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Old 15-03-2009, 09:02 AM #3
Magic Magic is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 5,845
Magic Magic is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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Ohh, I really really like it. I think you have used some good words and metaphors, but to one bit seem a bit predictable?

''I crawl towards the exit, seeking air to breathe,
praying for escape from the tangled webs I weave''

No offense, but I swear similar stuff has featured in alot of poems, and I think to improve it, maybe bits like this good be revised?

Otherwise, I love it! Alot better than what I could do! Well done!
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