Finished SA1 and it was pretty okay! The merge was so-so with a slowish Pagonging, but then Dead Man's Island twist somehow worked out well? The F5 boot is sooooo bizarre, like Gareth/Jacinda/Zayn were a clear F3 and Mzi/Vanessa reenter the game. Mzi wins Immunity so Vanessa should be the easy target but she somehow becomes untouchable? Zayn tells Mzi he'll vote Jacinda out, Mzi and Vanessa decide to recruit Jacinda to take out Gareth, and somehow a 3-2 Vanessa vote becomes a 3-1-1 Gareth vote
And then the F4 gameplay just becomes all about winning Challenges. Zayn fell and was eliminated and then Mzi, Vanessa, and Jacinda battled for Immunity. Mzi was randomly trying to get Jacinda and Vanessa to both agree to drop because... reasons? It sounds like he thought he was entitled to win because of some deal they made thinking it was going to be a normal F4 round? He was whispering to Jacinda about how Vanessa was fine getting third place
in front of Vanessa, and then Jacinda and Vanessa wouldn't agree to drop until the other one did. And then Mzi tried to turn around and speak to Vanessa and he fell off the beam
FTC was fine. Everyone voted among tribal lines with the exception of Zayn, and while I definitely think Jacinda probably is more deserving considering she actually didn't get voted out ever, Vanessa's closing statement was a really good moment that captured why people would want to vote for her. I must say that Zayn's vote was suuuuuch bull**** though. He was mad at Jacinda for betraying him and Gareth even though he betrayed her first and she was just trying to act out of self-preservation. Oh well, I don't care enough about Jacinda or Vanessa to get REALLY mad about it, but it's dumb and hypocritical.
1. Brigitte (MORN grumpy model who overstayed her welcome soooooo much <3 on Survivor US she would've been the second boot in a "let's boot Brigitte to weaken Sam" bull**** move but in Survivor SA she ingratiated herself after the Sam boot, made it to the merge, and then was able to thrive on Dead Man's Island. Definitely my fave for the season but I wish her edit was a liiiiitle more N tbh)
2. Mzi (a fun CPP underdog? I would've been CONVINCED that he was winning if I wasn't spoiled. I thought he was a fun character who gave good confessionals and honestly Survivor SA doesn't do CPP too often but I think I always end up liking the CPP edits so even though his strip looks a little obnoxious it really wasn't at all)
3. Nico (okay so I don't think he's QUITE as good as he was hyped up to be because his strip was closer to toneless than I was expecting, but he was a fun narrator who cockroached his way through the second half of the premerge well. I'm still baffled at how he managed to sneak cigarettes, coffee beans, and lighters onto the island )
4. Ncumisa (she randomly was a CPP underdog warrior who seemed like she was going to have an AMAZING journey to be like a finale fallen angel or something... and then she got booted the next episode )
5. Lezel (I was digging her more premerge when she was like obnoxiously CP, and then out of NOWHERE it turned into a CPN edit postmerge but honestly it didn't really do much for me? I did alol at the one scene where she was like "the tribe has misrepresentations of me after the last TC, I'm going to do damage control today and mend those relationships" and then it immediately cut to her and Zayn screaming at each other in an argument and Zayn literally running away from her I feel like we should've gotten more though because Aguila HAAAAATED her when she got to Dead Man's Island)
6. Danielle (initial tribe outcast whom was HATED for bringing the mood and the energy down who turns her public opinion around by being a workhorse around camp is an EXCELLENT premiere storyline but then it kinda went nowhere 
she seemed like a lot of fun but after the premiere she just kinda turned into a MORfun narrator. Like, I was happy that she worked her way into her tribe's good graces but it kinda killed her storyline tbh)
7. Jacinda (I think she really could've been something without a MORboring edit. Respected tribe leader who was kinda brashly arrogant while giving TC answers about how everyone on her tribe LOVES her so she feels like she's doing them a service by being the leader. I kinda didn't like how stank she was but then she became such background noise during the merge that it just made no sense. It guess it worked in that I was kinda disappointed that she lost? She's solely this high for reading Zayn for filth when he was being a contradictory hypocrite about wanting to keep Mzi for being a threat but booting Vanessa for being a threat)
8. Vanessa (she was completely nonexistent in the premerge and then she was kind of a cute underdog post-merge? But not in any sort of remarkable way alol her being the very first winner of the franchise is hilariously absurd and ridiculous but I'm not exactly mad about it)
9. Sanele (was cute and nice and almost drowned during the marooning and then hurt his shoulder badly enough where he had to get medevaced so it was sad but then I didn't care)
10. Gareth (I feel like he could've been better if his edit wasn't just MORboring. He was a golden boy who didn't really get much focus outside of narration once the merge started so it was bizarre)
11. Sam (he was fine? A random BIG PRESENCE in the premiere who seemed like he could've been a fun narrator but then just turned into a bizarre OTTN alpha douche)
12. Jude (her quit was kinda sad and cute but then she left and I didn't care)
13. Don (I loled when he got voted out for doing nothing around camp and just sitting there picking at his nails)
14. Zayn (annoying waste of space who refused to play the game and called of his alliances "agreements" so he's basically a dumb hypocrite)
Definitely a watchable season but I was a little disappointed tbh! I went in expecting to love this season and find Malaysia a drag but if anything I found the opposite to be true :3 like that cast rnaking was kinda hard honestly and even my people in green I didn't feel THAT passionately about oops. My season ranking is probably something like...
6 > 2 > 5 > 7 > 1 > 4 > 3
I think? On another given day I could switch 5&7 and/or 1&4 but I'm dead set on my top two and my bottom one. Not at all how I was expecting to have the franchise ranked when I finished but I guess that's why you watch shows for yourself and form your own opinions!
Spoiler tagging my winners compilation edgic chart in case people want to remain unspoiled, as well as my every player ever compilation edgic chart just bc it's ****ing huge
Winners:
Overalls: