[Mystic Mock]

Playing With Fire: Punditry

It's Match Of The Day, and Gabby Logan is hosting with Eni Aluko, Joey Barton, Kevin Kilbane, and Lucy Ward as the Pundits.

Gabby: "So what did you think to Arsenal losing at home 2-0 to Sunderland, Eni?"

Eni: "It's the problem with men taking away the opportunities for women to play for this prestigious club."

Gabby: "What are you going on about? That's not what I asked."

Eni: "But if myself or Lucy were playing in that Arsenal team it would've been a different result today."

Joey Barton: "You're right, the result would've been different today if you girls were playing... Arsenal would've lost 8-0 instead."

Joey Barton laughs at his own comment.

Eni: "So where's women's representation in that Arsenal team today?"

Joey Barton: "This is the men's Football you dope, the Pink & Sparkly League is meant to be it's own competition, despite making the Sport a laughing stock."

Eni: "We get it Joey, you have a small PP."

Joey Barton: "I'll spark ya if you speak to me like that again, do ya understand me."

Kevin: "I'm irrelevant in this episode aren't I?"

Gabby: "You're irrelevant every episode that you're on, Kevin."

Joey Barton: "At least he is a white straight male, we've got three ugly Transwomen on the panel with us tonight. It makes me view Kian Egan in a more kind light."

Gabby: "The way you talk about women in general is disgusting, Joey."

Joey Barton: "Dabo thought that too, he stopped thinking that by the end though."

Joey Barton started getting really smug, especially as the three ladies started to get really angry with him.

Eni: "I wish that I hadn't have been such a prick to Ian Wright."

Kevin: "Is that true about Dabo by the way?"

Joey Barton: "I don't know, he was speaking some kind of African to me."

Lucy: "That's really racist, Joey."

Joey Barton: "And you're an old bitch, Lucy. I mean how old are you, 108?"

Lucy: "Well at least I haven't been arrested for violent conduct."

Joey Barton: "Shut up you ugly bitch."

Lucy: "Is that supposed to hurt my feelings? I don't care enough about you to ever be upset at what you think of me."

Joey Barton: "You secretly wish to **** me, we all know it."

Lucy: "I couldn't think of anything worse."

A new person entered the room, a 50,000 lb 40 year old black woman with a bald head and gold teeth, and she was wearing nothing but her underwear.

50, 000 lb Woman: "Don't worry handsome, I'll **** you."

The Viewers were in shock at what happened afterwards.

The end.

I hope that you guys enjoyed it.