When Hosepipes Sleep
 

Stuart and Shell have had a relaxing day where their minds can wander, and wander they did.

"Hosepipes! Yay!" declared Stuart, coming across the garden hoses.

"What are you doing?" asked Shell.

"I'm trying to make the hosepipes fight," said Stu. Silly question.

But sadly the hosepipes wouldn't play ball. "That was the naffest hosepipe fight ever," he said, disappointed at their lack of aggression. "They're just sleeping." Don't you hate it when hosepipes sleep?

Then he came across a new idea. "Maybe a race!" he muttered, with a little excitement. But sadly the hoses were a flop at speed too.

"Oww, what? That one's going, this one's pants," he explained as the race failed to ignite (at all). "Fly my pretty!"

Having given up on provoking the hosepipes to have a tear up, or challenge each other's pace, Stuart packed his suitcase. Then he donated another word to the English language. "I think I'm packerooned," he announced.

And in a chat with Shell and Nadia on the decking, Shell attempted a little analysis of Big Brother's mind games. "I know the game they're playing," she told Stuart and Nadia, before giving it a bit more thought.

"Actually, that's total bollocks. I don't know what game they're playing."

Confused? You should be...

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