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-   -   Meghan had a miscarriage earlier this year. (https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=371900)

arista 25-11-2020 07:58 AM

Meghan had a miscarriage earlier this year.
 
https://news.sky.com/story/duchess-o...-loss-12141776


[In an article for The New York Times,
Meghan wrote: "I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child,
that I was losing my second."

She describes how she "felt a sharp cramp" as she picked
her son Archie out of his cot.
The royal said she went to hospital with Prince Harry
where she watched "her husband's heart break".]



https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-55068783

[Meghan Markle: Duchess of Sussex tells of miscarriage 'pain and grief']

Ammi 25-11-2020 08:01 AM

..very sad... miscarrying a child is such a painful thing for parents to go through...

Mystic Mock 25-11-2020 08:07 AM

2020 just keeps on giving bad news doesn't it.

Ammi 25-11-2020 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mystic Mock (Post 10959114)
2020 just keeps on giving bad news doesn't it.

...almost over, Mock...:hug:..but yeah, I think relentless to the very end...

Cherie 25-11-2020 09:01 AM

well that's very sad, but I don't agree that discussing losing a baby is taboo or shameful as she suggests in the NYT, no idea why she is saying that.

By Estelle Shirbon


LONDON (Reuters) - Meghan, Britain's Duchess of Sussex, has revealed that she had a miscarriage, an extraordinarily personal disclosure coming from a high-profile British royal.

The wife of Prince Harry and former actress wrote about the experience in detail in an opinion article published in the New York Times on Wednesday, saying that it took place one July morning when she was caring for Archie, the couple's son.


"I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second," Meghan wrote, describing how she felt a sharp cramp after picking up Archie from his crib, and dropped to the floor with him in her arms, humming a lullaby to keep them both calm.

Meghan described how she and her husband were both in tears as she lay in a hospital bed hours later.

"Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few," she wrote.

"In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 of them will have suffered from miscarriage. Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning."

joeysteele 25-11-2020 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mystic Mock (Post 10959114)
2020 just keeps on giving bad news doesn't it.

Never seems to stop Mock.

This is sad to read really, my thoughts go out to them.

Niamh. 25-11-2020 09:44 AM

Very sad for them both

Niamh. 25-11-2020 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie (Post 10959146)
well that's very sad, but I don't agree that discussing losing a baby is taboo or shameful as she suggests in the NYT, no idea why she is saying that.

By Estelle Shirbon


LONDON (Reuters) - Meghan, Britain's Duchess of Sussex, has revealed that she had a miscarriage, an extraordinarily personal disclosure coming from a high-profile British royal.

The wife of Prince Harry and former actress wrote about the experience in detail in an opinion article published in the New York Times on Wednesday, saying that it took place one July morning when she was caring for Archie, the couple's son.


"I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second," Meghan wrote, describing how she felt a sharp cramp after picking up Archie from his crib, and dropped to the floor with him in her arms, humming a lullaby to keep them both calm.

Meghan described how she and her husband were both in tears as she lay in a hospital bed hours later.

"Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few," she wrote.

"In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 of them will have suffered from miscarriage. Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning."

I half agree with her, I don't think people talk about it loads, just because it's a more unusual grief, there's not a person people knew to talk about and grieve for so that makes it more difficult however I've never heard the opinion that having a miscarriage was shameful and don't understand how it could ever been looked at in that way

Cherie 25-11-2020 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh. (Post 10959168)
I half agree with her, I don't think people talk about it loads, just because it's a more unusual grief, there's not a person people knew to talk about and grieve for so that makes it more difficult however I've never heard the opinion that having a miscarriage was shameful and don't understand how it could ever been looked at in that way





Neither have I, I think the stat is something like 1 in 3 women will experience a miscarriage as well, so it's not rare or uncommon

Niamh. 25-11-2020 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie (Post 10959171)
[/B]


Neither have I, I think the stat is something like 1 in 3 women will experience a miscarriage as well, so it's not rare or uncommon

Maybe it's shameful in Royal circles, started watching The Crown (only on Season 1 still) Bloody hell what a load of nonsense their lives are

Cherie 25-11-2020 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh. (Post 10959178)
Maybe it's shameful in Royal circles, started watching The Crown (only on Season 1 still) Bloody hell what a load of nonsense their lives are

I don't think so Zara Phillips and Sophie Wessex both had miscarriages and spoke about it, thats recent times obviously, anyway Meghan and Harry no longer represent the Royals, so again that should not be an issue

Niamh. 25-11-2020 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie (Post 10959185)
I don't think so Zara Phillips and Sophie Wessex both had miscarriages and spoke about it, thats recent times obviously, anyway Meghan and Harry no longer represent the Royals, so again that should not be an issue

Well they don't officially but they're always going to be considered Royals

Liam- 25-11-2020 10:25 AM

Even when talking about something like this people still find something to criticise her for, Jesus

Niamh. 25-11-2020 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liam- (Post 10959194)
Even when talking about something like this people still find something to criticise her for, Jesus

Liam, it's a conversation, she is encouraging conversation around the topic and that's what we're doing *I was not criticizing her at all

Kizzy 25-11-2020 10:54 AM

I know we all deal with things differently.. and maybe it's my gritty northern nature but the kind of romanticised storytime way this is reported in the article? .. it kind of creeps me out.

rusticgal 25-11-2020 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie (Post 10959146)
well that's very sad, but I don't agree that discussing losing a baby is taboo or shameful as she suggests in the NYT, no idea why she is saying that.


I totally agree. I too had a miscarriage before I had my 2nd son. It is devastating and I empathise with them. However its often a private matter and many like to keep it that way.

AnnieK 25-11-2020 11:03 AM

Having had fertility issues in the past and speaking to lots of other women who have, a lot of people who miscarry feel like a failure and that it was somehow their fault and so maybe that's what she means by taboo? People don't often talk about it much, I never told too many people when I was going through IVF as I got tired of the sympathetic looks and words and I hated that people almost apologised when they told me they were pregnant. It was sweet that they were trying to be sensitive but I was putting my body through a whole world of hormonal nightmares to try and have a child so would never have been upset to hear someone had managed to get pregnant.

rusticgal 25-11-2020 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kizzy (Post 10959208)
I know we all deal with things differently.. and maybe it's my gritty northern nature but the kind of romanticised storytime way this is reported in the article? .. it kind of creeps me out.


I know the point you are making...

Niamh. 25-11-2020 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnnieK (Post 10959216)
Having had fertility issues in the past and speaking to lots of other women who have, a lot of people who miscarry feel like a failure and that it was somehow their fault and so maybe that's what she means by taboo? People don't often talk about it much, I never told too many people when I was going through IVF as I got tired of the sympathetic looks and words and I hated that people almost apologised when they told me they were pregnant. It was sweet that they were trying to be sensitive but I was putting my body through a whole world of hormonal nightmares to try and have a child so would never have been upset to hear someone had managed to get pregnant.

Ah yes OK, that makes sense actually. So glad you got your gorgeous little boy after all you went through Annie :love:

Ammi 25-11-2020 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnnieK (Post 10959216)
Having had fertility issues in the past and speaking to lots of other women who have, a lot of people who miscarry feel like a failure and that it was somehow their fault and so maybe that's what she means by taboo? People don't often talk about it much, I never told too many people when I was going through IVF as I got tired of the sympathetic looks and words and I hated that people almost apologised when they told me they were pregnant. It was sweet that they were trying to be sensitive but I was putting my body through a whole world of hormonal nightmares to try and have a child so would never have been upset to hear someone had managed to get pregnant.

...Annie...:love:...

AnnieK 25-11-2020 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh. (Post 10959227)
Ah yes OK, that makes sense actually. So glad you got your gorgeous little boy after all you went through Annie :love:

Aw thanks Niamh. Its was awful and then to conceive naturally after everything was a shocker.

rusticgal 25-11-2020 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnnieK (Post 10959216)
Having had fertility issues in the past and speaking to lots of other women who have, a lot of people who miscarry feel like a failure and that it was somehow their fault and so maybe that's what she means by taboo? People don't often talk about it much, I never told too many people when I was going through IVF as I got tired of the sympathetic looks and words and I hated that people almost apologised when they told me they were pregnant. It was sweet that they were trying to be sensitive but I was putting my body through a whole world of hormonal nightmares to try and have a child so would never have been upset to hear someone had managed to get pregnant.

I have to say I never felt like a failure. As devastating as it was I remember looking at my 1st son and thinking how lucky I was to have him. Also I am a great believer in Fate and something obviously wasnt right and it wasnt therefore meant to be.
I can understand feelings of guilt and failure but not Shame :shrug: Neither do I think its a Taboo subject...

I do feel for women that so desire motherhood but are denied it...and Im so glad Annie that things worked out for you in the end.

AnnieK 25-11-2020 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rusticgal (Post 10959249)
I have to say I never felt like a failure. As devastating as it was I remember looking at my 1st son and thinking how lucky I was to have him. Also I am a great believer in Fate and something obviously wasnt right and it wasnt therefore meant to be.
I can understand feelings of guilt and failure but not Shame :shrug: Neither do I think its a Taboo subject...

I do feel for women that so desire motherhood but are denied it...and Im so glad Annie that things worked out for you in the end.

Thanks Rusti....it was a hard slog but worth the wait :love:

Your thoughts and feelings are very personal after a miscarriage. The clinic offered counselling for feelings of failure. I was quite pragmatic and thought that obviously the embryos I had transferred during the multiple rounds of IVF were just not destined to be babies. Some of the ladies I met though felt like complete failures. They had been through multiple miscarriages and been told by Drs that there was no medical reason for them or ladies like me who just couldn't get pregnant and they felt ashamed for failing to give their partners a child or parents a grandchild etc.

That need for motherhood in some people is so strong isn't it?

Kazanne 25-11-2020 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cherie (Post 10959171)
[/B]


Neither have I, I think the stat is something like 1 in 3 women will experience a miscarriage as well, so it's not rare or uncommon

Its quite common Cherie I had a miscarriage a few years ago, I think most women go through this , it's very sad for everyone.

Niamh. 25-11-2020 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnnieK (Post 10959241)
Aw thanks Niamh. Its was awful and then to conceive naturally after everything was a shocker.

I've heard quite a few stories like that happening actually where people give up on IVF and adopt or just accept that they will never have children and then all of a sudden get pregnant naturally, it must be something to do with not thinking or worrying about it anymore. Stress can have such a physical effect on our bodies


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