Do heated discussions make you say things you regret/don’t mean?
 

As it says in the title, how verbally-composed do you remain in arguments with other people, not just in general but more specifically when it comes to staying true to your most-authentic thoughts and feelings and not just spewing out venomous/reactive poison that you don’t really mean in the heat of the moment?

No. I say the mean things that I like and I like the mean things that I say

Fair dos.

I do try to be as reasonable as possible when faced with a heated discussion, but at times I also can’t help myself and I do cross the line, and I end up thinking, I definitely shouldn’t have said that or Maybe I could have portrayed myself better. I am a person who is willing to accept that they are in the wrong though, and I always try to make amends and mean it.

However at times I also try to stray away from such discussions, especially if I find them not worth wasting all my time and energy on.

I have been guilty of it sometimes.

Most of the time though I try to just say things as I see them, if it ends up upsetting anyone then I do apologize for that as it's not my intention, but I was always taught to be honest with my opinions.

I kinda gathered (it’s not necessarily a bad thing at all).

I don't argue with people, or at least I don't think so.

I might have passionate debates. I can be stubborn if I feel something and will fight for it.

I wouldn't say something I didn't feel at the time.

But I try at all costs not to upset anyone and will be diplomatic. I'd hate to think I had upset someone.

I rarely argue these days if I can help it.

I have a red headed temper and have worked a lot over the years to control it (i was very hot headed when I was younger and could be vicious).

I rarely say things I don't mean but if pushed I will sometimes say things that are truthful but that I would normally not say to keep the peace so at times I regret that as it can open a can of worms that I would rather keep closed.

In all honesty, life is too short to argue- I would much rather walk away and have the argument internally (which I obviously always win) and then I can move on.

I dont have heated discussions at all

Yeah, sometimes it’s best to just have an internal monologue with yourself and let yourself feel whatever it is you need to feel without anyone else’s feelings suffering as a result. Drama and conflict are more effort than they’re worth. I’ve never been a lover of heated conflict but at this point in the game I’m a lot more wary of where my energy goes and letting it go on toxicity and arguments just isn’t worth it unless it’s that necessary.

Going back to my thread topic I do say what I mean 7 or 8 times out of 10 but that’s not saying that much considering how much I tend to guard my innermost feelings at the best of times. I’m honest enough in the sense that I won’t pretend to like someone if I can’t stand them (at most I’ll be as polite as I need to be but beyond that I won’t let them in). I’m probably like you in the sense that I try and keep the peace generally but I still have those moments where I really do say things I don’t actually mean if it’s a hot situation. But generally it’s more a case of the situation just acting as a catalyst for feelings I don’t normally give vent to being expressed on a can-of-worms basis (and just like you I’d just rather not go there as far as I can absolutely help it).

I very rarely would say something I don't mean but if I get really angry I might say something I thought but wouldn't have wanted to say. I try to stay away from arguments like that though if possible

Have you always been conflict/argument-averse (in that sense) or do you feel like it’s something you grew into gradually as you got older?

Obviously not including the little white lies we all tell to get by, especially when we’re in unfamiliar or gossipy company and we just don’t want them knowing our business but that’s something quite different altogether.