...so anyway...this isn’t prepared in any way, it was only really yesterday that this felt like the direction my thoughts were going in...I was very touched that Kate asked me to do this, but ‘planned messages’ are not me at all...and completely out of my comfort zone...
...this year, I’ve properly spent time back on TiBB, reconnecting with the forum again ...and just generally reconnecting and engaging interest with so much in my life that was lost in my physical fight with breast cancer and so much emotional stuff...I did come back for a little while last year...but as some of you know, my OH lost his job, so TiBB had to be put on hold for a little while longer...quand il pleut, il pleut....
...the thing about life changing things, is that they can take you in directions and on paths that you wouldn’t normally have gone down...one of my son’s planned paths changed because he wanted to be with me ...and because of that delay and a change of course ...?...he’s now the happiest he’s ever been in his life...and it’s something that was only there for him in that moment in time/an opportunity... and wouldn’t have been, before I became ill...my OH has had another job for almost 1 year and it’s a job that fits him and fits us much more perfectly...it’s a change that probably wouldn’t have been made but should have been made...
...there are some on TiBB, I know...whose lives are not where they had hoped or planned them to be...and it’s really so very difficult at times, to see a ‘bigger picture’ beyond that because it can be such an emotional struggle...and changes of direction can really throw us, so that we feel overwhelmed and despaired...but out of that can come so much good stuff, so many changes that we never would have made but that are so totally right for us, because it’s so often all intertwined with balances...I didn’t sleep well last night so my head is a bit fuzzy, so my message to you, to all of you...but especially to those who have or are feeling confused through changes in paths and the journeys that they’re finding themselves on...is this little old Chinese story...which is something I’ve always boringly quoted to my sons at times in their lives...I’m just going to copy and paste a version of it because it’s easier than typing it in my own words...
One day in late summer, an old farmer was working in his field with his old sick horse. The farmer felt compassion for the horse and desired to lift its burden. So he left his horse loose to go the mountains and live out the rest of its life.
Soon after, neighbors from the nearby village visited, offering their condolences and said, "What a shame. Now your only horse is gone. How unfortunate you are!. You must be very sad. How will you live, work the land, and prosper?" The farmer replied: "Who knows? We shall see".
Two days later the old horse came back now rejuvenated after meandering in the mountainsides while eating the wild grasses. He came back with twelve new younger and healthy horses which followed the old horse into the corral.
Word got out in the village of the old farmer's good fortune and it wasn't long before people stopped by to congratulate the farmer on his good luck. "How fortunate you are!" they exclaimed. You must be very happy!" Again, the farmer softly said, "Who knows? We shall see."
At daybreak on the next morning, the farmer's only son set off to attempt to train the new wild horses, but the farmer's son was thrown to the ground and broke his leg. One by one villagers arrived during the day to bemoan the farmer's latest misfortune. "Oh, what a tragedy! Your son won't be able to help you farm with a broken leg. You'll have to do all the work yourself, How will you survive? You must be very sad". they said. Calmly going about his usual business the farmer answered, "Who knows? We shall see"
Several days later a war broke out. The Emperor's men arrived in the village demanding that young men come with them to be conscripted into the Emperor's army. As it happened the farmer's son was deemed unfit because of his broken leg. "What very good fortune you have!!" the villagers exclaimed as their own young sons were marched away. "You must be very happy." "Who knows? We shall see!", replied the old farmer as he headed off to work his field alone.
As time went on the broken leg healed but the son was left with a slight limp. Again the neighbors came to pay their condolences. "Oh what bad luck. Too bad for you"! But the old farmer simply replied; "Who knows? We shall see."
As it turned out the other young village boys had died in the war and the old farmer and his son were the only able bodied men capable of working the village lands. The old farmer became wealthy and was very generous to the villagers. They said: "Oh how fortunate we are, you must be very happy", to which the old farmer replied, "Who knows? We shall see!"
...I wish all of you and your families, a very happy Christmas ...and a very safe 2020, with many possible paths to bring you joy...
...
...the song I give you is not a traditional Christmas song...but the lyrics are perfect, I think...and Joni is my heart and soul....
It's coming on Christmas,
They're cutting down trees.
Putting up reindeer
Singing songs of joy and peace,
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on...