Deep Meaningful Sex
 

Tanked up on a power mix of beer, white wine and cider, the horny housemates were in a down and dirty mood early this morning; in bed but far from asleep.

Tending their mud wrestling wounds and carpet burns their excited chatter soon turned to the favourite subject of sex, specifically porn and self-service.

Nadia had done a spot-on impression of Chinese pornography earlier in the day, and encouraged the housemates to explore the globe through the medium of porn. "I want to hear Marco do Italian porn," she said teasingly. "Mamma Mia, Mozzarella, Pavarotti," she went on as Marco proceeded to squeak repeatedly (and for no apparent reason).

Emma got into the spirit of things with a scene from a German porn movie that basically involved screaming: "Gutten Tag! Gutten Tag. Ah. Ya" (loosely translated as Hello! Yes!)

Someone then brought up the subject of orgasms and it was decided that each housemate should perform one lasting 30 seconds. Jay reckoned they should start with cool girls Vanessa and Shell but, once all the squawking had died down, an icy silence emanated from the blonde side of the room.

Not to be put off, Stuart suggested that the two blondes simply pretend they were doing it with each other.

"****** off" said Vanessa, breaking the silence. "It's been a while, I've forgotten" she added, tragically.

Stop it, I won't be able to sleep...


In all the excitement, the audience missed Shell's orgasm, which was a tiny 'ahhh'. When pressed to do it again she refused, complaining, "Now I've got to go to sleep thinking about sex."

At last it was Emma's go. "Don't make it too theatrical" warned Jay.

Emma started with some heavy breathing. "That sounds like ******ing Darth Vader" was Jay's response.

Jay was more impressed with Emma's second attempt. "That's quite life-like" he declared of Emma's blatant faking, suggesting that of those 250 women he claims to have pleasured, a good few probably pulled the wool over his eyes.

Bless.

Victor's performance was vocal and direct. "Yeah, yeah, take it" he crooned, followed by "Whose arse is this?" in a bizarre addition to the vocabulary of love.

Marco's sounded like a chimp being prodded with a stick while Nadia's was rather deep and throaty.

"I could imagine Ahmed going 'Raaaaa Raaaaa'," mused Emma, thankfully he didn't. She then reflected quietly on the "deep meaningful sex" she'll be having when she leaves the House.

It seems that, two weeks in, the housemates are all on heat and it may only be a matter of time before someone's passion boils over.

Again!


Taken from the offcial bb site -> http://bigbrother.channel4.com/bigbr...ry.jsp?id=5699