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Getting To Grips With The Rules Of Attraction

Nov 13 2007

You And Yours

THIS week sees reality show, I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here returning to our screens.

Many are already speculating about the possibility of another jungle romance. This is, after all, the show that brought together one of the nation's most famous couples, Peter Andre and Katie Price.

Not only did Katie and Peter fall for each other on the show but they went on to get married and have a family.

However, couples who get together in the fishbowl environment of reality television rarely last the course when they get back out into the real world. Just look at Big Brother couple Ziggy and Chanelle's very public break-up.

The rules of attraction seem to be amplified so much in the extreme environment of these shows that the resulting relationships can be artificial.

They might be very intense and passionate in the early stages but they quickly fizzle out when boring reality hits. People often find themselves falling for others who they are thrown together with in group situations, especially when there is some pressure involved.

Here are some reasons why you might find yourself falling for someone who you work closely with and why these kinds of relationships might prove to be short-lived:

One obvious reason for this is that humans are driven to form relationships. So when placed in a small group environment, your choice is limited and you might fall for the person who you are most attracted to out of that group, even if you wouldn't normally give them a second glance.

Sharing a group experience gives you something in common and this is a crucial ingredient in attraction. This can soon fade if you discover you have little else in common.

It always feels good to be listened to and understood. Someone who is going through the same experience as you will be interested and is more likely to empathise with you.

However, this doesn't mean they will give their full attention to everything you have to say and once you realise this, you might well feel let down.

Proximity and familiarity are also important in attraction. You are more likely to be attracted to someone who happens to be close by and who you see often.

Being in a stressful situation can make us more likely to form bonds with others. So while you might feel the need to be with someone while you're under pressure, you may well wonder why you bothered with them once the pressure is off.

Lastly, the excitement of a different or new experience can make a relationship seem special. But even the most passionate of relationships will become more predictable in time. The real test of the relationship will be dealing with the monotony of everyday life.

Rosemarie Lynass is a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/enterta...6908-20099281/