Rams Dedicate Win To Whatever City They Play For
INGLEWOOD, CA—Upon securing a decisive victory over the Cincinnati
Bengals in Super Bowl LVI, the triumphant Rams told reporters Sunday that
they wanted to dedicate their win to whatever city it was that they played for.
“We might have been the ones out on the field today, but ultimately this win
goes out to the people in whichever place it is that we happen to be from,”
Rams quarterback Matthew Stafford said amidst a raucous celebration as
teammates sprayed champagne and scrutinized their jerseys for hints of their
hometown. “We’re the Rams, so I’m gonna say our fans live…somewhere in
the northwest? Maybe not. Either way, I’m sure they contributed a lot. Really,
this is the best city or possibly metropolitan area or maybe even town in the
country, baby, and whoever the hell you people are, this one goes out to
you!” At press time, a jubilant Stafford had reportedly rushed back to the
locker room while leading his teammates in a rousing chant of “Wherever
we’re from! Wherever we’re from!”