A boss with no boundaries/respect for your life outside of work
 

I work at a pub as you all know and my latest boss that has come in has no respect for boundaries she shouldn’t cross or respect for my life outside of working at the pub. She gives me set hours on a rota yet waits until my day’s off and rings me begging to come in. There’s always some DRAMATIC reason why she just cannot work and I will have to do it for her. I went in for her on Friday afternoon because she ‘had a tummy bug’ but she ate pizza in front of my face about 2 hours later and then had a row with me when I moaned that she tried to give me my wages out of the till instead of in the bank. I did a 13 hour shift on Saturday finishing at 1, plus an 8 hour shift yesterday and my first day off today she’s already rang asking me to go in for some new dramatic reason why she can’t. It’s like she has no boundaries and will question me about what I’m doing when I say no. I’ve told her that I don’t wish to be called on my days off but she said she can’t help it if there’s a genuine reason for it. Tbh I think she’s a bit of a narcissist and doesn’t actually value my feelings outside of me being an employee.

Just wondering if anyone has ever dealt with anything similar to this?

I think you've just got to tell her no, at my place of work, extra hours are completely optional and we'd never think of questioning people on what they are doing if they were to say no, that's invasive as hell.

As long as you are fulfilling your contract hours then there's nothing she can really do legally. I'd check your contract though, just to make sure there's not some weird clause about flexibility that she's exploiting.

Also, you're not legally meant to work shifts with less than I think, 8 or 9 hours rest between them? I'm not sure of the specifics but we can't offer people who finish at 9 at night an early morning shift for example.

If your boss doesn't respect boundaries then you've just got to respectfully put some up.

Yeh what Dezzy said... personally, I wouldnt answer her calls on my days off.

Ask for quadruple time if she tries it again, that should soon sort the problem out

Oh sweetie I have been in a similar situation when I worked in a shop when I was 18/19 basically a boss thinking she can take the piss and thinking that if she offers to drive me home, not even that but making the supervisors drive me home even though it's not even on THEIR route just so I could work late, then laughing in my face when I said I couldn't work on days off because I made plans it's not like I just sat around all day on my day off waiting for work to call. Then when I had to take time off for a bad back AT NINETEEN because she made me carry all the heavy stuff and I physically couldn't get out of bed for a few days... well karma's a bitch because last I heard she had back problems and left work and had to have operations on her back, not that I'm evil but karma and all that. Anyway I am grateful for that experience because it made me able to say NO to people no matter how much they try to emotionally manipulate you. And I think you should stand up for yourself. Do you have a contract with where you work detailing your job description and minimum hours you must work? Because my old boss used to LIE to me and say I had to work whenever she demanded. I later found out it was because she didn't want to hire someone else to do the extra hours, I don't how it would have cost more but whatever.

Yeah I finished at 1am and was back in at 11:30am the same money which I didn’t particularly have a problem with because I don’t mind a bit of graft or getting my hands dirty but it’s just the general lack of respect for when I actually have a day off she can’t seem to respect that. I do say no and set up boundaries myself but it’s just not working so I shall have to try harder. I’ve fallen out with her on several occasions before but it doesn’t help that we’re similar in ages and she sees it more as a friendship than a working relationship.

I do this too but eventually give in which I shouldn’t.

This is another good idea because when I was doing my 13 hour shifts she said she’s done them before at another place but was on double time.

Sorry you had to go through that hen! She sounds worse than mine. Yeah I suppose I should treat it as a learning curve. I think it’s more about her than me though. Like I can stand up for myself but she’s just so persistent and definitely a narcissist/sociopath.

this really, if you are happy to go in say you will but not on normal rates, as it is overtime

If you don't want to go in tell her you have plans that cannot be changed even if you haven't

I have a bit of sympathy for bosses in this situation because in some trades there's no real alternative to having to ask someone to come in on their day off if someone calls in sick at short notice. I've been in both situations getting called in on my day off and having to get other people in and it's always a crappy phone call to have to make. It does sound like she's taking the piss though especially if she's the one who keeps crying off working herself, I would start not answering the phone if she's doing it all the time

You could offer her a compromise in that, if needs be, you'll be open to do more hours on days you're meant to be working to help cover for stuff but days off are off limits.

I am sorry you fell that way about me

No I don’t believe that. There’s definitely favouritism when it comes to bosses. One person would call in sick and my manager would be like “Awh you poor thing get better soon” then ringing me asking if I can come in and acting like I’m the devil if I say no. Then I call in sick and she used to question every specific detail acting like I was faking it then just to get the last word is like “well even if you were sick you shouldn’t have left us like that”

Can't she hire new staff for when she needs shifts covering?

Its nice to see that
so many could take your place



She’s a bit of a narcissist - A female Trump.



You are right , though
your days off - need to stay that way
must be a way, to get that sorted.