I need someone to talk to in confidence.
 

I need you to be trustworthy not to repeat on the forum.

I don't know who's fully online.

Anyone?

Anyone?

I'm not asking for anything other than a sounding board and advice.

Hi again

Was talking to one person but they aren't online right now. Anyone who knows about gambling?

Soldier Boy has all the answers.

He's not here

Have you started gambling again and have no money for the week?

I'm online Kate but know nothing about gambling I'm afraid x

You need to speak to a professional Kate, TiBB is no use to you on this one

they have helplines for a reason

I have money yes, but I did have a setback with the gambling. My boyfriend is very unhappy with me. It's a serious compulsion. I don't think there's anyone to talk to today but I will tomorrow.

I've found an online chat with Gamcare

Don't give up. Stay strong.
You had a set back, but that can happen.

Setbacks are normal, Kate, but I really think you should talk to a gambling helpline as well, because this is an addiction that you need more specialised support with. But don’t give up hope. Setbacks can happen and they do all the time. That’s part of the journey.

all it takes is one big win and you are set for life.

fixed

I pmed you

Good On You
Barry

Hope you got the needed help Kate. But this forum isn't the place for it there are trained people out there who will help you correctly

I'm a little miffed by this post. Feels like a reprimand. I was looking for a listening ear and a bit of understanding. Which I did actually get. That's Tibb for me.

Can a mod or admin close this thread

Whats the problem?

If you don’t know then I can’t tell you

I agree and it doesn't even have to be a massive win - good friend of mine won £5000 when he was about 20, lost it all within two weeks and has gambling issues to this day (nearly 20 years later). There's a very strong Pavlovian response with gambling; subconsciously, people think if a win happened easily once, it can and will happen again.

I genuinely think that the first 5 to 10 bets are vital in whether someone or not becomes a habitual gambler. If someone's done that and won nothing then they're likely to decide it's a waste of time. If someone wins once or a couple of times in their first 10 bets... they're much more likely to continue, even if the next 20 are losers.

All I would say really is, the bookmakers know this and actively exploit these psychological mechanisms. They all make noise about responsible gambling, about the industry being accountable, etc. but it's quite simply lies. From at the very least regional manager level and below, the aim is finding loopholes to keep people betting whilst appeasing the regulators... and it's vital to remember that. They still want as much of your money as possible, they still do not care one teeny tiny bit about how that's affecting you or your life.

Also there's the issue of self exclusion/self-barring from online services. It's a good tool to have... but there's no point relying on it and it's near impossible to fully comply with. If someone wants to gamble they'll find a way to gamble. I've never seen someone succeed with a self-exclusion unless they genuinely wanted to... so basically, it's all about the self-control, the self exclusion mechanisms are a bit of a placebo.

Not to be a Debbie Downer but I feel like it's sort of important to just be honest about this stuff... your only option for gambling addiction is self-funded private therapy. And I do genuinely recommend that, with a good therapist. Just not everyone can afford it. Although ultimately... it will cost a lot less than gambling.

But yeah the cold hard facts are, you will not get any help with gambling addiction via the NHS. None at all. Addiction services are swamped with alcohol, heroin/benzo and cocaine addictions. Gambling is unfortunately so far down the priority list that it's barely on it at all.

You ever taken benzos, S.B.?