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Originally Posted by Ammi
… I feel that all only has a ‘one view’ perspective, though… for me, that’s a perspective leaning toward and in favour of ‘victim blame’ as it diverts and dissolves online bullying behaviour and ‘internet hate’ which we all know are very present in our world of today….(…apologies for the brief aspect of this as I’m not great at typing on my phone ….)….
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If I write a 200 page essay on how I really feel, I'll be chased off the site again
Jokes aside, I thought I made it clear about my view of the state of social media when I said I thought that we treated social media bruises as cheap entertainment. We don't see the desire to inflict pain (self-inflicted or not) on one another as a form of entertainment as a problem worth addressing. While I don't think negative posts should be screened or anything like that, I feel we forget that how people portray themselves online or even on TV are not exactly how they feel inside. And fame encourages people to even say things are worse or better than they really are, which equally distorts things. Without extending this into a massive essay, there's reasons we can't address atm and it's best left to another discussion more suited to that I think as the scope of the conversation was relating to Ekin-su and her behavior, what she appears to have done to cope with it, etc. I chose to address it from POV of personality traits, because often that is how it plays out, that these big characters go into the house with the belief they're hardened... most people couldn't actually handle a mob of detractors without having to take a step back or responding in a panic (doubling down, etc).
I think very highly of anyone who can step away from a situation and review. And it sounded like from what little I saw about it from a brief search, that she is indeed looking at it and trying to take away constructively... but can't do that while in the middle of it. I completely understand that. I think that's more normal than not, ie less toxic.
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Originally Posted by Garfie
I understand your points here, Maru, but in my view, we mustn’t forget self-responsibility. I have to pose the question should it really be the responsibility of the rest of society to protect or mollycoddle those who have a large but fragile ego and who constantly seek out attention?
We also have to ask if it is their mental health or, in fact, their ego that is affected.
There are millions of truly vulnerable people in this world, and I wouldn’t hesitate to help, support or protect them.
However, I think as a viewer of BB and other reality shows, I’d feel a bit of a hypocrite if I criticised the shows and the producers, when part of the reason we all watch them is for the drama, and when we know their premise is very much based on popularity and judgement of individuals.
My final point would be that we have to guard against immediately jumping down a mental health diagnosis and condemnation of the show, when we do not know that to be the case. It seems that is the route people can go down far too quickly and easily these days, and part of me feels this devalues those people truly suffering from mental health issues.
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I agree completely as this is what I believe also. The only thing I would touch upon is that self-accountability and group/culture-based accountability ideally work hand-in-hand. There has to be something to be accountable to. If culture has broke apart and there's fewer bonds, that means there's less of a sense of shared consequences, ie. "common sense" no longer is common. Then it becomes more difficult to determine where the blame should go. It also makes it feel like we can't really punish any bad actors as there's room to say that it is in fact socially acceptable behavior to spend most hours of the day trolling certain celebs. Just a thought.
Another example, how much was a reality TV's star behavior enabled or encouraged throughout their reality TV career? How often were they rewarded for ignoring the haters, through production encouraging the behavior or even monetarily/career-wise rewarded for being a firebrand. Only just this show gives them a bad reaction then, in their eyes? They're shielded from consequences when they're rewarded and see their name pop up more and get clicks. (I haven't seen it yet in this case to say either way)
I can see where a famous person finds themselves being milked for the machine, because one set of behaviors is encouraged and even applauded in one quarter... terrible in another... so their toxic behavior is sold to them and those closest as their trademark. Then it becomes very difficult to hold actions to account when nobody can agree what action actually constituted ill will or harm, when it was their personality defects that supposedly got them where they are. So much controversy comes from a contradiction, imo.
Outside of that, because culture is not where it should be, we find ourselves in a place that shouting across the screen seems to be the only way to get across how gross someone is behaving. But keep in mind, to some people these are numbers and because "numbers go up", it's always good. The fact she would pull her social media imo is a good sign a celeb might be taking any legitimate criticism to heart, regardless of anything they say later, because of course they're told to sell themselves as inspiring... and society's current model for that is unapologetic twitter user posts majestic instagram life while telling society what they are doing wrong or right.