Dating someone who you know has cheated before
 

And I make this thread acknowledging that many people here are married with grandkids, but for the ones who aren’t yet married or even married folk back in the day (i.e., before you got married), is/was known infidelity a deal-breaker for you in terms of moving forward to date someone?

I'm not married, happy enough as we are and yeah it would be a definite deal breaker.

I voted for other, because tbh I don't really know how I would react in that kind of situation.

Once a cheater always a cheater Mock. Stick to that criteria and you won't go wrong. You deserve the best.

Thanks Kate.:wavey:

I would probably have to chat with them about it, if they were someone that's cheated before.

No point Mock, cheaters don't change.

Fair enough.

Trust me, I've been there.

I'll take your word on this topic then.

I've never experienced this scenario, so my answer is probably not the best.:laugh:

Aww. I'm glad you've not experienced it. Hope you never do. X

Thanks Kate.:wavey:

And I'm sorry that you did experience something like this, I will never understand why the other person doesn't just break up the relationship if they've met someone else.

They like to have their cake and eat it.

Unfortunately, that’s life. Especially when guys be in their 20s. Courtney as a casual hang-on at Wetherspoons but Tricia on Saturdays. And so-on and so-forth. ’tis a tale as old as time.

That's crazy to me.

I used to be in a relatively open relationship but that there (“open”) is the difference. So both of us could see other people. I don’t know whether that’s terribly common but it was technically me off-and-on for a good year or two. It wasn’t a conventional set-up, by any means.

I wouldn’t date someone who has admitted to cheating no.

It really depends on the situation

I think those kinds of relationships can be quite risky.

They can be, but there’s a bit more context to it in my case, some of it quite personal. But it worked.

Fair play.

Yeah. I wouldn’t say I had any regrets about that per-se. It definitely wasn’t perfect but the set-up contained those imperfections quite a bit.

…when we first meet someone…in terms of a possible longer relationship developing etc…?…that generally happens because of connections of shared values and goals and ideals etc…we have shared and mutual foundations that we build on…but with someone that was known to have cheated then that would be difficult to find a shared connection…I mean obviously it’s still a possible because specifics are considerations as well but then we would be putting trust into someone who is shown to be poor in trust for the accuracy etc of those specifics, so a tricky one…

…but I guess that my thoughts are that if regardless of past, complete trust is there then it could work out…any doubts, though…then it would feel unlikely to because the seed of doubt is there…

It would depend on the context, some people cheat because they have been cheated on, and for revenge, some people cheat because they are not getting what they need in the relationship they are in but are reluctant to leave either for financial reasons or kids, humans are complex, its not black and white and definately not one size fits all, people can cheat for all sorts of reasons and be regretful and never do it again so...yanno you got to decide for yourself really how much you want to invest or not

Does anyone-else, out of interest, have any experience being in an open relationship?

If two people are openly having sex with other people it’s definitely not a relationship