great, it works all the time.

As you rightly say Nodis, It's the appreciation of it that counts.We can all be shy at times for different reasons. If I was with someone who I considered to be shy I would probably talk more but less loud. In real life I am quite extroverted where as on the net I think I am quite shy because I am less confident or experienced with computers, forums, graphics etc.

At the end of the day it always comes back down to respecting another person's space; So that when we are communicating with someone we should feel naturally bound to ensure that they are comfortable. I don't always succeed, but appreciating that it is important, helps.

I think it's true, yeah. Not so loud in the sense that you annoy everyone else though - you have to be able to pull it off. For me personally, I used to be fairly quiet, and I suppose shy in some respects, but not until you got to know me! Now I feel I'm getting louder and louder by the day.

I agree that at times this can be the case, but it can also be that some sit back and listen waiting for the "right" moment to speak and that doesnt mean they are shy they are waiting until what they have to say will have the best impact :angel:

I have a loud voice but I'm not an extrovert. I even have a loud whisper. So I don't think having a loud voice makes you an extrovert but just someone with a loud voice I guess it depends how you use your voice which makes you an extrovert.

Quotes from Ash:-


That is very true! Many times it is easy to just enjoy your own voice and what you have to say, but just trample over the quieter ones. Many who might be fans of a particular celebrity or a passion of some kind. That is where the annoying part comes into play and subsequently, hostilities follow

That is something which comes from making good friends Ash. I know you are very friendly and I find you okay! But as real friendships build in life, you also build more confidence and in a forum like this, it is much easier to be confident, as you can turn your computer off at any time. You have the control. But also, this applies to real life too and if you are at school and you meet friends, it is easy to get on with them and even become extrovert, when you are mostly introvert to strangers or people you don't feel so confident with.
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Quotes from Legend:-



I agree with you Legend. I remember when I used to be at school, that there were other pupils who would shout out and as I was more introverted and actually, "I never liked school either", I just didn't get heard. But when you are loud and have that enormous voice, it does help. But putting school to one side and thinking of a forum, TIBB "as an example", when you shout on here, it is much different. It has to be in an agressive way, put into a sentance instead. "If you were that type of person who likes to be that way generally", then it will be shown in writing too. Unless you have "tact", of course...


That is great when you have opinions and sometimes your own opinion will clash with an opposite opinion, that is very true. But when someone is loud and turns it into something more agressive, then it can become a problem. "Will it get taken the wrong way?" Luckily on a forum, nobody is going to punch each other. That is why the loud ones can sometimes voice their anger differently. But the quieter ones can also have a go, as they know they are protected by anonimity.
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Quotes from J.C:-


That is the main part J.C. "appreciation" & "respect" of course! It is easy to start out stating within a forum what your opinions are about a particular person or passion and when hostility is received by someone who is loud in their way of expression and comes out with something nasty, then what happens, is, next time you bump into them, you remember that and are less kind in return. But this then builds up into something more sinister. Your statement J.C. whereby you state that talking to someone quiet or shy, you would talk less loud or understand them better is very commendable and correct. If someone is shy & nice, but you are generally loud but certainly more tactful generally, then that is great! It means that you can adapt well

I am quite a bit of both really. I can be introverted & extroverted, but it depends who with. If it is someone I don't know, but I like the way they debate or chat or even seem to be. I do want to know them, but there is a barrier of shyness which prevents me. However, if we swing this around a bit and I talk about those I do get on with, sometimes it can be a like/dislike relationship sometimes, but the confidence is won by new familiarities. Creating an extrovert side. I am not a whizz on computers, and definately not graphics!!! No EYE designs from me...
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Quotes from (~~) "mrluvaluva":-




We have all learnt a few things Baz, and that is what is great about meeting people in this way. Being loud or quiet shouldn't matter. It is what you learn over time, rather than viewing one-days over-reactions. Also, I must say that the above quote is a very diplomatic and political correct post. A politician couldn't have put it better.


That is a very safe comment and I would definately agree with how safe it is. I have views on how loud some members can be, but I don't say a name, as I think it is a good choice not to. Airing views is important and whether loudly or quietly, it shouldn't matter. It is just a case of realisation and the fact that quieter ones would like a nice and fun time generally, "with the odd exception NOT" of course. But, passions can run deep and respect for that can certainly stop arguments, whether on a forum or in the real outside world, all very much the same. Welcoming New people is a positive and just like a taxi driver will be nice to a customer, he or she doesn't really know them. But will be polite and tactful anyway, as they may be?



No.

Very peaceful discussion and honest feelings.




nodisharmony :angel:

One of the problems on the net is the way you come accross. There are no facial expressions, or tones in your words. Things you may say as a joke may be misconstrued by other members as being serious. That's where smilies help. :bigsmile:

The smiles can also be a danger. Look how many times the roll eyes (:rolleyes:) smiley is used to dismiss what people say on the site by some people. It is the one smiley that we could do with out because it can cause bad feeling and anger.

That is quite true. But can be funny if used in a joking way. Annoying for some if used in an insulting way.

I've got a big mouth and strong opinions. I say what I like and I like what I say.

Quote from Sunny_01:-



That is true! Waiting for the right moment can be a wise choice. Especially as when someone may be angry? Picking the right choice of words at the right time and also thinking before you say it. Will it offend and what is likely to be the reaction, once it is said can certainly stop arguments and fall outs.

Act in haste, repent at leisure - as the saying goes!!
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Quotes from Red Moon:-



Having a loud voice is something you are just born with. It is generally how you use it and where and when. If you are out-going or an extrovert and have a quiet voice, you may not get heard in a classroom or in another indoor/outdoor place. "that is obvious", but, that wasn't the question really. It is more about who shouts the most. You can have a loud voice, but never shout a lot. You can have a quiet voice, but have a real attitude and shout and scream too. This is where forums come into play. The quietest of voices in the real world can get voiced in volume on a forum. Plus, attitude can certainly turn a loud expression into something notacable.



I know that smilies on a forum can certainly tell some members what another member is trying to say. If you are being sarcastic, patronising, trying to provoke something, friendly, loving, taking the p***, silly, superior over an inferior comment or member, mixing things, curious, angel, happy, bored, disgusting, angry, great idea, and so many more... But we love them, non-the-less!! Plenty of new members which fly into the forum like missiles during Big Brother 8 will be happy to insert smilies, nasty troublesome ones too.
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Quote from (~~) "mrluvaluva":-


You are right Baz about the "facial expressions" part! But the smilies can paint a positive picture of your personality, as long as the comments which go with it match the smilies. But I have to disagree with the "tones in your words" part. I can certainly spot "tones" within the words and comments and sentances and paragraphs written. So can we all and that is why things can either go horribly wrong at times, or, very correct and friendly. It depends how well it is written. Tact helps!! The problem with jokes, they can backfire!! also, it depends who is telling them and also, the past history, etc, etc, etc... I mentioned this earlier in my other big post in this thread.
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Quotes from GiRTh:-



That is a very honest fact which you are admitting to and anyone reading posts written from someone with a big mouth with strong opinions would spot that right away. The only thing to watch out for, "Just accidently" of course... somebody may take it the wrong way and be offended. That is when things can or could go wrong. But that is why information is the name of the game and once people know, it can help answer the problem which some may have.


I prefer to think a bit, before I say something, as once it is public within a forum, it can tell many what they think of that person. I prefer to get on with as many as possible and debate, chat and have fun too. I like to create a little harmony too, mixed with some unauthodox drama, but in a nice sort of way. Hence my username, "nodisharmony". But I don't say what I like, as sometimes I want to say something not very nice, but I choose to hold back and try to sort it out in a better way. If you like what you say, then there is a problem sometimes, as it is easy to get caught up in a fall-out, by some quieter ones who usually just want to have a bit of harmless fun and support their idols or passions in their just way. But it is each to their own and that is definately where those who shout the loudest, get heard the most, comes into play.









nodisharmony :angel:

I disagree. I could tell you to "get lost" in a joke way but you could take it as an insult. You see what I mean?

Seems to me that you are both saying the same thing. May be I misunderstood.

J.C. I agree with you.. :thumbs:

But, then again, Barry and Nick do tend to go on a bit, so maybe they fell off their train of thought.. :wink:

Nick says that he can recognise "tones" in written words. I am saying that he can't all the time. That is why I cited an example.

Well read the post more thoroughly L :thumbs:

I would but I honestly can't be a****d Barry. :bigsmile:

Naughty girl you know defeating the swear word filter isn't allowed - that was what your first warning was for!

Red

So hush little dahlin. :xyxwave:

I do see what you are saying but I guess with the words `get lost` the tone can only be determined by the person reading it and the circumstances they consider for it to have be written.

We all enjoy fierce banter with friends where we can really push the boundaries in the safe knowledge that they do know who we truly are and what we mean.

Meh... :rolleyes:

You love me really Red.. :lovedup:

In reply to L

Good thing I do some times Stropz.

In reply to J.C

And that is where the misunderstanding in that banter can occur that start the flame because you can't read the expression on someones face for just the words alone.