[Romantic Old Bird]

...'Aren't we just getting a bit off track here? I mean, we're building a KIT car, and that means it comes AS a kit, we don't HAVE to design it, just BUILD it.
Now, Paul, it seems to me that you KNOW what you're doing, and these jokers are all disTRACTing you.

Let's just get on with it. Paul can delegate the work and we'll do it. Is that clear?'

'Yes, Dean!' they all replied, with the exception of Stuart who narrowed his eyes, got up and walked to the decking area to pick up his weights. He proceeded to exercise vigorously, letting out his breath with each exertion in exaggerated grunts.

'Well, Dean, if that's how it is, I'll go in the kitchen, I know when I'm not wanted!' said Brian, throwing his head back and walking dramatically into the house, trailing his shirt behind him.
'And to think I was willing to work up a sweat there, and what thanks do I get? Oh, the RUDENESS!'

'Oh PLEEASE' said Josh following him into the kitchen. 'You had no idea what you were doing. You thought the air filter was a saucepan!'

'Mmmm, but I thought I might look good in one of those calendars, you know, all covered in Vaseline, sweat trickling down my chest, and with an oily rag sticking out of the top of my ever so slightly unzipped flies...' said Brian

'Ooooh Bri, sounds nice love! I can just imagine Mr Clarke like that. Will you hold Bowden while I go outside and look?' said Helen

'Helen, you can't have any thoughts like that for another 6 weeks! You filthy minx, you've just had a baby!' said Brian

'6 weeks Bri? I don't think so.' said Helen mischieviously, as she skipped outside to check on Paul's progress.

'You alright Paul? Ive been missing you. How's it going love?' she said snuggling up to his chest and squeezing him tight.

'Uuuurgh' said Paul, putting his arms round her gently and holding out his hands so as not to smear her with oil.
'Careful H, I'm all messed up, and grubby!'

'Yeahh, you smell lovely Mr Clarke! said Helen, rubbing her nose onto his chest.

'Helen, your boobs have really grown Babe!' said Paul, looking down approvingly.

'I know, they are fantastic aren't they?' giggled Helen, as they hugged each other ever closer.

'Excuse me Helen, but Dean's just told the others not to distract Paul. It seems to me that has to apply to you as well!'
said Elizabeth, obviously disgusted by their demonstrations of affection.

'It's Paul's fault, if you ask me!' said Amma

'How is it Paul's fault?' asked Penny

'It just is!' said Amma

'He's being too exciteable!' said Elizabeth

'He's enjoying all this attention SOOO much!' said Josh to Narinder. 'He thinks he is going to win JUST because he's married Helen and they've had this baby, and now he's building this car practically single handed. Ratings, ratings, ratings!'

'I think maybe that's a little bit harsh' said Brian, joining them at the patio doors.
'But there again, it IS Paul and it is very annoying hearing him talk ****, and actually having to listen to him, so go ahead!'

Helen stands away from Paul and promptly bursts into inconsolable tears.
' I don't want to be in this place no more! You're all horrible to Paul, and I don't know why, he's so lovely, and me and Bowden we just want him to ourselves. We don't want to be here with you, you and you!' she cried, stamping her feet and gesticulating at the other housemates randomly.

'Listen babe, I know the others don't like me, and fair play to them. I know you like me, and that all my friends and family do. It don't matter mate, if they want to do it alone, they can. But I think we'll just have to chill, and so will they, because it's for charity. If you're really unhappy, we'll go, but I think we should keep at it. You're all emotional, and that's normal, yeah? When my little brother was born my mum was like that' said Paul, looking down at her protectively.

'Actually, he's right H!' said Elizabeth reluctantly. 'It's your third post partum day and you are emotionally labile, swinging from euphoria to despair'

'What?' asked Helen, calmer now, but clinging even more tightly to Paul.

'She means you've got the baby blues!' said Bubble

'Oh, right. I remember Rhoda had them when Jackson was born' said Helen wearily. 'I'm tired now'.

'Come on you little love' said Penny. I'll look after Bowden and you go for a sleep. We should all remember that Helen just had a baby, and she needs to rest'.

'Alright Penny' Helen agreed. Paul kissed her on top of her head as she walked off to the bedroom with Penny supporting her.

'Come on Paul mate, I know it's tough going, but the sooner we start, the sooner we finish!' said Dean, as Paul watched Helen go inside.

'It's not right Dean, I'm not happy about it. The girl needs all the support she can get - her mum or my mum, at a time like this' he said.

' I know where you're coming from Paul, but we're in here, and it's for a good cause' replied Dean.

'She'll be alright' said Elizabeth

'She'd survive a nuclear holocaust, little dizzy cow' hissed Narinder between her teeth to Brian

'Naz!!' said Brian' Now that's not being nice!'

'Hey Paul, she's got Penny, that's like at least two mothers wrapped up in one! let's make Penny her nurse!' said Bubble

'God, that will send Helen over the edge!' said Stuart

'No Bubble, that's a really cool idea. Penny's a good girl, she'll look after them both' said Paul. 'I'll ask her! Stuart, will you just place the phlange screw in the......' before he could finish Paul found himself relieved of the screwdriver and propelled across the grass.

'You just go and sort out your wife and baby, and I'll continue here' said Stuart, smiling genially.

'Cheers mate, I'll come back and take over in a minute' answered Paul

'Stuart glanced back at Paul over his shoulder. 'Sure' he said.

Turning away, Stuart's smile vanished and was immediately replaced by a machivellian sneer. He winked into the mirror in front of him and straight at a startled cameraman who felt he MUST be looking straight at him.

'Bloody Hell' said the cameraman to the sound engineer, who was eating a sandwich beside him. 'That was bloody scary, and he's muttering to himself now. Can you pick up what he's saying?'

'Yeah, hang on a minute' replied the engineer, adjusting his console.

He looked at the cameraman in horror as he heard the dialogue coming through Stuart's microphone.

'Here, listen to this!' he said, passing his headset to his colleague

Stuart was intoning the same words over and over as he worked furiously to assemble the engine..

' That's what you think Paul, this is mine, all mine, you're not getting this back! Mine, all mine I tell you!'

'You alright Stu? Steady on young man, you're working so hard, you're frothing at the mouth!' said Bubble

'What?' said Stuart, clearing his head and thinking quickly. 'Oh yes, ha ha, just trying to push on, team work , you know!'

'He's a good bloke, Stuart.' said Dean to Elizabeth

'Yes, he's an absolute sweetie really' she agreed. 'Now what shall we have for dinner tonight?'

The other housemates settle into the evening routine, and calmness descends upon the house.................................