[Shaun]

119th Place: Charlie Hides (Season 9) - finished 12th

Again, the general impression going into season nine was that Charlie Hides was a fan favourite who was soooooo funny on YouTube and would go really far.

Unfortunately, I already had seen enough of Charlie's videos and impressions to gauge that, uh, she really wasn't all that and I knew she'd struggle.

As the show's - to date - only British queen, Ms. Hides also has the honour of being the show's oldest. Even including the current ages of those on the show ten years ago, I think (someone MB you wanna check that?) But once the sight gag of a creaking '52' appeared in the premiere, the comedy was pretty much over for Charlie Hides.

This is actually the first instance where I feel I'm being overly harsh and she certainly performed better than the likes of, say, Serena Cha Cha or Honey Mahogany, but at the same time... there was such an overwhelming sense of "let-down" around her and she has so many negative aspects about her elimination and performance that I just think: nope. Get this bitch out now.

Miss Hides lasted four episodes with the premiere's non-elimination, and in those four episodes I can honestly say she didn't impress me or make me laugh any more times than a grand total of "once". That occasion? See my "best runway" segment. There are many who claim she was 'robbed' in the Princess challenge and should have had Valentina's spot in the top 3 but honestly? Valentina's "HATEFULLY ever after" was leagues ahead of Charlie's awkward "she's a cunning linguist you know, lol" Cockney accent. Didn't make me laugh, and the starry runway was just... eh Then there was her botched Boston pilgrim "hometown runway" reveal that probably would've landed her in the bottom two if a) there was one and b) her Gaga didn't save her.

She of course got injured during the disastrous (seriously, every time someone says an episode is the "worst of all time" I'm just going to shout "NOPE. CHEERLEADING." defiantly. What a stupid, stupid episode. The comedy didn't even work because you couldn't make out what they were saying smh) B52s challenge; she and several others sustained an injury that would go on to hinder her later performances. Was she eliminated for a physical weakness though? No. You'd have to imagine even Charlie without cracked ribs/diarrhoea/migraine/insomnia* wouldn't have been a match for Trinity's "I Wanna Go". And it was her cold, unfunny delivery in the Good Morning Bitches! news challenge that sent her home, stepping all over Cynthia's moments of humour and-THANKS VERY MUCH, IT'S TIME TO GO TO COMMERCIAL.

*delete excuses as appropriate.

AND FINALLY... WEL-well that's about all we have time for right now?

Memorable quote(s): "Could you shut up a second?"
Best Runway(s): Her white-party runway was breathtakingly good, tbf. And her Gaga was technically perfect, too, in the same sense that Farrah "won" the Madonna runway by wearing a carbon copy that drowns you out.
Best Moment(s): Her entrance look was cute <3 Telling Eureka she should've worn big earrings mildly made me laugh?