Gifting/lending money to friends and family
 

I made a similar thread a while back but I thought I’d try again with more refined options in the poll.

I would give anyone a tenner and not expect it back tbf

There’s only a handful of people I would lend money to who I would trust to pay it back if they were really desperate. I don’t like situations where I have to lend money or have someone lend me money tho.

Can I have a tenner?

i loan, but i don't expect it back, because that becomes a business arrangement. If I end up getting the money back, great, but I never count on it or expect it

I never borrow and hate lending. Lost a couple of friends from lending money, never getting it back and not wanting to ask for it.

Neither a borrow nor a lender be.

Me and my friends used to just sell each other stuff instead. Like I bought a friend's PS2 from him when he was desperate. Paid £100 when they were going for about £150 :joker:. Cut-throat world.

The only time I've loaned a friend money was because he told me he was so broke he couldn't buy food - but it was actually because he had forgotten to get his girlfriend anything for her 21st :oh:. He did pay me back but it was literally £5 here and there over the space of a year :joker:.

My friends/family don't ask to borrow money generally, a part from maybe on a night out and one of us runs out of money and doesn't want to find an atm, we always paid each other back the next day though (that never happens anymore though now since tapping became a thing

My opinion remains the same overall as the last thread; if you can afford it (and want to help) then gift the money, don't expect it back, and don't let people take the p (i.e. spending all of their own money on non-essentials then crying poor).

If they DECIDE to pay it back then accept graciously; don't insist on it being a gift (its a pride issue for some people). But always consider it gifted in your own head, and thus never give money you can't afford to lose permanently.

Also I'd say a big no to "enabling" - giving people money for drugs, alcohol, gambling etc... some people (often parents) end up doing this out of fear that the person will turn to crime if they don't give them the cash. It's never a good idea and only makes things worse.

Ahh yeah I think that's different, loaning cash at a pub and getting it back when you pass the cashline, we used to do that all the time. That's an old-fashioned issue now though since basically everywhere is cashless and most places you don't even have to go to the bar, you get the round in from your phone at the table :omgno:.

Like I said on the other thread I was out a couple of months ago and hadn't been since pre-covid. I was amazed. I ****ing love it! I've always hated standing at sweaty bars waving a grubby banknote. Sitting there like a little prince ordering drinks on my phone and having them come straight to the table was just wonderful :flutter:.

Oh we don't have that option here but it is still just table service at Pubs atm which is great (not that I ever actually go to the bar when I'm out with Gav anyway, we have a deal that he goes to the bar when we're out and I get the drinks at home - this seems like a bad deal for me now though :suspect: )

Tend to lend to friends, but am not exactly on the ball about getting it back either. If its close family though and they are struggling it would be more a gift. Usually then 'gifted' back when I am struggling sometime in the near future. I swear me and my sister have a few hundred on elastic that goes backwards and forwards over the month :laugh: And we seem to have started just pooling money too really. If one has spare cash, they buy a takeaway for everyone (essentials eh?!) or just get the shopping. Stuff like that.

That's a good idea though when it's someone you're very close to and trust

I only lend money to my sister and nephews and I've never asked for it back.

I dont ask for it back off anyone actually. I just kinda expect it if they said 'til X date'. Then would sit and silently fume a bit if I needed it and didnt get it, but then get over it. Hence only ever those I am quite close to so I dont get too annoyed :laugh:

Same. I don't ask for it back.
I gave money to my sister when she was going through a hard time. I just wish she asked for help earlier. I had no idea she was struggling financially.

I have had to say a few times to my sister that I really do not want it back. She still feels like she has to give me it. But I am the same. When I have been skint and shes said just keep it..I feel I have to pay it anyway even though I know she means it when she says she doesnt want it. Its kinda weird how our brains work like that sometimes :laugh:

That’s what I tend to err on the side of most of the time but for someone in my position £300’s a lot of money so if that’s what someone was requesting I’d make sure I got it in some sort of writing that they’d pay me back and when because there’s no way I could afford to part with that much indefinitely.

If someone was asking for £50 or less (assuming I had that to spare and the person wasn’t a complete randomer/piss-taker) I’d probably just gift the person. Some people always revert to the principle of loaning and why it’s better than gifting but I just feel like chasing someone around for a little amount of money (especially if it’s actually only something like a tenner) would look overly-desperate on my part and that would be indirectly communicating with the person that I’m not financially stable enough to part with a tenner for more than a couple of weeks.

Also, how would you guys feel if you saw someone you know’s owing you a substantial amount still carrying on as normal and living their best life (eating out/going out-out several times a week, buying clothes)? Would you be alright to sit tight until the date they agreed to pay you back comes or would you find that seedy/disrespectful?