This isn't really just for over 18's but thought it was funny [and bit **** lol]
A man is in Tesco one day when he see's a woman. The woman then walks over to him and says "I think your the father of one of my kids!" The gentlemen then replies "Oh! Are you that woman I shagged on the pool table in Ibiza three years ago while your best friend spanked me with a piece of wet celery?" The woman then replies "No. I'm your daughters teacher".
.