[Romantic Old Bird]

Let's face it, it's pretty dull overall.

Sorry, but I do find Maxwell a big yawn. He has probably been saved from nomination by the collective guilt of the Room 101 exercise. Pity.

I don't buy the cheeky cappie routine. Oh, I can quite easily imagine him on a cringe making Faliraki piss-up.

Yelling obscenities at passing 'gells and birds' as he sits, nursing his umpteenth Stella of the day, beer belly quivering and second degree burns and red welts glowing from when he slept off the previous nights session under the midday sun. Imagine how tastefully they would contrast with his pasty white complexion. A living, breathing tribute to Arsenal Football Club and the great British tradition of a**e-holes abroad.

Maxwell is hardly a name you expect to find attached to a vindaloo and ale quaffing yob........not entirely his fault I agree, but names are very teling.

I suspect he has middle England roots, and remember he has a lucrative qualification that he must have spent a little time studying for and applying himself to.

Get over yourself mate. Sooner or later the 'sweet' and 'off the hook' veneer will slip and he will lapse into his original vernacular.

He will leave the house and let slip that it has been a quite extraordinary, enlightening experience which has enabled him to examine his innermost psyche.