Quote:
Originally Posted by Soldier Boy
My "true proper" friends I've known all for 20+ years (well, there's also my wife who I've known for 17 years). One I've known basically since birth. Those are what I'd call the timeless friendships - I can see them twice in a week, or once in over a year (hello Covid) and it be like I saw them yesterday. I genuinely believe it will be the same if we meet up aged 70.
Other friends, a little time and shared interests plus, yes, being able to vaguely trust them is important. Those can be shorter friendships though, people move on etc. though tbh I don't have any old friends who I wouldn't be glad to see if I ran into them, or who (I imagine/hope) don't feel the same. Can't say I've ever properly fallen out with a friend, just lost touch.
And beyond that I like to think I'm generally friendLY and I have great and in-depth conversations with colleagues etc. and I enjoy their company, but there are few that I would consider "proper" friends.
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As Maya Angelou says people are either in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime but behind that there are people I’ve had on my socials since first year of uni. and I’m glad I do because we had good times together. I might not know them well enough to trust them with my life (there’s only a handful of people beyond immediate family I’d trust with that anyway and in any case I wouldn’t even want to) but I just know they’re good people. On the contrary if I’ve been nothing but kind to you (whether you were in my life from the off or for a season) and you threw mud on my kindness and disrespected me badly I’m probably never going to ever forgive you or want to see you ever-again. People who are ‘socially-reserved’ (moi being one) are naturally very self-sufficient and comfortable in their own space so it’s not that hard to cut people off who don’t deserve you and like Livia personally alluded to I’ve been hurt a lot so it just pay to be wary going Into any new relationship now. I’ll remember a truly loyal/trustworthy person ’til the end and hold a special place for them in my heart of hearts but I’ll also take memories of toxic people to the grave and for all the wrong reasons.