[Alf]

"I also rang companies on the product list you gave me. Fosters menswear said yes if you get a second series, and you wear one garment a week on air. Monza said no to a free caravan and yes to a tow-bar."

"I'll take it. Dolphin Bathrooms?"

"No, they said they don't do that sort of thing"

"That's rubbish! I know for a fact Martin Lewis got two power showers out of them, one for him and one for his brother-in-law"