When formerly decent people do a 180 degree personality change?
 

What do you do?

Do you persevere because the good person is surely still within them?

Or do you move on, after exhausting yourself trying to find redemption with them?

It's a situation I've experienced how bout you?

…(…I think…)…there is no specific thing, we make our own call on such things…in my own personal experience…people don’t generally change as such, not in any bigger/significant ways, anyway…it’s more that our own perspective of them might change and there are various reasons why that could be…it’s just about making a personal choice of whether to go forward and continue a friendship or not…that’s only for you to say….

It depends on what the person has done tbh.

Not always Ammi. I've seen someone go from fun loving, lovable etc etc to extremely nasty in a short space of time. It's very sad and disillusionment. Any friendship is long gone.

No ones personality changes that drastically. There’s a lot a lot of factors that determine someone’s change in attitude towards people. I agree with Ammi on this.

I leave them to it.

I find it easier to just move on to be honest. People's lives change and sometimes their opinions, likes/dislikes change too. Some people's tolerance levels change as they get older too.

It takes far less energy to just move on and let people get on with it than to dwelling and try and fight for something that isn't there anymore.

There is that saying, You have friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime. I believe that's true too

It certainly does. It may not be common but it happens. I've experienced it twice in my lifetime. I can see what you mean about factors and influence yes, but sometimes it's pure and simple nastiness that develops which is a real shame. They go from hero to zero. And it's very hard to find any redeeming features once they've been bit by the nasty bug.

Best to have as little as possible to do with them anymore. It's too stressful and demoralising to deal with.

You have to ask yourself what has changed to change the attitude. Like Annie said, people’s tolerance levels change. If someone treats you looks **** or talks to you like **** it’s probable that that persons attitude towards you will be negative which is completely justified.
A friendship is a two way street.

[QUOTE=Kate!;11625393]It certainly does. It may not be common but it happens. I've experienced it twice in my lifetime. I can see what you mean about factors and influence yes, but sometimes it's pure and simple nastiness that develops which is a real shame. They go from hero to zero. And it's very hard to find any redeeming features once they've been bit by the nasty bug.

Best to have as little as possible to do with them anymore. It's too stressful and demoralising to deal with.[/QUOTE]

Think you have answered your own question there Kate

I've plenty decent friends who've never changed towards me. Ever. And I'm 55. I think 2 bad apples in a lifetime doesn't reflect upon me. It really isn't a common occurrence. If it were so then I would look at myself. I invest a lot in friendships. Sometimes you have to walk away and come to terms with the fact there's.nothing left and it's not you, it's them.

I’m sure you have lots of friends and family around you.
I’m sure the two people who have changed their mind on you don’t pay you much mind. Probably best to take your own advice and move on.

People rarely change for nothing. Usually there's some kind of catalyst that makes them rethink their relationship with another person.

I do. Some people make themselves difficult and it's not always possible to create a situation without any interaction. It depends on the nature of a relationship really and the circumstances. One of the two is 100% no longer in my life so that one's easy. I wish the other would pay me no mind, that would be so much better but that's not been the case.

Just have to take it on the chin and cut all contact then

Oh I don't care, I'm past that. No taking it on the chin necessary. Unfortunately there is still forced unavoidable interaction due to circumstances out of my control.

Be the bigger person then :shrug:

Not sure what kind of advice you’re looking for.

Not necessarily looking for advice. More just wondering about others experiences. However some good points have been made in here. Moving on wherever possible is the best solution. As I mentioned previously I don't need or deserve the stress. Not my loss. Theirs. Sometimes the only approach is harsh.

Couldn’t agree more :thumbs:

I relate to this a lot, there’s someone I used to be friends with (technically still am, but I’ve not met them in a long time) who went from a really compassionate person to the complete opposite, and I’m still clinging onto hope that they come out the other side, but I’m keeping a bit of a wide berth for now, which is a big shame really