[Macie Lightfoot]

WHOOPS I never did my UK1 cast ranking so I'll do that to end 2021

1. Charlotte (absolutely one of my favorite winners of anything. She's loud, gobby, annoying, selfish, and an adulterer, but she's also surprisingly witty, charismatic, personable, rootable, and the ultimate underdog. James said it best in his jury vote that this season was HER journey and her entire narrative is so satisfying. She's in the minority on Helang, she's primed to be picked off at the merge in a 6-4 Pagonging, but then she goes from being the only Helang left against six Ular to cockroaching her way to the end and winning UNANIMOUSLY?! It's complete fan fiction but one of the best narratives in any Survivor season honestly. It's an absolute shame she doesn't get more credit since nobody's really seen her season, but she's an all-time character and actually not a half bad player either?)
2. Eve (lmaooooo one of the most self-righteous and awful cows ever but in the best way possible <3 She found herself in the power seat on Ular and was SO SMUG about kicking Jackie out of the alliance, but then when Jackie blindsided her by taking out Eve's top ally Sarah, Eve lashed the **** out at how Jackie and Ricard are AWFUL PEOPLE and she's okay with losing the game now because at least she'll have her morals and will still be a good person! Eve then entered the merge with the numbers and was awful to the people she viewed as beneath her like Charlotte (for not being on Ular) and Jackie (for being the island's punching bag <3), and then when Charlotte and Jackie teamed up with Ricard to blindside Eve's then top ally Zoe, Eve took her revenge tour to the next level by REFUSING to let Charlotte take care of her period during an endurance challenge, trying to smuggle all of the tribe's tampons and ponchos with her before her inevitable boot, and then running into the jungle and chugging a bottle of tomato ketchup hilariously evil with absolutely no self-awareness in the best way possible)
3. Richard (not sure if this controversial but I really liked him? He was very forward-thinking about Playing The Game and was absolutely ahead of his time in terms of viewing Survivor as a strategic competition. This sounds like it could be awful, but it really wasn't. The show needed a presence like Richard in order to be successful and he was up to the task. He was able to articulate his strategy well in confessionals and his strategy always resulted in good TV? He helped flip the vote on Nick in the premiere, was key in flipping the vote on Sarah in episode 4, was instrumental in the Pete blindside in episode 10, completely spearheaded the Zoe blindside in episode 11, and all of his scheming came back to bite him when Charlotte iced him out in the finale. Four of the F5 are in the top four of my cast ranking, and Ricard deserves all the credit for getting them to the endgame)
4. Jackie (lmaoooooo such a MORN punching bag for everyone around her but she played her role well! She was almost the first boot until Richard came and saved her ass, and then Eve and Sarah tried to KICK HER OUT OF THE ALLIANCE in episode 4 and Richard came and saved her ass once again. This led to Eve lashing out at Jackie after the Sarah boot and Jackie just kinda smirking and laughing in her face <3 Jackie then kinda went UTR in the early merge until like F7 or F6 when everyone just decided to dogpile on Jackie and bitched about her being worthless and dumb and even having NO SELF-WORTH for being friends with Charlotte this was coupled with Jackie having oblivious confessionals about how she's friends with Charlotte since she's the only person who will talk to her lmaooooo this somehow led to Charlotte and Jackie bumbling their way into the final two and Jackie giving one of the worst FTC performances of all time as people kept making digs at her in their questions and she handled them all terribly naturally this led to Jackie losing unanimously to someone who was about to be Pagonged as;ldfkjasskl;dfajs her patheticness really didn't click for me much until the endgame but then it all came together sooooo well)
5. Andy (he was good! He ended up being the true tribe leader of Helang and he played the hero role well. He didn't really have a lot of specific moments, but he was definitely the best fit for being the tribe leader of Helang and he was a rootable underdog. They kept losing tribal ICs no matter what he tried to do, and then he won the first individual IC by standing on the plank for 23 hours and it was undeniably epic. This naturally led to get him getting taken out in the next episode, but he was a good first Juror and his Bible verse shirts were a fun motif to look out for. I don't really have a lot to say about him but he was definitely an important character and probably The Fan Favorite and honestly he kinda deserved it? His speedos were also A Look tbh)
6. JJ (alollllll she was absolutely primed to be A Main Character and if I was unspoiled probably would've been my winner pick after the premiere? She was awkwardly trying to find her place in the tribe as she watched them make terrible decisions with building the shelter, and then she finally mustered up the courage to speak up and became the tribe leader! JJ took this title to heart and screamed at everyone for making a mess around camp and not knowing where to put the knives and pots and other cooking utensils when they weren't being used this led to her being BLINDSIDED in a 4-4, 3-3, 3-3, 4-2 vote (yes, they had to do three different tiebreaker votes apparently) and then storming off the TC set while ominously stating that she knows EXACTLY who voted for her. As the show aired, she sold stories to the press about Charlotte giving Adrian a blowjob back at camp and being APPALLED by their behavior, and then proudly stated at the finale that The Real Winner should be chosen by looking at a reverse boot order since this show was really survival of the weakest)
7. Adrian (mainly remembered as the person Charlotte cheated on her husband with but he was pretty great in his own right? Was sooooooo lazy and the perfect MORN presence as he would just lay around the shelter and complain about how he doesn't want anything to do with eating rats and fish and anything living since it's gross and he just wants a burger from McDonald's <3 he would also infuriate Jayne and Andy and James by bragging about how he'll call his mother on his mobile from upstairs while laying in bed asking her to serve him breakfast since he's hungover, and he also did **** all in the distress signal challenge and just hung out in the shelter while everyone else did all the work <3)
8. James (not a primary character but a good MORM presence on Helang as they got Pagonged. Highlight was probably when he got their tribe DQed in one of the ICs and he completely lashed out at the host at TC and told him to stop asking him stupid questions it was bizarre and the host clearly had no clue how to react but James kinda owned him alol)
9. Uzma (alol random pathetic girl who got sick on like Day 4 and became immediately useless <3 she and Charlotte were fun BFFs but I think she was the only person who tolerated her? Even Adrian was like "yeah I'm actually glad Uzma's gone she was annoying xx" as soon as she left )
10. Jayne (older woman who apparently was VERY abrasive to people and was hated by most of the tribe for just saying rude **** to people out of nowhere a lot of it was told to us through confessionals rather than shown to us, so it didn't really stick the way it could have, but if she got a better edit I'm convinced she would've been a star)
11. Mick (UTRfun oldie who smuggled sausages in his asshole onto the island?! I feel like I could've given him a better writeup if I didn't wait a few months until I finished the season to do this, but unfortunately I don't remember much. I think he was randomly a threat to win if he made it to the end? Oh well)
12. Pete (plays a VERY important role this season as The Religious Guy With Morals who ends up befriending all of Helang as they get Pagonged throughout the merge. He also has a very hard time with the hunger and becomes a lazy lump around camp. These two things end up pissing off the entire Ular tribe and they immediately decide to blindside him as soon as he loses Immunity <3 he's not really telegenic enough to make it work since he's a monotone mumbler without much of a dynamic personality, BUT he really was the one who kickstarted Charlotte's winning journey so thank you!)
13. Simon (he was the middle person on Helang between the older people and the younger people, so he was the swing vote for the Jayne boot and the Adrian boot. I didn't really care about him though since he wasn't very telegenic. Props for lasting like 21 hours in the merge IC though!)
14. Zoe (I feel like most people who watch UK1 end up really liking Zoe but she did nothing for me, sorry! Her sense of humor was very much what you would expect from a comedian, and that is NOT a compliment. She was just kinda there as an Ular number and then got blindsided and spawned Eve's amazing boot episode <3)
15. Nick (he served his purpose! He was some military guy who talked about reading How to Win Friends and Influence People and absolutely would've been set up to be an endgame character on any other season of Survivor. However, on UK1 he became a slightly overbearing tribe leader who had people turn on him a blindside *in episode 1* so alol. I don't even think he was bad, but he only lasted one episode so yeah)
16. Sarah (I guess she's last? She was barely on the show and only served as Eve's right hand man who got blindsided in epic fashion. And she like spilled some of the food once or something? IDK)

Great season! Would recommend etc.