[Christina]

Dear Josh,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our affair is over. I think I realized it when I threw up in your sock drawer at the mental hospital and I saw you sit on the elephant in the corner.
I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand how boring you are.
I'm returning the cut toe nails to you, but I'll keep the oil tank from your car as a memory.
You should also know that I hate your cooking and your cucumber fetish is weird.

Best of luck on the sex change,
Christina xXx