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Marc and Cerys's unlikely 'love affair' - an update

First there was electricity in the air between the former Catatonia frontwoman Cerys Matthews and ex-EastEnder Marc Bannerman. Then there were meaningful looks and borderline canoodling. Then there were public votes, expulsion from the I'm a Celebrity jungle, love-rat stories about him and a Sunday tabloid underwear shoot from her, but still the public waited, agog, for the final imprimatur of their lurve. That wait is now over. Cerys and Marc have at last given their first 862-page interview to OK! magazine about the relationship, which is already being spoken about in the same breath as Dante and Beatrice, Antony and Cleopatra, Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee.

The first few hundred pages run true to OK! form - a series of searching questions carefully formulated to probe the darkest recesses of the celebrity mind and bring forth the true soul buried beneath the artifice of fame to thousands of rapt, mouth-breathing readers. "Was it love at first sight?" asks the professionally breathless interviewer. Marc: "It was for me." Cerys: "Me too ... there was this connection." "How was your first kiss?" Cerys: "I feel shy!" Marc: "It was amazing for me. Everything is exciting."

But wait! What is this? Just when you are thinking that no two people could be more passionately committed to each other, question 2,536 strikes. Will they be spending Christmas together? "Yes," says Cerys. "Possibly." 'Tis a qualifier that lets a tiny chink of daylight in upon magic. But worse is to come. Do they have any plans for kids together, asks OK! "I think we'd better get a date under our belt first," Cerys replies, betraying signs of rational thought profoundly at odds with her current journey from rock goddess to generic celebrity fool. "Precisely," adds Marc, with a primness that sits similarly oddly with his part-man, part-mahogany-sideboard physique.

The interviewer ploughs on. Might a wedding be on the cards? Cerys "smiles". OK! doesn't do adjectives, but the "mirthlessly" is implied. "We're amazed by everyone's interest, but it's a bit early to be thinking about that," she responds. A thousand readers' dreams crumble into ash.

The interview ends on an ambiguous note - Marc says he will be introducing his inamorata to his friends because they "aren't unhappy about the situation" - and we are left to hope that what we have witnessed are symptoms merely of the natural fragility of a fledgling relationship, and not the first cracks in a once perfect monument to the power of PR - sorry, love.

Source: Guardian