Kylie Minogue singles ranked by Nancy!
 

Inspired by Tom C's Madonna thread.

I'm going to be ranking Kylie's singles from least fav to favourite over the next few days, so enjoy!

https://i.ibb.co/wrPVqDx/Kylie-Minogue-Kylie.jpg

Coming soon!

Red Blooded Woman better win. :laugh:

You should do a Madonna one too!

:love:

Spinning around won

German Bold Italic and Sometime Samurai WON :love:

Are duets with Jason Donovan going to be included?

I hope you can do that, especially for me.

Yes! I'll be including the duets too. Even the awful Nick Cave one. :joker:

70:
Ok, so we'll kick this off with "Beautiful" - the abhorrent duet with Enrique from the "Kiss Me Once" album - a collection of songs I've never really connected with but this was the worst from the whole album, not to mention the ironic title considering how hideous it is. What's unfathomable was the fact that this was green lit for single number 2.
There's a reason why it only peaked at number 47, so have a listen and see for yourself. ****ing awful.



69:
And here we have another duet - only this time with Nick Cave from the Bad Seeds.
Kylie's voice is beautiful through the track, but Nick completely and utterly obliterates it with his GHASTLY voice. I really don't know what possessed her to work him but she really shouldn't have bothered. It's interesting how this peaked at #11 on the UK chart. :crazy: and even more interesting this type of genre is called a "murder ballad" - because one feels like they're being murdered while listening to it.



68:
I've never really been a fan of Christmas tunes, and this was no exception. Cute video - just a shame she's acting like Joshua Sasse's beard instead of girlfriend. The song itself is quite frankly CRAP to put it mildly. Not my cup of tea at all.



67:
Another single from her Christmas album. I liked the original but points deducted for recording it with Mika (whom she should've left rotting on the musical scrapheap).



66:
Infuriatingly Catchy, but the type of pop ditty a ridiculously uncool Aunt would sing and dance at you on Christmas day as everyone watches with embarrassment. Far to sickly sweet for me, tbh.


65:
Now we've got her Christmas turds out of the way, Here's Kylie's attempt at Country / Indie - Which flopped HARD on the UK charts, btw... and listening to it again, I can understand why. Having said that I really like the instrumental mid section with the drums.


64:
Another vomit inducing track - mainly due to James Corden's involvement. Love the original by Yazoo, but this stinks to high heaven. Where's the bucket?


63:
Kylie goes country again with her most recent album "Golden" but fails miserably as she comes across as a bad Dolly impersonator. This sounds like something Rednex would do. 'l'll certainly be needing "A lifetime to repair" my poor ears. Thanks Kylie :umm2:


62:
and here we are at #62 with "I Was Gonna Cancel". A track which she hired Pharrell to make after taking notes from Hard Candy - but unfortunately, should have indeed cancelled. and what a MESS of a video - Jesus Christ!!! :joker:


61:
I guess you can tell by now that I loathe the Kiss Me Once album. I remember when this was released, she was getting panned everywhere and for good reason. Tragic effort...and what's with the "Eeeyooo oooh ohhh" at the beginning of the song? :joker::joker::joker:

Omg I live for your honesty Nancy. :joker:

Though Cowboy Style was snubbed!

I personally am not a huge fan of Kiss Me Once and Golden...

:laugh: I don't care for either of them, Eddie, but I think Golden is slightly better - even though it kinda leaves you wanting to rush to the toilet after a bad curry. :laugh:

Good choices so far Nancy, but I shall judge if confide in me is low.

"Better the Devil you know" best make the top 5. Easily her best classic from her early stuff.

Top 5 better be

Can't get you out of my head
Love at first sight
I should be so lucky
Chocolate
Spinning around

You should be so lucky!

Into the Blue ROBBED

In My Arms to win

I should indeed

Where the Wild Roses Grow is BEAUTIFUL :hmph: and this sets a worrying tone for the rest of the list!

Where the Wild Roses Grow & I Was Gonna Cancel are both great. :nono: The latter felt so much like her older music, which I love.

I low key liked into the blue

Top 5 :love:
In your eyes
On a night like this
Spinning around
Red blooded woman
Love at first sight

60:
Released at a time when Kylie was considered "old news", S.A.W must've worn their fingernails to the quick when scraping the barrel for this dirge. and to think this was the first single from her fourth studio album "Let's Get To It". This piece of excrement broke her string of top 10 hits and peaked at an embarrassing #16 back in 91. Poor Kylie.


59:
I've renamed this 2 Farts for a reason. This was also a poor choice for the lead single from her 10th album, "X". Not only do I find the "Woo's" annoying, I don't like the way she sings on it either - which is why I've rated it so low.


58:
Hmm, now this freshly recorded piece of fluff for Ultimate Kylie was a very bland effort for a greatest hits compilation. Yes, it is toe tapping, but it doesn't really go anywhere. She can do so much better, and why is she dressed like a 10 foot hooker in the video? :umm2:


57:
As much as I love a lot of her S.A.W tracks, this one fails to deliver the magic of previous one's like "Better The Devil You Know" and "I Should Be So Lucky". and leaves a horrible stench long after it's over - similar to a cats litter tray after being emptied.


56:
Like a lot of S.A.W tracks, this suffers the same fate for being far to repetitive. Pure throwaway pop at it's finest - still, at least she dances in the video - however sh!tty the dance routines may be.


55:
The album version of this song isn't bad in itself, but the single version is completely dire. They obviously wanted this to match Despacitos success but it failed miserably. and lord knows what the director of the video thinks of her considering she had 3 different men in the space of 34 seconds. Poor Kylie. :joker:


54:
This isn't a bad song either, but the intro of her wailing "The Good, the Bad and The Ugly" ruins it for me. and points deducted for ripping off Madonna's Cherish video too. :laugh:


53:
She nabbed Stuart Price to make "Aphrodite" after he worked with Madonna on Confessions On A Dancefloor and I can hear glimmers of it on here - but Kylie doesn't seem to quite get there.


52:
Mediocre effort which sounds like something Janet would record. Not bad, but not great either. I think this was the track she used to "crack America" in 2008 but did bugger all. Oh well, back to the drawing board, Kylie :laugh:


51:
Unfortunately this did not make my top 50 purely for the fact, it doesn't feel like a typical Kylie song, imo. It was released in the late 90's after "Incontinent Princess" flopped and she started dressing like a Geisha for some reason. That's not to say I don't like it though. It also reminds me of "Bedtime Story" in a way.

Omg I haven't heard 2 Hearts in AGES a bop! :love:

Never too late deserves better.

These old ones remind me of watching the chart show on a Saturday morning.